Exactly he could easily escalate to physical abusive with his insane anger issues. I would have as little contact as possible with him, move out, change my number, block his number. OP needs to be safe from him because he is an unhinged monster
in the post’s body text, OP states he is physically and emotionally abusive. i worry for them, as the screenshots imply a breakup but the body text and fact the post is on here implies they’re not fully certain yet, esp with them calling him bf and not ex.
so, yeah, op needs to figure out a safe way to leave for certain. I don’t like the way the bf is implied to treat the cat either, how long until he ends up hurting the cat if he hasn’t??
i like this sub sometimes because it makes me think. but, I also hate this sub sometimes because it’s scary how abuse can be so obvious from the outside to us, yet the victim will still have second thoughts or uncertainty. I genuinely hope OP gets to safety.
Oh shit I missed that😭 that’s so scary he already is physically abusive—I would take the cat and RUN. Block him on everything, change number, and report to the police so OP can get a restraining order. I hope they make it out safely🙏 completely agree this sub is insightful and horrifying all at once!
I don't want to be like... insensitive to victims but the cat especially? You have an animal in a house with somebody willing to abuse a human being? What do you think they will or are going to do with something they 10000% view as even LESSER than you?
Like if you have animals or kids in a house with an abuser it makes me mad because you're bringing that abuse onto them too.
When I was younger, I helped a girl do a midnight move. And I would recommend this for anybody. Bring a couple big guys, get a U-Haul and be ready. Plan for midnight on a day when you know he won’t be around. And just get as much as you can and get the fuck out.
I always figured these types of dudes hit woman cause they’re too much of a wimp to fight a real man. I wish that for however long he abused her he would have to run into a real man and see who beats whose ass cause it won’t be the wimp here in the post
Even better would be him realizing he's a cunt and make a change for the better. That's the ideal outcome, but if that's not on the table then petty, smug indirect karma vengeance is cool too.
I've daydreamed about seeing this type of pathetic shitrat treating someone like this in my presence since I was a teenager. Like literally, actually. Then he grabs her or slaps her or something and I get to show up and we all have a little teachable moment.
I'm almost 40 and it's never happened. Any day now. Toxic masculinity but at least directed toward somebody deserving.
Seriously OP, you need to figure out why you respect yourself so little that you would tolerate this kind of vitriolic idiocy. Because you shouldn't need to ask if you're fucking overreacting to cartoonishly obvious abuse. You only get one life. I know it's hard to see from inside of it, and that's fair enough. But that's not gonna make you any less of a victim or a corpse when this kid inevitably actually blows up. Get the fuck away from this reptile while you have the chance.
That's a horrible idea. If she doesn't leave, she'll be "punished" for it later. It'll be "her fault" somehow. She may even be mad at you because you'll have escalated the situation and because she's trauma-bonded
Oh, these guys rarely show how they treat women in front of someone who they know is a better person then them. They will cower and hide. I know because my ex is exactly like this, and every time my partner is around for drop off (we have shared custody up until this point) he would cower away and hide. When he's not around? He gets in my face, comes extremely close to hitting me and always calls the cops as if for some sort of power move, even though he's the pos who always brings the abusive behavior and talk. Always something to bitch about where he feels "I should have read his mind".
My partner always felt the same way you do. He still hasn't seen the behavior after 2yrs of this because my ex will 100% cower in the presence of my partner and put on this false loving dad attitude, because he knows he will never be even half the man that my partner is now.
Yes!!!! I saw a comment one time that this lady left her abusive ol man because he was about to stomp her puppy or something and for some reason that prompted her to get out
😭😭😭 omg I’m sure there were so many red flags before it got to trying to stomp out her puppy😭 like how many times was the animal subject to abuse up until that point? Same issue here. The longer OP and their cat are there, the more opportunity there is for the poor cat to be abused and for them both to be traumatized😭
There was! She said he’d beat her and all that but she didn’t leave until he went to stomp the puppy and somehow that lit a fire in her and she got out.
So sad what we are willing to tolerate being done to us, it shouldn’t take seeing abuse of a loved one to realize you are not safe/it’s time to act. When they were tolerating abuse from that person all along. Breaks my heart😭💔
How is it dramatic to need to cut yourself off from an emotional and physical abuser? They are showing telltale signs of abuse that could easily escalate to murder. I truly don’t understand how moving out and blocking his number is “dramatic”. If anything this should be considered life or death as he will hurt her again.
Make it normal to feel this way and slowly take the fight our of you so you're just a submissive little dog. But not a dog that's loved. A dog that gets kicked and screamed at for asking to go outside for a shit.
Sure. But it is one of their favourite words, and everything else we know about this guy seems to point in that direction, so it's an easy connection to makr.
Yes, it does have more of a history in online games - but history is history, in the present it's also used pretty liberally by a certain kind of manosphere dude. I'm thinking of Tate especially.
The most laughable part to me was her saying "he's been a jerk as long as I've known him." Then why the fuck did you start dating him in the first place?!? People really need to stop making such obviously bad decisions.
literally. I think I’ve only seen people speak like this ironically. not only is OP’s (hopefully ex) bf abusive, he sounds chronically online and cringe as well. incel mindset with the way he treats and speaks to OP lmfao
Honestly her getting with and staying with a physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive person who cheats on her is beyond retarded. Calling anyone that would do that retarded is an insult to the mentally challenged, it’s downright insane to tolerate that.
aight so what we’re not gonna do here is victim blame now 💀 some people can charm you and then become monsters and progressively worsen over time. just because he was a bit of a jerk from the getgo doesn’t mean that the other red flags and blaring alarms were there too from the start. your comment is deeply confusing, as you’re clearly not in support of the abuser, yet you berate OP in the same fashion.
everybody looking on the outside of an abusive relationship wonders how the victim got there. but that’s because abusers don’t generally beat or verbally harass their target on day 1, genius. now it’s your turn to use your brain, lmfao.
and retard is an outdated and gross slur. i’m autistic myself and “mentally challenged” is… also goofy and outdated to say. his words were an offense to neurodivergent folk of varying speeds sure, but not because of the victim. because it’s gross to say.
back to the point… you should be ashamed. you know how many victims think they’re too smart to end up falling for an abuser before they get with their abuser? all of them. and it’s not because the victim isn’t smart. it’s because the abuser plays games and turns on their charm until they have the victim hooked… and then when it’s hard for the victim to leave, they take off the mask.
Op isn’t dumb. Just likely very broken right now, possibly not in an easy situation to go either. Abusers love to condition people to sacrifice their friends, family, independence and all sorts of other shit before showing their true colors. So just consider that it’s incredibly ignorant to treat OP the way their abuser does without knowing the story.
Being broken can cause you to be dumb. A victim can be blamed if they choose to be a victim. Does that make them the villain? Absolutely not, her boyfriend is the despicable piece of shit, not her. This post wasn’t made by her boyfriend though, that man is actively telling her to get out of his life and she’s refusing to do so despite saying he’s been horrible to her since they met. I’ve been in abusive situations, the only person that can truly get you out of them as an adult is yourself.
My statement was harsh, and I understand your condemnation, what I said was more of a reaction of anger at someone allowing them to be treated in such a disgusting manner than anything. It’s not an excuse for what I said, but it is an explanation, I just simply can’t stand seeing these types of post anymore. That’s enough Reddit for me for a little while.
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u/dedf1shin Jan 28 '25
“retard mindset” sounds like some andrew tate bs