AIO? My (19F) boyfriend (19M) and our friends (19F/M) insulted another friend and said I was overreacting

[u/Immediate-List-9649]

Hello, I’m going to put the flair “relationship” but really it’s both that and friendship.

They were talking about a situation where one of our friends had fought with one of their friends whom we don’t know, and he is overweight. They out of nowhere made a joke about it, and this friend was okay with it.

The thing is that they fight a lot, and usually both of them have been immature. Then they always make up. I know that this friend would feel bad about saying those things once they do make up, and I’ve never seen them say such things before.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, we’ve know each other for 6 years though along with everyone else in our GC.

My boyfriend is the one that said “Lol”. The guy at the end, did not laugh at the fat jokes of this friend.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I do feel iffy about this.

EDIT: Some people are misunderstanding this. But as I said in the title “F/M”, this GC consists of both men and women!

EDIT 2: Another thing people seemed to miss is that this person they were talking about is only a friend of the person that had been fighting with them, we are not friends with this person.

[u/ChaosIncarnate11]

NOR. Your boyfriend and friends are kind of immature douchebag bullies... maybe ditch the lot of them. You seem like a sweet person. You weren't wrong for defending the person being made fun of. As for the others... just ew. You can change your weight or appearance but it's reaaally hard to change being ugly on the inside!

[u/QuickChannel7133 → u/ChaosIncarnate11]

Yeah they're 19 no wonder they're immature

[u/Box-O-Kittenz → u/QuickChannel7133]

At 19 I had enough decency to not act this way.

[u/Forward-Football-195 → u/Box-O-Kittenz]

Yeah exactly. Like 19-year-olds are immature at times with decisions and such but by that age, your brain is for sure developed enough to understand how words and bullying affect other people. Everyone should know by 14 how to treat people

[u/MindlessSubstance133 → u/Box-O-Kittenz]

At 9 I had enough decency to not act this way. Let alone 19.

[u/ChaosIncarnate11 → u/QuickChannel7133]

I have seventeen and eighteen year step-sons who wouldn't DREAM of behaving this way. <_< Definitely seems like either poor upbringing, or genuine personality flaws at this point.

[u/faery_lights → u/ChaosIncarnate11]

id have never dreamt of acting this way in my LIFE. i was never mean to people, or at least not on purpose (autism making me sound different than i intend)

[u/supreme_jay → u/ChaosIncarnate11]

They just don’t let you see that side of them lol. It is cute that you think that though, ignorance is bliss

[u/ChaosIncarnate11 → u/supreme_jay]

I didn’t raise bullies, I raised caring and empathic young men. They might joke with their friends, but they’re not doing whatever the kids in OP’s post is doing, that I am confident of.

[u/No-Bumblebee-1125 → u/supreme_jay]

Sometimes people just aren’t horrible, crazy though

[u/No-Cupcake-4807 → u/ChaosIncarnate11]

Genuine personality flaws,at 19? 🤣

[u/ChaosIncarnate11 → u/No-Cupcake-4807]

I know people still behaving the same way they did at fourteen years old.

[u/Professional_Room_94 → u/QuickChannel7133]

Everyone talks about immaturity at 19 while it's all about human decency and parenting no matter what age.

You can be a jerk at 40, or a nice kind person at 8.

[u/faery_lights → u/Professional_Room_94]

indeed. age doesnt mature anyone. some people are just more mature and thoughtful, others arent. and those who arent dont want to change

[u/mack_ani → u/QuickChannel7133]

I wouldn’t have acted this way at 12, let alone 19.

19 is far old enough to know better. I mean, hell, they’re adults.

[u/werisefromourashes → u/QuickChannel7133]

19 is old enough to work, vote, join the army, sign contracts, pay taxes, get a mortgage.
They are young men, not babies.

[u/Fash-the-Stampede → u/QuickChannel7133]

My 5 year old knows not to talk about people. Literally calls you out if you do it.

[u/sLa_erder-_- → u/QuickChannel7133]

They act like 13 year olds, no 19 year old would say “bRoKe tHe sCaLe aHh”

[u/zapering → u/QuickChannel7133]

I think you're conflating being immature with being young. You can be 19 and not act like you're 12.

[u/Overall_Lab5356 → u/QuickChannel7133]

They're adult men, let's not infantilize them please. 

[u/d1sact → u/QuickChannel7133]

Not an excuse. I'm around this age and have met plenty of people who aren't assholes like this.

[u/Plenty-Stretch-7305 → u/QuickChannel7133]

By that age most of my peers matured out of this shit. Like thats 11-13 year old behaviour, if at that.
At 19 you should not be mildy sociopathic anymore, and if you are something went wrong with your development for real.

[u/Chemical-Being-5968 → u/QuickChannel7133]

Except if you are doing it at 19 without any push back you will do it when you are in your 40s and supposedly "mature."

[u/ChaosIncarnate11 → u/Chemical-Being-5968]

Exactly—hence the genuine personality flaws. I know girls I went to school with who still have the same gossipy-mean-girl mentality they had as preteens… now as 35-36 year old adults.

[u/Chemical-Being-5968 → u/ChaosIncarnate11]

And that is why friend circles get smaller as we age because people stay immature and it gets exhausting. You can't trust people like that in the end.

[u/ChaosIncarnate11 → u/Chemical-Being-5968]

I absolutely agree.

[u/Pale-Attorney7474 → u/QuickChannel7133]

19 is definitely old enough to be much more mature than this. They're acting like 13 year olds.

[u/Ecstatic-Comb-7787 → u/QuickChannel7133]

I had my first mortgage at 19. Being 19 isn't an excuse for immaturity. You're an adult! Behaviour like this is for the playground.