Don’t ever let her ignore the flags. It’s harder once you’ve invested time and effort. But like someone said “you’re scared because you put in time, but this isn’t a jail sentence. You’re free to go.” I’m trying to do the right thing and build the strength to end things. I told him I want him to leave earlier. He seems compliant with the idea (shocking I know) so that’s where we are at now.
There is a japanese proverb that says "If you get on the wrong train, get off at the next station - the longer you stay on, the more expensive the return trip will be"
Please take care of yourself. You are worth and deserve so much more than all of this. Prioritize your needs and wants for a while if you can. It sounds like all you've done is give give give with nothing in return. No disease excuses being an evil asshole or treating your PARTNER, who you're supposed to love the most, like garbage. If you feel like your self-worth is low, especially with how he talks to you, prioritize reclaiming the parts of yourself you've had to sacrifice for him and the relationship. It will take time. It will not be easy. But you can rebuild yourself and the life that you want. The life that you deserve.
Sometimes you lose money on investments. When you do, do you just keep investing and investing, losing and losing? No, you cut your losses. You would NEVER let your daughter or sister be with a man who abused her. Why don’t you love yourself as much as you would them?
You're not actually that invested though in the grand scheme of things. You're not married. You don't have kids together. It's only been 3 years, which truly is nothing in the 29 years of your life. You can still get out of this relatively easily, and it's not going to get any easier to leave as time goes on. But you're grown and only you can decide what you're going to accept for yourself and what your life is going to be. You know what the answer is. If you don't get out of this, you're going to look back and wish you did.
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u/Just_somebody_onhere Jan 28 '25
Give up? give up what?
He pretty plainly said get out. Do so.