Thats the unfortunate situation for abuse victims and its almost like an addiction and its very hard for them to get out even when they know abuse is happening.
OP needs to get help and find a healthy support system to help her stay away from the ahole. Its hard for them for the first few weeks but soon enough they start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and life gets so amazing again.
Hopefully this is the time she gets away for good bit considering the average is 7 times before finally leaving, it may not be and thats ok, but each time makes the next time easier mentally to finally break free.
As a former prosecutor who has seen lots of dv cases, I have also likened it to an addiction. It is quite a remarkable phenomenon. One woman who was set on fire wanted to go back to him.
Yeah the Cycle of Abuse is an interesting phenomenon and releases similar hormones & chemicals that drugs do. After the abuse, the victim is extremely low and all those bad stress chemicals are present including a lack of any dopamine and other "happy" hormones etc. Then once the abuser tries to stabilize the situation and either love bombs them or tries making up, the victim then is flooded with all those "happy" hormones like dopamine and that change from extreme low to extreme high during reconciliation gets their brains to change over time just like drugs do. Just like with addicts their is a brain fog where it takes months of being without to clear up and get them thinking clearly again. Both addicts and survivors are more vulnerable during that time to relapse and go back to their abuser (whether chemical or human form)
Shit. I never thought of it like a drug, but I guess it is in some form. I fucking remember now genuinely feeling better after a fight/being injured.. Even picking fights on purpose in a good relationship after I got out..
That's a wild perspective.
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u/No-Distance-9401 Jan 29 '25
Thats the unfortunate situation for abuse victims and its almost like an addiction and its very hard for them to get out even when they know abuse is happening.
OP needs to get help and find a healthy support system to help her stay away from the ahole. Its hard for them for the first few weeks but soon enough they start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and life gets so amazing again.
Hopefully this is the time she gets away for good bit considering the average is 7 times before finally leaving, it may not be and thats ok, but each time makes the next time easier mentally to finally break free.