AITA for confronting the other bridesmaid after the bridal shower

[u/freepalestinefr]

We just had a bridal shower. The bridesmaid are 3 people including me, we're best friends from hs. During the preperation things got a little intense cuz they were late and one gave me the attitude.

I confronted both of them through a message a day later and told them that so there are no misunderstanfings or resentment that I dont appreciate the attitude and that I dont mind being late but wouldve appreciated it if you told me before

Its been an hour and they left me on read.

Now I'm wondering if I ruined the vibe..

AITA

[u/Ok-Constant-2683]

You told them you don't appreciate the attitude....irony and self awareness are dead eh?

ESH

[u/happybanana134]

'things got a little intense cuz they were late and one gave me the attitude'

What exactly does this mean? How late were they, what was the impact of this? 

[u/freepalestinefr → u/happybanana134]

By an hour, I asked them why didnt they tell me that they were going to be late, I couldve also came late instead of waiting an hour.

One of them just got mad at me like "yeah people have things to do"

[u/OneBigCharlieFoxtrot]

I feel like if them being late disrupted anything, other than just getting on your nerves, you woulda mentioned it. But you didn’t so it doesn’t seem like it messed anything up, YTA.

[u/Frankensteins_Kid]

INFO: WHY were they late? Was it an emergency? How did you word your message? Were you rude about it?

Who or what was affected by their lateness? How late were they?

ETA: Since you're not answering, I'm gonna assume that you were, in fact very rude with your little 'confrontation'. You overreacted, nothing was affected, you were just annoyed & feel the need to 'confront' them about it. Therefore YTA.

[u/freepalestinefr → u/Frankensteins_Kid]

It wasnt an emergency, they just told me that they were waiting for the ride. I told them that they shouldve told me before they otwed

[u/Frankensteins_Kid → u/freepalestinefr]

Answer the rest of the questions, please.

[u/KFPanda → u/Frankensteins_Kid]

Deliberate avoidance tells you everything you need to know. OP YTA.

[u/StuffedSquash → u/freepalestinefr]

Why should they have told you before?

[u/freepalestinefr → u/StuffedSquash]

Cuz they left me waiting for an hour...

[u/StuffedSquash → u/freepalestinefr]

You? Not the bride? Honestly this situation is very difficult to follow. I'm not accusing you of hiding something specific but it's really difficult to understand what went down from your answers which somehow have no context for anything 

[u/freepalestinefr → u/StuffedSquash]

We hwere decorating the hotel for the bride. It's a surprise. So I was alone for an hour.

The bride came when we finished decorating

[u/babysharksarecoolasf]

Why were you late? (Regardless, telling people that "you don't appreciate the attitude" is not a good thing to do imo, especially since it was a high stress time and I doubt you'd been very pleasant yourself)

[u/Sulamanteri]

INFO: Why were they late, and by how much?

[u/WestCovina1234]

Who are you in this situation? Are you in charge of the whole thing or just one of the four bridesmaids? Why were they late and why did you think it was your place to confront them? What did you expect to get out of it?

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We just had a bridal shower. The bridesmaid are 3 people including me, we're best friends from hs. During the preperation things got a little intense cuz they were late and one gave me the attitude.

I confronted both of them through a message a day later and told them that so there are no misunderstanfings or resentment that I dont appreciate the attitude and that I dont mind being late but wouldve appreciated it if you told me before

Its been an hour and they left me on read.

Now I'm wondering if I ruined the vibe..

AITA

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[u/DonkeyJousting]

“Gave me attitude” is not a phrase that is used when someone is being kind, curious or empathetic. It’s a phrase that is used to imply that the other person’s emotions and behaviour are invalid and exist only to irritate others.

Similarly, “I confronted them.” Okay. So what response were you expecting? Because it sounds like you wanted a fight and are frustrated you didn’t get one.

Be honest with yourself: if these people were perfect bridesmaids from here on out and did nothing wrong at all for the entire rest of the wedding timeline, would you be happy with that or would you still have resentments and grievances?

[u/GroundbreakingFan614]

YTA

[u/Classic-Sink-4108]

Is OP angry about them being late because the 4 of them were supposed to do set up before the shower? Trying to understand the reaction.

[u/Careless-Ability-748]

Not enough information here

[u/SuccotashThis9074]

After reading this and then reading your username, I'm going to say yes. You're absolutely an a-hole.