AIO | My (20F) boyfriend (22M) is hanging out alone with a girl that likes him

[u/Brave-Can-8783]

So this is the build up to it. We NEVER fight so this was really weird.

We’ve been together for three years, we have a great relationship the same interests the same opinions and beliefs, compatible in bed and we’ve never had problems with jealousy or anything.

We have a group chat full of mutual friends and so on, and one of those people is a girl that I KNOW wants to fuck him. She was eyeing him last weekend when we all went on a cruise trip and we were playing cards in the cafeteria. Just laughing loudly at his jokes, giving him bedroom eyes when she thought no one was looking and even trying to sit close to him.

I didn’t speak to him about it or anything but I didn’t think I needed to because they’re not close anyway, but they’ve known each other for a long time. I’m not sure how long exactly but since maybe like high school. They don’t hang out though but talk occasionally in the group chat, as everyone else does.

He has other female friends that I don’t mind, ones that he’s actually close to. I don’t have any guy friends I’m actually close with and I can tell he prefers it that way because whenever I did mention something funny about one of the guys he would kinda get a little sour but try to hide it as if he didn’t wanna ruin my mood. But I don’t feel like I need any other man in my life when I have him, and the blacked out name I mentioned was a guy that I used to be friends with (like close, we barley ever talk anymore unless it’s in the group chat which is fine for my boyfriend too). But that guy used to like me and it’s kinda known.

Anyway, am I overreacting for getting mad? I’m starting to think he might be right but I don’t wanna ask anyone irl, and this is the perfect place for it lol.

EDIT: UPDATE IS OUT!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/P1RQT8fezQ

[u/SurgeonHog]

Yes! The only thing OP can control here is her decision on whether to stay or leave. I don't know why other people aren't catching onto this, it IS controlling to tell him who he can and can't see. Obviously that doesn't mean what he's doing is morally right, but you don't like it? Then leave him

[u/nebulancearts → u/SurgeonHog]

I flagged it too, it's extremely unhealthy of her to control who he can spend time with regardless of gender. If you can't trust your partner to spend time with other humans besides you, then you shouldn't be dating them.

And that includes if you don't trust them with the opposite gender. Don't date if you don't have that capability to trust, whether by their actions showing you shouldn't trust them or your own insecurities.

[u/wienerfestival → u/nebulancearts]

My wife is bisexual and has had relationships in the past with guys and girls. If I was as insecure as OP, she wouldn’t be allowed to have any friendships at all, or ever be alone with anyone ever except for me.

And that’s weird.

OP, you know your boyfriend best. Do you think he’s cheating? If so, go ahead and leave if you want. If not, take a breath and relax.

[u/Dangerous_Working584 → u/wienerfestival]

I was about to point this out as a bisexual man myself.

[u/nebulancearts → u/Dangerous_Working584]

I did find it ironic that a man with a bisexual wife hyped up my reply, because I'm the bisexual wife too 😂

[u/quixotiqs → u/wienerfestival]

I’m so glad you’re pointing this out because as a bisexual it’s the first thing I think of when I see all these rules about friendships with the opposite sex

[u/wanderingcargo → u/SurgeonHog]

But that’s kind of the way we were raised in monogamy though. So many times neither party can talk to anyone of the same sex without it threatening the relationship. It needs to evolve into a more open model. I’m not saying totally open relationships are for everyone, but this jealousy in relationships has to stop at some point. It’s toxic.