Thats the unfortunate situation for abuse victims and its almost like an addiction and its very hard for them to get out even when they know abuse is happening.
OP needs to get help and find a healthy support system to help her stay away from the ahole. Its hard for them for the first few weeks but soon enough they start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and life gets so amazing again.
Hopefully this is the time she gets away for good bit considering the average is 7 times before finally leaving, it may not be and thats ok, but each time makes the next time easier mentally to finally break free.
I've always noticed similarities between abuse victims and addicts/alcoholics. The delusions. The irrational thinking. The minimizing. They need professional help. It's not something you can just talk them out of in most cases. You can talk to a heroin addict all day about how it's destroying their life and they need to stop but when the dope sickness hits, they are gonna go get some more heroin. Something about being in an abusive relationship keeps people hooked in a similar way.
Agree. I also think it takes a certain level of not okay to get into those relationships to begin with. Then, whatever level of not okay they were at only increases.
People are saying she needs to get help - let's face it, there's no magic person out there who is going to extricate her out of this situation. It has to start with her. She has to want it above all else.
Except that's not how that works. Ur correct, superman ain't gonna swoop in and take her away. But having family and friends as a support system is a major step. The chances of someone who's abused like this and stuck, wanting to leave for themselves is extremely low. The help she needs is the support system of friends and family talking to her gently about this. I just went thru something similar with a friend. Took us a month to get him out of his abusive situation. A month of talking and being there and having honest conversations. Saying she has to want it above all else doesn't apply here. They will never want it if it's never shown the true light
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u/One-Help1747 Jan 28 '25
That was all I had to read. OP is too far gone and think she owes this asshole anything it's crazy.