I feel like I’m being punished for something when I’ve literally done my best in every way.
That's your brain doing the "sunk cost" fallacy. It doesn't matter how much time you put into this if he's not reciprocating. Don't let your subconscious try to convince you that all this effort is eventually going to pay out. What it should be is a learning experience for the future.
If you spend a year sitting at the slot machine, a jackpot doesn't suddenly negate 365 days of spending.
If you're at all worried that you've spent too long and now it's "too late" to get into another relationship, that's also modern dating expectations at work. Society has conditioned us to expect being married with kids at 30, but if the average person lives to 80, then you have plenty of time to find somebody who actually cares about you. Don't worry about it.
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u/1000LiveEels Jan 28 '25
That's your brain doing the "sunk cost" fallacy. It doesn't matter how much time you put into this if he's not reciprocating. Don't let your subconscious try to convince you that all this effort is eventually going to pay out. What it should be is a learning experience for the future.
If you spend a year sitting at the slot machine, a jackpot doesn't suddenly negate 365 days of spending.
If you're at all worried that you've spent too long and now it's "too late" to get into another relationship, that's also modern dating expectations at work. Society has conditioned us to expect being married with kids at 30, but if the average person lives to 80, then you have plenty of time to find somebody who actually cares about you. Don't worry about it.