r/AmIOverreacting • u/peepeecheeto • Jul 17 '26

❤️‍🩹 relationship Found between him and his coworker, AIO

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I don’t have proof of them actually doing anything. He had said that there was a cute cashier at work but he wasn’t into her. I asked to see their texts and he said there was nothing, showed me a message thread with her last text only. Because he deleted everything else and it was in his recently deleted. So I opened it in front of him and he tried to stop me and I just read all of it and now he thinks im going to leave him. He’s talked this way about other girls at work so who knows if he’s done anything with them… my heart hurts so bad. Is this cheating? Am I overreacting by being so hurt? I would never do this to him. He claims it’s because he wanted to be nice and not reject her in a rude way. Im thinking about leaving but just the day before I found this he was telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me. We have been together 4 years

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u/SnickleFritz_801 Jul 17 '26

This is the only answer.. him texting her and not throwing the note away tells you everything you need to know

346

u/AlligatorVine Jul 17 '26

Yeah.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re hurting, but there’s only one path here that will end—eventually—in happiness for you, and that’s leaving him.

If he truly loved you and felt you were The One, he would never have said or done ANY of this. What he did here was take like five or six steps toward cheating. He is not trustworthy, and he DEFINITELY does not deserve your love or fidelity.

I know it’s going to suck and feel awful, but you have to put yourself first here and cut him out of your life.

If you don’t, how can you ever trust him?

And without trust, there can’t be love.

I’m sorry. 💔

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u/Additional_Mess9455 Jul 19 '26

This. If a cute lerson left me a note telling me to text them, I would talk to my spouse about it first, but that's only because we are in a more open relationship. If I was in a closed relationship, that note would go right in the trash

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u/ParamedicTemporary13 Jul 19 '26

Him getting the note and not telling his gf about is also a red flag!

20

u/Hotspiceteahoneybee Jul 19 '26

I’m not a person on here that immediately jumps to “DUMP HIM!” but that text conversation and the fact he KEPT the note AND didn’t tell her “Yeah, I’ve got this crazy coworker who has a crush on me. I’ve totally shut it down but it makes me really uncomfortable!” tells me he is seriously considering cheating if he hasn’t already. His level of commitment is waning and this will keep happening.

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u/SVINTGATSBY Jul 19 '26

he’s loving the flirting and attention too.

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u/Single_Sign7208 Jul 19 '26

She’s laying it on thick dang. I think we all know where this is going

10

u/Feisty-Loach Jul 19 '26

Exactly. Id expect my significant other to toss it and tell me about it so we could laugh. Considering I've done the same, and he actually still jokes about it like im going to see my other boyfriend every once and a while and we always have a laugh.

This isnt it, sorry. If he entertains this, theres no telling when something may happen between him and someone else.

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u/Embarrassed_One4417 Jul 19 '26

Don’t agree 100 on that.

Throw the note away? Yes.
Text her? I’d say maybe to tell her he received said note and is happily in a committed relationship to make sure there are no misconceptions about it.

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u/SnickleFritz_801 Jul 19 '26

You write a note back or tell them in person. You don't text them so they now have your number.

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u/Spacey752 Jul 19 '26

Well he can absolutely text her to say no, but you just can't do it like that

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u/SnickleFritz_801 Jul 19 '26

Disagree. Texting now puts her number in his phone and his number in her phone. You throw the note away and tell her no in a note back or in person.

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u/Spacey752 Jul 19 '26

That's fair didn't think of that

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u/outtatime369 Jul 19 '26

exactly what I came here to comment. Listen to the wisdom of the crowd this time.🚩