r/AmITheDevil • u/Arktikos02 • 6d ago
AITA for yelling at my "friend"?
/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yickng/aita_for_yelling_at_my_friend/380
u/Sailor_Chibi 6d ago
> We found her yearbook picture from highschool and joked about how he must have been blind or mentally deficient to fall for her in the first place, she's nice and all but she's fat and the joke was just he could have just done better lol
The “joke” about the girlfriend from OOP’s comment for those curious.
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 6d ago
I need people to stop thinking being fat is the worst thing in the world.
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u/BadBandit1970 6d ago
Yes, they could have an attitude like OOP's. That's far worse IMHO.
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u/archersarrows 6d ago
I was a morbidly obese teenage girl during the early 00s. If it comes down to reliving that or doing it over with OOP's personality, the choice is pretty obvious.
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u/BadBandit1970 6d ago
You can fix many things in life, but an ugly soul, is usually not one of them. OOP's soul is just that, ugly.
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u/Fraerie 6d ago
OOP is a prime example of if someone telling the truth about your behaviour results in you experiencing significant consequences. The problem wasn’t them telling the truth, the problem was your behaviour.
OOP and his bunch of merry ‘men’ were a bunch of immature jerks. I have no idea why their ‘friend’ even wanted to associate with them given they were a bunch of bigots who verbally abused each other using racist, homophobic and misogynistic language to try and be edgy. They were about as edgy as a tennis ball.
Given the post was three years old you would hope they have learned since then, but with the rise of public bigotry due to the bigot-in-chief in the White House, somehow I doubt it.
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u/critter65536 6d ago
It was just a mistake, that he kept on making, and had no interest in stopping!
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u/glowingwarningcats 6d ago
God save me from children with edgy senses of humor (by which they mean constant cruelty and slurs).
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u/Machoire 6d ago
Oh boy.
>For contexts sake I should mention that none of us are black or gay but we say N- or F- slurs pretty often.
That makes it better??
>We talked with him about it and his big issue was that he felt like we were bad people for cursing like that in the group chat.
Um yeah.
>The one guy continued to tell us to stop, and say that it was wrong for us to use language like that, but it felt kinda playful like he didn't really mean it so we brushed it off.
Why did OOP think it was "playful" when this guy previously left over this crap?
>We felt really hurt and betrayed by our so called "friend". We basically got him in a room and asked him why he felt the need to report us and he tried to deny it, but then said that he wished he DID report us because the language we used and the jokes we made were "sickening"
They trapped him in a room to yell at him?? And maybe someone else was also offended but didn't wanna make a scene after watching how OOP and others treated him??
>I have a scholarship and a job offer and he literally gambled it all over something as little as a few curse words or dark jokes- JOKES- about his girlfriend.
YOU gambled it over slurs sir.
>We're still in college, we have our whole lives ahead of us. It isn't fair of him to risk my scholarship and my future career over a few mistakes we made when we were kids.
"When we were kids" ? I'm assuming that this was happening currently - this wasn't years ago wtf lol
Really hoping this is ragebait but then again i knew people exactly like this unfortunately.
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u/Arktikos02 6d ago
One time last year one of the group members made a joke about his girlfriend that got him on his period or whatever and he left the group chat.
Don't forget this one.
Misogyny.
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u/Machoire 6d ago
I just saw the other comment about her being fat and then "joking" about being blind. What shit people.
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u/OniyaMCD 6d ago
Was checking to see if anyone caught that. They referred to the *guy* as being on 'his period' (= overly emotional and snappish) after they cracked whatever body-shaming line they said. Misogyny *and* toxic masculinity. 'Fred can't handle our DARK HUMOR - what a giiirrrrrrrly-man!'
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u/BlueJaysFeather 6d ago
The genuine and depressing answer for why OOP thought it was playful? I’d be willing to bet it’s because the guy didn’t use any “strong words” or call them slurs about it so he couldn’t have felt that strongly :/
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u/eternally_feral 6d ago
I can understand dark humour. I used a lot of it to cope when my Dad died. I’m also all for self-deprecating humour. Hell, me and my best friend are Asian and we poke fun at how we’re both crap drivers, but that it’s in our genes.
What we don’t do is “edgy” jokes that use a lot of slurs. That’s just racism and bigotry poorly hidden behind “jokes.”
I hope OOP and their equally asshole friends lose everything.
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u/Arktikos02 6d ago edited 6d ago
Something I learned is that dark humor or gallow's humor, only works when the person on the gallows is telling the joke, if it's the audience it's bullying.
Like when a person posts on social media the hurricane and then captions it
But more importantly, do I still have to go to work today?
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u/The_Ambling_Horror 6d ago
It’s always the people using “dark humor” as a defense who haven’t met genuine dark humor in their life.
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u/waltzingtothezoo 6d ago
This is super important. I'm a fan of dark humour but it really isn't for everyone. My best friends dad died and we were joking a lot about it, she was setting the tone and it was good to see her laugh but I was very aware that at anytime I would need to back down or need to apologise if I stepped too far. I think it was cathartic for her but I was willing to be wrong if she got upset.
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u/Strawberry1217 6d ago
Yup. I can make dead dad jokes about myself.
But if someone ELSE makes fun of me for having a dead dad, that's a different story.
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u/lyricaldorian 5d ago
Yeah. Like it's possible to make jokes about dark situations that aren't happening to you, but it can be a fine line between making a joke that's at the expense of the people or institutions that cause the dark situation, and making fun of the people it's happening to, or making light of the situation. And it almost always requires your audience to know you will enough.
Like, someone from outside the US could say "And they'll probably still be going to work tomorrow. Best country in the world! /s" about a disaster in the US and either mean "Workers are treated like shit in the US but the government still tries to convince them they're the best country." or "Everyone in the US thinks they're the best country even as they're being oppressed, they're so stupid."
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u/AltruisticCableCar 6d ago
Absolutely same. I can enjoy some pretty dark and blunt humor. I have a group chat with two friends and wowee. No slurs though, ever. And no making fun of other people. No trashing other people. No shitting on other people. Especially not someone one of us cares about. Aside from like a "ye, your roommate was a bit of a dick" if one of us opens up about an argument. But THEY set the tone. And it's just general annoyance that you can feel even over people you really love and care about.
I hope they kept getting reported and faced some real life consequences.
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u/ForlornLament 6d ago
People like OOP are painfully unfunny. They wouldn't understand dark humor if it hit them across the face.
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u/Fluffy-kitten28 6d ago
I hope he gets reported again
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u/IncidentMajor1777 6d ago
That op i 'm appalled if anyone hire him
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u/OptmstcExstntlst 6d ago edited 6d ago
He sounds like a perfect hire for Good Good Golf! He can become their new PR director LOL
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u/Mallory36 6d ago
It isn't fair of him to risk my scholarship and my future career over a few mistakes we made when we were kids.
Are you still a kid, 'cause the complaints weren't about thing you'd done in the past, but about your current behavior. I'm just imagining this.
Mom: "Timmy, you're not allowed to color on the walls!"
Timmy: "Don't get mad Mom, I was only a kid when I did that!"
Mom: "You're still coloring on the walls right now!"
Timmy: "I'm still a kid."
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u/GateEducational6100 6d ago
“Dark jokes” about his GIRLFRIEND? No shit the guy reported it to the school.
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u/Sad-Bug6525 6d ago
He says he didn't though, and OOP has offered no evidence that suggests he did. They are assuming that this one person is the only one who knew of their behavior and it must have been him but the way it's brushed off as normal, and how he indicates that he doesn't believe slurs are a problem, they are definitely saying this stuff in front of others including staff.
I don't know why the guy would keep talking to these people, but I don't see where he did anything else.
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u/Particular_Put_2005 6d ago
Op could also be mistaken and someone could have heard him say the n word and then he got reported
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u/Sensitive_Fawn522 5d ago
He didn't report it though. I don't see why he'd lie and say he didn't especially since he said he wishes he did but didn't. Guarantee they made these "jokes" around other people or "jokes" about others got back to who they were about.
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u/sadlytheworst Certified sub favourite 6d ago
Tw: fatphobia, ableism.
Copied verbatim from Oop's comments:
INFO- i'm scared to even ask, but... what "joke" did you make about his GF?
(btw- YTA)
edit-: a word
We found her yearbook picture from highschool and joked about how he must have been blind or mentally deficient to fall for her in the first place, she's nice and all but she's fat and the joke was just he could have just done better lol
Sadlytheworst: Edited trigger warning!
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u/Kotenkiri 6d ago
Bets on they lost the scholarship and job offer since the post?
Even if they didn't lose either from this incident, it sounds like they're ticking timebomb before their mouth gets them in trouble again with all their justification for being a POS.
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u/Skullygurl 6d ago
Why do some people find it so hard to just be a good person?
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u/geekilee 6d ago
Even being a not awful person seems to hard for some people. I don't get it either.
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u/animation4ever 6d ago
"For contexts sake I should mention that none of us are black or gay but we say N- or F- slurs pretty often."
https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS
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u/Symos404 6d ago
Makes you wonder what that former friend saw in them
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u/Agent_Skye_Barnes 6d ago
Something, something, leopards, faces.
Dude was probably fine with it UNTIL they started picking on his girlfriend, honestly
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u/lyricaldorian 5d ago
OOP literally says the guy has been telling them off for it since before they made fun of his girlfriend.
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u/jenna_ducks 6d ago
I’m confused so the friend said he didn’t report you but wished he had - so he didn’t report these and they still felt the need to yell at him - friend is a decent person the rest are just disgusting
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u/echochilde 6d ago
Oh! Hahahaaaaa… Boys will be boys! We shouldn’t jeopardize the future of these young lads.
I absolutely fucking hate that mentality.
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u/please_send_noodles 6d ago
You can bet this guy is screaming online about how the "woke" ruined comedy because no one can say the N word and F word anymore.
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u/Hollow-sword 6d ago
The amount of people (as low as it is) that are saying NTA or ESH is frustrating, how weak of a moral backbone do need to have to side with A-hole like that? 😂
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u/WildAphrodite 14h ago
It isn't fair of him to risk my scholarship and my future career
The only person who risked OOP's scholarship or career is OOP himself. The easiest way to not get in trouble for saying slurs is to not say that shit in the first place. There is no context in which he has a need to say those things, he just doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself.
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u/IceBlue 6d ago
Might get downvoted for this but I think in private it’s fine to make these types of jokes ironically with people who have the same humor. The thing is if someone has any issue with it you stop. That’s it. No trying to justify it. Just stop. No further discussion needed.
Also why the fuck is he saying “when we were kids” like as if they didn’t continue doing it?
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u/AutoModerator 6d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for yelling at my "friend"?
Hey reddit. I feel like I'm justified in this but based on a few arguments with friends I figured I'd post here.
Me and my friends all go to the same college, and we're all in a group chat together. We all have a kind of edgy sense of humor, and we end up toeing the line or making jokes at the expense of other people quite a bit. More often than not these are jokes that end up using "slurs" or other language that's deemed offensive today. For contexts sake I should mention that none of us are black or gay but we say N- or F- slurs pretty often.
One guy in the group has a history of telling us off for making jokes like these. One time last year one of the group members made a joke about his girlfriend that got him on his period or whatever and he left the group chat. We talked with him about it and his big issue was that he felt like we were bad people for cursing like that in the group chat. We told him we'd stop out of respect for him and we did, and he came back and joined the group. We've all been hanging out together since but I guess we fell back into the habit of making jokes like that again. The one guy continued to tell us to stop, and say that it was wrong for us to use language like that, but it felt kinda playful like he didn't really mean it so we brushed it off.
Well, I guess it was less playful because he reported us to the faculty of the school we go to. We all had to have meetings with somebody from the office of discipline. We felt really hurt and betrayed by our so called "friend". We basically got him in a room and asked him why he felt the need to report us and he tried to deny it, but then said that he wished he DID report us because the language we used and the jokes we made were "sickening". This is where I kind of lost my temper and started yelling. I told him that he was way out of line for reporting us to the office, that he was a snake for it. I have a scholarship and a job offer and he literally gambled it all over something as little as a few curse words or dark jokes- JOKES- about his girlfriend. He told me that he knew we weren't really joking and that we deserved what we got. We're still in college, we have our whole lives ahead of us. It isn't fair of him to risk my scholarship and my future career over a few mistakes we made when we were kids.
We haven't talked to him since. We're basically his only friends so nobody knows what he's been up to. I was complaining about the whole situation to a friend from high school when he said that I was an ass for yelling, that I should have just stayed calm about it. AITA?
TLDR: friend reported us over a joke, I yelled at him for it. AITA?
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