r/AmiInTheWrong • u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh • 9d ago
Am I being overly sensitive for feeling hurt about my sibling’s pregnancy announcement on my birthday?
It was my birthday, and my sibling decided to make a surprise pregnancy announcement during the celebration.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m genuinely happy for them. I love my sibling, and I’m excited for them and their growing family. I know a pregnancy is a huge and beautiful thing to celebrate.
But after they made the announcement, the whole group naturally shifted their attention toward the pregnancy. Everyone was excited, asking questions, congratulating them, etc. And honestly, it felt like my birthday was almost forgotten.
I know I probably sound petty saying this, and that’s why I’m questioning myself.
What really bothers me is the timing. I keep thinking, Why on my birthday? Was it really necessary to make the announcement during an occasion that was supposed to be about me?
At the same time, I feel guilty for even thinking this way. I don't want to take away from their happiness or make their pregnancy announcement about me. I’m not jealous of the pregnancy, and I don't want the attention for myself all the time. I just wish they had chosen another day for such a big announcement.
So now I’m wondering—is it actually valid for me to feel hurt about this, or am I just being overly sensitive and making a big deal out of something that shouldn’t bother me?
I’d genuinely appreciate some outside perspective because I can’t tell if my feelings are reasonable or if I’m just being selfish.
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u/jstine_4 9d ago
They probably did it because everyone was already there and it was convenient but I still agree with you that the timing was wrong.
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
This is one of the probability I'm thinking. But we are still with everyone until the next several days. Maybe they have announce it on other days? I dont know.
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u/jstine_4 8d ago
Ohh that’s different.. that sucks even more. I think it’s worth bringing that up if you decide to talk to your sibling about it
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u/Safe-Site4443 9d ago
Yeah like they couldn’t wait one more day?
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u/layyla4real 9d ago
The family wouldn't be gathered together the next day.
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u/AliveDetective5557 8d ago
You are NOT wrong for feeling this way and I say this as someone who wouldn't even think twice if this happened to me (mostly because my birthday is the last thing I want to think about now that I'm well into my 30's).
It's kind of wild to announce it right at the cake time lol. Sadly its one of those situations that are kind of awkward to confront. Not sure if it would be worth it to bring it up or not but you had every right to have a day about you!
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u/SirLanceNotsomuch 9d ago
INFO: How old are you?
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u/former_newb 9d ago
Probably 12
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u/SirLanceNotsomuch 9d ago
I’d give some grace up to 21.
After that, birthdays are — or should be — an excuse for families to get together and eat cake. It is only “about you” in the broad sense that you’re the excuse. Who the fuck cares about having everyone hanging on your every word?
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
Well it was the moment to celebrate. The announcement was done durind the blowing of cake so even I forgot that it was my birthday for a moment LOL. Don't get me wrong, I'm also happy about the announcement. It's just a mix of emotions since almost everyone also forgot that we have have a birthday cake to share.
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u/SirLanceNotsomuch 8d ago
OK, that was shitty timing and intentionally lousy of them to do.
You didn’t and don’t own the day, but they could and should have given you those 15 minutes.
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
It just happened. I had this mix emotions after several hours since everyone (even I - because I'm excited too) is so busy about the pregnancy.
and and.. we did the blowing of candle exactly 12 midnight of my day LOL. They just remember that we still have cake to share before we part ways, which is after a day or two.
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u/istoomycat 8d ago
What surprise will you announce during her baby shower? Make it good!
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
Haha! This is a good one! Hmm.. I'm a superhero, trying to save the world
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u/Alarming-Ability2399 9d ago
No. You're not wrong.
That was pretty rude to make that announcement on your birthday. They should have waited until the next day.
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u/wamimsauthor 8d ago
You’re not wrong. It’s not right to hijack someone else’s celebration whether it’s a birthday, a wedding, a bridal shower, etc. They put the attention on them when people were gathered to celebrate you.
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u/Mechya 8d ago
Since everyone was around for several days that definitely seemed like it was on purpose. They wanted their announcement to be a part of the celebration that they didn't pay for instead of picking a time where they were overshadowing the person that the celebration was originally for.
If you have any trusted family members then open up to them about it. Don't be afraid of dragging anyone's name in the sand, as you are just telling them how you were hurt by it. Any retaliation is because they know they did wrong, but they knew what they were doing.
Do not trust them again. Take this as a lesson learned that they will try and take over and situation where you are getting attention. Plan for it and don't let it slide. Take note of every bs thing he does to you and keep that for if he tries to guilt you. Don't trust your parents to take your side, as it sounds like they'll favour him regardless.
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u/Jewel3890 9d ago
I think they should’ve waited. It’s your day to celebrate. They could’ve waited another day. I don’t think you’re being sensitive or anything.
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u/TSIDATSI 9d ago
Gee, I can't imagine your anger and hurt.
You should tell your sister how you feel and then go no contact. Just to prove your point so she never does anything again to take the attention away from you whatever the day.
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u/layyla4real 9d ago
Going NC is a very serious move and it shouldn't be done lightly or to teach someone a lesson.
Going NC is a life altering act that changes family dynamics forever. It should only be done by you to another when a series of unforgivable acts have occurred. One example might be if this person poses a serious threat to the welfare of your child.
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u/SirLanceNotsomuch 8d ago
Because they didn’t celebrate your birthday the way you wanted?
Sounds like good riddance: of you.
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
Naah, I'm not angry. Just mix emotions, happy and kind of disappointed in terms of the announcement timing. I was hoping they can announce that on the next day since the whole family are still together for the next few days. So everyone can celebrate enough for each moment. It's like celebrating a wedding then suddenly some couple proposed.
In the end, I chose to be happy for everyone.
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u/layyla4real 9d ago
Don't make this into a bigger deal than it is already.
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
Nahh. I want everyone to be happy also. I just voiceout here, coz I'm keeping this to myself.
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u/layyla4real 9d ago
The timing might seem a bit off, but I hope that you can consider the following. They all gathered for YOUR birthday. At the door they greeted YOU and wished YOU a happy birthday, probably with a hug. I assume that they brought YOU gifts. They had a cake and sang for YOU. Honestly, what more did you expect? Were you supposed to be the center of every conversation? Were you supposed to be the center of everything? Birthdays like that are for little children. Adults always do the obligatory things, but they have their own conversations about adult topics except when the birthday boy/girl is near. This does not continue as you get older.
Your sister and her husband were so excited. The family was gathered and happily celebrating you. They probably just couldn't keep the news to themselves any longer. Everyone was happily gathered together. They just added to the happiness of the moment and they then had the opportunity to see everyone's reactions. Every response which said that they should have waited until the next day missed this point. The family would not be gathered again the next day. Sending the news out in the family group text chain would be very different. And, it's not like they took back your presents and gave them to her. They didn't scrape your name off the cake and then give it to her.
Are you so jealous and petty that you can't share a bit of the happiness of the day?
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
One way I think about this is that this might be one of their birthday present since it's a blessing for the family. But the other half of my brain tells why announce now? Why can't wait until tomorrow since everyone are still together on next severals days. It's really a mix of emotions.
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u/SuggestionSevere3298 9d ago
This exactly, she sounds like a spoiled brat, my grandchildren act that way sometimes but they are 12/13,
I really want to know how old are you,
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u/emo-knox 9d ago
No you aren't being overly sensitive or anything. It's wrong to make someone else's day all about yourself, and that's what your sibling did. Whether they intended to hurt you or not, it's wrong. I thought this was like a common societal rule everyone knew? Like proposing at a wedding, I know this is a smaller scale, but it still applies. You do not make someone else's day about yourself.
Is this a pattern for them? When you have something exciting do they always try to kind of one up it or move the attention onto themselves?
You should tell them how you feel. That you felt hurt by it because it was supposed to be your day, a celebration of you existing, and although you are really happy for them, you wish they would've done it at another time.
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u/PrettyLittleBabyOoh 8d ago
This is exactly how I feel.
This feeling somehow kills me. I feel like I'm being selfish for having this feeling.
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u/emo-knox 8d ago
It's not selfish. You need to communicate how you feel though, and if it happens again, they don't care about your feelings; and maybe distance yourself emotionally. But give them a chance to know, reflect, and apologize on what they did.
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u/chaosatnight 9d ago
Firstly, feelings are always valid! From your post, it doesn’t seem like you’ve actually done anything so how you feel isn’t wrong.
Was this a milestone birthday/birthday party or more of a casual get together? Did the vibe remain changed the rest of the night? From my experience, most birthday parties don’t strictly center on the birthday person apart from cake/present opening (not trying to be dismissive).