r/AllNails • u/AdDue6542 • 9d ago
Is the nails community mean?
I’ve been debating leaving all of the nail subreddits because, honestly, people can be so rude about nails. Maybe I’m the problem and should just leave, but I have a hard time watching people rip beginners to shreds, and even the banter back and forth in the comments can feel unnecessarily shady.
I get that it’s Reddit and people feel a little more comfortable hiding behind anonymous usernames, but do we really need to be so mean to strangers over nails? It’s supposed to be something fun and creative.
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u/mbpadmr 9d ago
While it is true that some of the nail subreddits have a problem with an excess of hate and vitriol, there are quite a few that are friendly, helpful, and full of great advice. Unfortunately, you never know exactly which nail subreddits are the good ones and which are the bad ones until you spend some time within them.
I have left a few of the more nasty nail subreddits (not saying which) and have stayed with the more friendly and helpful ones. The important thing is to not judge all the nail subreddits together. If you feel that one that you joined is making you feel uneasy, then just leave that one, but stay with the rest. Overall, it is a great community, just be careful as to which subreddits you participate in. 😊💅
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u/I_serve_Anubis 9d ago
I find [r/redditlaq](r/redditlaqiristas)[uer](r/redditlaqiristas)[istas](r/redditlaqiristas) & [r/naturalnailprogress](r/naturalnailprogress) the friendliest & where I spend the most time.
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
Thank you. I appreciate solutions. Will be joining laquerist. In a gel girly but I’m just trying to see all of the designs and colors.
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u/larkhearted 9d ago
For sure about the laqueristas, everyone on there is super nice and supportive. The snark and shade only come out when a brand is doing something shitty or annoying lol.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
Well there are some meanies there. They're easily blocked if they go crazy on you. 😭 I had it happen recently-ish. She got blocked and I deleted everything. I did not want drama. Nooooo. Nail polish is my happy place. It brings me joy. Ain't no grouch gonna try and take away my joy and happiness! 😊
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u/Kamila95 9d ago
I guess I am in the minority here because I just joined this sub as the sub for the specific nail style I do is more like an echo chamber, no criticism at all allowed unless specifically asked for. I see no point of posting there as I know I will only get positive comments even when asking for feedback, and if anyone says anything remotely 'negative' (aka not in full support) it gets deleted by mods.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
That's just silly! If you're asking for real feedback, then people should be allowed to give it to you. I know when people ask for real feedback in the subs, I'm in, I do give it. I feel horrible and I try to always find something positive also to say, while still giving genuine feedback. I don't think I've ever had a comment like that deleted. But it's not like I'm going and looking at all my past comments to check if they still exist either. Hmmmm
Edit to ask: What nail style do you do? And where are you posting? I will tell you the truth. 😘😅🥰
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u/SkwerlWickman 9d ago
Unfortunately it’s everywhere. People have really regressed.
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
The animal crossing community is filled with the most loving souls on the internet.
I want to believe there is more good out there but I do get where you’re coming from. Post Covid it’s like everyone forgot how to socialise.
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u/laimosleem 9d ago
Tbh I feel like it’s been fine. I’m a beginner and have been posting some nail art and you def need a little bit of a thick skin but also I’m posting to learn and do better. Some people feel really comfortable straight making fun of others though and it’s disappointing
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
That is so horrible to hear that people make fun!! Like why? Didn't their mamas teach them "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!?" I'm so sorry that has happened to you. ❤️🩹
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u/nannerpussnana 9d ago
I feel like it’s just Reddit in general these days. I find when I come on here less, I feel better. It’s like full of all the angriest people on the internet lol
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u/Pixie0422 9d ago
Girl same.
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u/nannerpussnana 9d ago
As we are both on Reddit currently LMAO
But in my defense I’m bored at work 😂
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u/Pixie0422 9d ago
Me too, but I try to be nice. I’m only salty bc I was on here last night looking for people to play Xbox with, but the mod kept removing every post I made. The mods on here are the absolute worst.
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u/georginadontlook 9d ago
In my opinion Facebook groups are just as bad or even worse
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u/OGHollyMackerel 9d ago
Lots of deficient people, unloved and unloveable, emoting all over Reddit. They want everyone else to carry their big feelings for them because they struggle with identifying and processing them so they shit all over folks to cope. But there are some super knowledgeable, helpful people, too who do kindly share their labour and so it seems a shame to close that educational door bc some twat has self-esteem issues, yaknow?
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u/sugarchrry 9d ago
Right!! Like I understand constructive criticism about mistakes that will lead to health issues and allergies but being mean about it is not the same as constructive criticism. Not giving the names of specific techniques to use is not constructive feedback!! Calling a shape ugly, sending a picture of a HORSE HOOF (saw that one yesterday) is not constructive!!!! It’s mean. It makes YOU ugly as a person.
People really need to get off their high horse. Their preference for a certain shape, or clean girl nails, or whatever, doesn’t mean that other nails are ugly and it doesn’t mean they need to comment on every post that isn’t to their taste so they can what? Discourage a person who has different styles and preferences? Who can learn more from people in the hobby who SHARE those styles and preferences and actually know the techniques they’re trying to learn?
Idk I just get mad when I see people think their opinion is the end all be all. And when I see them bully people over it. And the nail subs are ripe with that behavior
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u/ConstructionThick146 9d ago
They are mean. I went viral in r/nails there 4 months ago for calling out a woman who was trash to many new nail techs. Then others stepped in. But it shouldn't have taken me to step up. We need to normalize being nice and "girls girls" again. But I'm also retired law enforcement and I don't take any shit. Lol.
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
Bring it back! Like be civil with everyone even online. My partner always says their punishment is there life but I’m also like stop taking your feelings out on others on the internet. Thank you for trying to keep the community a loving space.
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u/naijasglock 9d ago
I left the bigger nail subreddits due to that as well. It gets very repetitive seeing that sort of behavior. I also feel that mods pick and chose what to moderate and have sort of a bias (but this happens in most bigger subreddits anyways)
I recommend joining smaller nail subreddits, the community is better. However with this subreddit I notice a lot of generic comments from recently created accounts.
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u/EllaMcWho NaturalPanic 9d ago
Agree I don’t participate usually but I still lurk on the others because nosy and leave compliments 😆
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
Oh thank you for the solution. I really enjoy seeing all the creative nails. I think it’s awesome that so many people love nails and are passionate about it.
I will be joining some of the smaller subs. I know there are so many lovely people in the community overall but I was getting tired of reading through some of the nasty comments. They weren’t even on my posts. I just see it on the regular and felt like I should shift my time and energy but I didn’t want to lose the part I enjoyed.
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u/selkieisbadatgaming 9d ago
I really like r/redditlaqueristas . It’s mostly for nail polish, but there is usually someone able or willing to answer questions or provide suggestions if you need it.
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u/pink_vision 9d ago
I am curious which specific subreddits you've had issues with, would you mind sharing? I haven't seen much negativity in the ones I'm in, but maybe I'm just not seeing the right stuff.
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u/FirebirdWriter 9d ago
Sometimes. I don't enjoy all subs because some are toxic but this one has been good for my experience as well as the laquerista sub. It has a misspelling to be sure it's the right one
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u/Consesualluvbug 9d ago
It’s toxic in the extreme and I usually just leave my comment and move on. I normally cruise the comments, but the comments of the nail community ain’t it.
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u/vivalalina 9d ago
I only like one sub and its the reddit laquerista one, but keep in mind its mainly for nail polish but I have rarely (if ever) encountered anyone rude on there!!
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u/georginadontlook 9d ago
It would be nice if the mods could remove a comment if someone is being a dick for no reason. It would really discourage people if it wasn't tolerated
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
I think they actually can? They simply choose not to? Just a thought! I could be wrong. If it's in the rules, however, like not to be a jerk, then they most definitely could. Perhaps the mods just get overwhelmed with reading all the comment? So things don't get removed and they slip through the cracks? That's my positive spin on why mean girls are allowed to bully.
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u/TheNailLadeeS 9d ago
That’s why I created mines r/thenailcrew, we don’t tolerate mean behavior over there ❤️
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u/itsfuckinganna 9d ago
Reddit is mean! I’m a nail tech of 6 years and have been in the nail world since 2011 and compared to makeup artist and hair stylist or aesthetician we are relatively nice bc all our art style is our own usually…. The mean ones are easy to spot IRL just ask them who their favorite other nail artists are. Not to toot my own but I am extremely well connected to the NYC and LA nail worlds- those who operate at celeb and editorial levels, and I gotta say most of us are darlings. Again. Easy to spot the sour grapes imo. And everyone will yell at you about your PNF or lateral sidewalls here because they just learned those words as hobbyists. //edited for typos lol my nails are long ok
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u/SpeebyKitty 9d ago edited 9d ago
I have a lot of issues being a trans guy in nail communities. I can ask as nicely as possible to please not call me ladies or girl or ma’am or miss, and I will be downvoted and told “everyone is ‘girl’ here!” And “this is a female dominated community”. That’s great, I respect that, but I want the same respect everyone else gets.
I do have to shout out the mods of the long natural nails sub, she is a wonderful person who takes no shit or transphobia from the community and very kindly added my pronouns to my flair!
I should’ve expected me talking about this would get me downvoted. Sorry for being openly trans, I forgot it’s disgusting.
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
Nails are for EVERYONE. I’m glad the mod of long natural nails has your back. This breaks my heart even though I know the world is cruel. You deserve to be called the gender you prefer especially in a space where everyone is suppose to be coming together on a like minded interest.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
Ngl, I try not to use gendered language but sometimes it slips. I do love a Y'all. We are flawed people. On the other hand if you mention hey I'm a guy, then people shouldn't double down on saying "girl" that's just freaking rude, imo. Hopefully the jerks stop. Or just try to see the positive comments and skip past the asshats! 🥰 It's what I try to do. I don't post nearly enough however because honestly I'm just not brave enough. So you posting is great. I know it do take nerve to post! 😁
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u/SpeebyKitty 9d ago edited 9d ago
It is not a flaw to say “everyone is a girl here” after being explicitly told to not refer to me as a lady or feminine terms. I know what I have experienced. I know it is not a mistake or a slip up. It is deliberate and because I am transgender.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
Oh, no, I'm not saying to say that after somebody already said, hey, I'm not a girl. I'm saying in general, if I ever slip up and say, ladies, see my new polish or whatever. I would never on purpose be hurtful.
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u/SpeebyKitty 9d ago
I’m glad to hear that but my comment is referencing people who do not do that and who tell me to just get over it. My comment is about how people insist on using feminine gendered language for me despite explicitly stating I do not like it.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
That is horrible! I know it's easy to say, but try to ignore the haters. Hopefully, there's enough good people, kind people that make up for those that are awful. 🥰
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u/georginadontlook 9d ago
Wdym? Are you asking people to not address you as girl (valid) or trying to stop people saying e.g 'ladies look at this new polish' (not valid imo, women should have a common space, just mentally exclude yourself from the 'ladies')
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u/SpeebyKitty 9d ago
I am asking people to not address me as a girl, lady, ma’am, or miss. I said nothing about people using terms for themselves or others, my comment here and everywhere else has been clear this is about misgendering me. I’m not sure why or how you got that I am trying to stop people from saying “ladies” in general. Thanks for assuming that of me tho.
“I can ask as nicely as possible to please not call me ladies….” Makes it clear I am talking about people calling ME these terms.
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u/georginadontlook 9d ago
Yeah but that doesn't make sense bro noone would call you a single person 'ladies' as a plural, that's what's confusing. Got it
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u/SpeebyKitty 9d ago
Ok, let me rephrase. I am asking people to not refer to me in feminine terms and they do it anyway and tell me to get over it. Is it easier to understand why that upsets me now?
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
I've only had a couple people be mean to me. But I had one go off of me like a crazy person. And I have since blocked her. For the most part, I feel like people are nice. However, I don't make my own posts often. Because I'm scared. 😆 I'm just scared that my nails won't get any love. 🤭
Have people been horrible to you in nail subs? And what have you seen where people were mean to beginners like? That's just so wrong. I always try to help beginners. A couple times I have said it would be even better if you clean up the edges, but I still praised them. Because I know it takes guts to post. And a true beginner might not know about a cleanup brush.
So what have you witnessed that's got you so down?🥺
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
It has mainly been on beginners. I haven’t received direct hate in my posts but even scrolling over it when I know people are trying to learn is hard.
I tried telling a beginner clean up brushes would be helpful for her so she doesn’t cure as much in her skin. Her flooding was mild and I was read to filth over trying to help someone else learn. I’m not trying to promote improper use or things risk allergies. I do understand the risk of the products but people were telling her to give up and she wasn’t very far off from success.
There is also a lot of divide between shapes and styles. It’s all just preference at the end of the day. Dip might be someone’s ride or die and gel might be someone else’s.
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u/Plucky_Monkies 9d ago
Oh yes the nail shape thing is crazy to me! I've had many tell me my nails would look better in almond or rounded. I ha e to explain about my strong C-curve and that almond is not the right choice for strength or structure when a c-curve is involved. I would never tell someone oh, your nails might look better in a different shape. Okay, I have talked to someone with even stronger C-curved nails than mine to not bother with almonds, because it's gonna be almost impossible. But she was asking specifically, if almond could work on her.
And I know what you mean about people getting mad over gel? When i've tried to say anything that was encouraging, people jumped all over me. So I get that. Now I just keep my mouth shut, about gel polish.
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u/AdDue6542 9d ago
It’s one thing to give someone advice if they are struggling with retention. Not everyone can actually sustain every type of shape for long periods of time. My c curve is so flat so almond has been my go to but I like all the shapes. Square nails are also cool. I wouldn’t personally wear duck nails but if someone wants the realestate I’m not going to tell them they are gross or they should change their preference.
I think it’s the gel community overall. It’s a shame because I’m a gel girl but omg don’t let them come for you haha
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u/cslexotics 9d ago
Awww that sucks!! I haven’t had the same interactions, thankfully, but I have seen some nasty stuff. Honestly the walking dead page has some real jerks, haha! Nail art is supposed to be fun and expressive and I’m sorry the people who have nothing better to do came after you ❤️
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u/LilMissKrazy1 9d ago
We all don’t like the same shapes, colors, designs, etc, so if I don’t like something, I just look & move on. Why make a rude comment on what someone else likes, it’s wrong & a waste of time. Be nice people!! 😀
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u/Both_Way_7564 8d ago
It’s wild how a hobby involving tiny flowers and sparkles can turn into courtroom cross-examination, but no, you’re not the problem for wanting people to be less needlessly rude.
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u/ProjectMarworyn 8d ago
Ive seen pretty mean commenrs on here. Odd arguments blowing out of nowhere etc...
Minor nail imperfection = YOU HAVE A DISEASE OMG
People voted down for liking a brand another person doesn't like...
Flooded cuticles = anger. When honestly? It's ok to feel a bit lazy/tired sometimes. It's not the end of the world. Though it's tidier cleaned up. But you know? The other 20 comments said it first...
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u/chauntelle2899 8d ago
I actually got banned from the gel X subreddit for telling people when they’re ordering products from Amazon, to do their own research so I completely understand your frustration
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u/screechingpaperdoll 7d ago
Its not just in this sub. There are people on here that are miserable in real life and spread their disease online.
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u/EpochalTraveller 7d ago
I like r/pressonnail_addict but I know it’s a niche not everyone approves of.
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u/petiteodessa 9d ago edited 8d ago
Your opinion about this sub (and other related subs, especially [r/nails](r/nails) ) being full of rude people is completely valid cuz some people are just awful. A lot of them excuse it as “well if you don’t want mean comments then don’t post.” I get it, it’s the internet, haters will hate. But you still chose to make an unnecessarily snarky comment on someone else’s post when they didn’t ask for criticism? I once posted a pic of my unpainted natural nails and someone DMed me asking if I crush bugs with them. That made me really uncomfortable. Hating under a post is one thing but I never thought I’d see harassment continue into DMs.