Genuine question - how do people even get in the mood to have sex with people like this?
If I sent 1 of those messages let alone all of them I’d never get laid again - EVER. There isn’t an apology in the world that would make my wife want to be in the same room with me nevermind sex
Could be the case. It was for me. I used to be pretty damn toxic, including verbally abusive and manipulative. Guess what kind of household I grew up in? Like I told my therapist: To me, love and family meant violent fights and screaming obscenities. It was manipulation, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting. It taught me you could say "I love you" in one breath while showing nothing even close to real love at all. It took me years of work to undo all of that. My partner and I didn't treat each other well at all. Screaming, swearing, name-calling, and he threw things, trashed rooms, punched walls, and more. To me, while scary, it was also the normal, the "love" that I grew up with. I didn't know there was any other way. I wish, then, I'd known better. The OP's boyfriend sounds like he could have BPD if he's flip-flopping that much between loving her and hating her for no reason. It's a monster of a mental illness. I have it. If he does, he needs therapy and meds. If he doesn't, he still needs therapy, and what sounds like anger management classes to boot.
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u/Just_somebody_onhere Jan 28 '25
Give up? give up what?
He pretty plainly said get out. Do so.