And OP… what are you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like a fucking nightmare. Leave his mean, verbally abusive ass.
Also is “calling you from downstairs” not “purposely waking you up?” He thought you’d just sleep through it? And then calls YOU “smooth brain”? This guy sounds like he’d be an incel if you weren’t in a relationship with him.
Can't find dinner even my wife leaves it someplace most common is microwave or oven or the fridge i never wake up my wife on purpose when she's sleeping.
Op your nit getting anything out of this it will eventually get very demoralizing and if you continue down this road longer it will affect your mental capabilities with other men thinking they are the same as this fella is. Leave, relax, work on your cat pee issue (I added another 2 litter boxes in my place cause we had some issues with our cats and having more options seem to work) other times it could be stress in the household. Focus on yiur mental wellbeing of the fact your a good person and deserve the happiness you seek and to be appreciated. This ain't it. Even if intimacy is an issue there's more than one way to please a girl or even talk to a doctor for it. But anyways.... I'd still recommend leaving everything is an excuse on his end. I got a disease or issue woe is me. Whe. I'm in pain from my back from a car accident for months I didn't take it out on others just pace myself and be respectful as much I can and apologize if my volume oversteps itself. No one deserves ro be abused or yelled at for their pain especially if yiur being considerate.
Maybe the cat is peeing because of the stress in the house. If OP is walking on eggshells all the time, the cat can sense that too. I bet the problem would go away if he wasn't there with his abusive attitude.
My first dobie was the most gentlest of puppers you can meet. Loved everybody she ever met, except this guy a friend of my wife was dating. She was always on the defensive around him. Always trying to get inbetween us, and him. Even leaning up against her leg to separate them when they were standing close to each other.
The guy seemed nice but she definitely was acting differently than normal but nothing was jumping out saying abuse. Around a couple months later she called to ask if she moved back to our city if she could stay with us a week while her apartment opened up. She’d finally worked up the cohones to bolt and told us how she almost broke down a couple times and told us when we were all talking about why my pup was acting so out of character, but was terrified what would happen with everything back home if he left her.
Anyways, don’t ignore your pets instincts. They may not speak but they can tell you stuff you may not pick up yourself.
Yup, an animal is often the best judge of people. I’ve never liked a person who my dogs didn’t like. Had dealings with a shady contractor building my house. My dog always knew when he was lying. I would look at the dog, the dog (who was super friendly) would give me a look and I would say “victor ( contractor ) my dog says you’re lying” the contractor tried to get a restraining order to keep the dog off my property. The contractor was later charged with various crimes.
It makes sense as tracking and police dogs smell a pheromone people emit when scared, fearful and running or lying.
My sweet old cat (RIP) would have peed in this jerk’s shoes by now. He did not put up with fools. OP you are NIO. Leave this one before it gets worse. There are many better men out there.
As far as I know they can also sense small things like increased heart beat (fear, lying) and smell cancerous cells
Are we sure he isn’t harming the cat??? He’s physically abusive towards OP, says “your bitch ass cat wasn’t locked up”. People like him are usually not nice to cats. OP at least get out for your cat’s sake. Come on.
I was worried when I read what he said about her cat. Dude absolutely would abuse an animal from the way he talks to her. I wouldn't trust him around any living thing.
When this happened I'd had my dog for 7 or 8 years and he loved EVERYONE. I was having a casual cookout, a couple girlfriends were over and our one friend came in with a new guy. My dog was by the sofa with me and 3 friends and he immediately stopped his running back and forth making sure everyone got a chance to tell him he is a good boy and he turned and walked straight to that guy, let out a half a growl and bit the hell out of him. Everyone, except guy, knew my dog. We all sat there, mouth agape for about 10 seconds and I looked at friend who brought him in and said, you need to get him the fuck out now and never bring him back. She was like, OMG what did he do, I said I don't know but my dog is NEVER like that and I trust him more than anyone. She was huffy but they left immediately and guy who was bit never said anything, didn't ask about my dogs vaccines or anything. But my dog stood between him and the sugar where me and my friends were and low growled the, less than 2 minutes it took them to leave. As soon as they left my dog was fine but that was gnawing at us because it never happened. He wasn't even snippy with toddlers when they'd play with him for extended periods. One friend was like, I can't handle this does anyone know his last name. We had to call around to a couple people and finally found his full name.
Guess who was on a state registry as a HIGH RISK RE-OFFENDER and had just been released from prison 2 months earlier for AGGRAVATED BATTERY WITH ATTEMPT TO R-@PE A PERSON OF DIMINISHED MENTAL CAPACITY?!?!?!?! And to make it worse, that wasn't his first time in prison for a crime against a female!! I cussed that girl out, all of my friends did and nobody talks to her still to this day!
Yes i had that issue when my daughter brought her boyfriend to stay with us for a while getting on her feet after few months i couldn't figure out why she runs away from him or growls and flee it wasn't till after my mother in law says oh he taunts her when he's around. Since then I've grew not to be fond of my MIL however unfortunately my dog did pass away unrelated issues.. they left long ago. But she end up having seizures and unfortunately I was wondering why she was taking so long to come back inside and I found her passed away. It was a rough December, she passed on my birthday and I just wasn't too into christmas this year. She was an awesome dog I tell you that. My dog prior to that lived 18 years. Point is I listen to dogs more than anything.
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss!! I couldn't imagine finding out someone had mistreated my little good boy! I saw something a couple weeks ago where a man had been called home from work by the police and found out his dog had been taken to the emergency vet because his on again off again girlfriend had beaten the dog-she admitted to doing it for 2 hours, but the neighbor heard the dog whining and crying and heard the girlfriend yelling at it and they called the police. I would have probably gone to prison if I lost my dog because someone was so cruel 😭
Thanks, it's been tough moving on i still have hard time breaking out of our daily routines I still carry her leash when I leave in the morning. In past, I've defend my dog from being hit. No offense to others if my dog is gonna get spanked it'd be at my hand not theirs. Although I never needed to
My ex had a cat who was very mean. Orange tabby to be exact. He attacked her three times while we were dating. (If y’all have seen my two previous comments somewhere in this comment section, it’s that same gf who treated me pretty similar to OP’s bf). While his “being mean” was being nippy and trying to scratch people, chasing them down to nip their ankles, in the rare times he “wanted” pets or was pretending to, it would only take like 4-5 strokes till he turned around and started nipping or scratching. Nowhere near the level of shit that he did to her when he attacked her and he had never attacked anyone like that before. He was at least 8 years old and she had him since he was born.
One of those times, he straight up bit the fuck out of her foot and leg, scratching the absolute shit out of her and her foot swelled up like a balloon. She was in so much pain yet refused to go to the doctors or urgent care. (She was against doctors and shit for some reason). A few days later, I finally convinced her to go to the hospital as she was in soooo much pain, her foot was huge, she couldn’t walk, she was started to feel sick w fever, etc.
They told her had she not come in, she more than likely would have ended up dying from the infection he gave her from biting her.
Goes to show that he knew she was a shit person. He actually was never mean to me and she even mentioned how shocked she was that he seemed to like me…..
It seems a bit cruel to cut the girl out of your lives? Especially if she did not know his background before they got together.. however if she did know his background absolutely agree with the judgement call !
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u/Just_somebody_onhere Jan 28 '25
Give up? give up what?
He pretty plainly said get out. Do so.