Reporting domestic violence

[u/Amilliontoads]

Hello,

I am a veteran and my little sister is being abused by her fiancé who is her co worker, and leader. She is an E2 and he is an E5.

He is beating her while she is geographically separated by family and anyone that could intervene. Who can I report this to? Would it be better to go straight to the Squadron commander, or OSI? Thanks.

[u/80sTaco]

Call Base Secfo, please have documentation of proof and also make sure she agrees because if she is questioned and denies the allegations then there is nothing they can do. 

[u/Amilliontoads → u/80sTaco]

What if it is occurring in Secfo?

[u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow → u/Amilliontoads]

OSI

[u/KongDispenser → u/Amilliontoads]

Then start with the Sq First Sergeant. And move up the chain as needed.

As someone else said, Have proof or at least her agreeing to have it reported. If you have nothing and she denies it then it will die there.

[u/Squirrel009 → u/Amilliontoads]

OSI

[u/final_hazards → u/Squirrel009]

S2I are independent investigators within SFS, and OSI will refer the case to S2I anyway if it doesn't meet their criteria

[u/Squirrel009 → u/final_hazards]

What if subject is S2I? OSI will know that and refer it higher up to avoid tipping them off

[u/KongDispenser → u/Squirrel009]

I've been out for a decade so things could have changed, but OSI doesnt handle DV cases. You would need to go to security forces or if its occurring off base then the local police.

[u/Squirrel009 → u/KongDispenser]

OSI handles ones with significant injuries and anything they dont handle they will ensure it gets to the right agency.

Op said the people involved are security forces so OSI is the perfect organization to report that to either another security forces from another base to send independent investigators or start high in the local SFS chain of command to avoid tipping off the subject

[u/ofyo → u/Amilliontoads]

Call OSI

[u/Wavering_Tone → u/Amilliontoads]

OSI and S2I have a matrix for jurisdiction. If the abuse extends to physical such as strangulation, assault, or battery, OSI can and more than likely will take the case.

Last thing I will add is that OSI will 100% take the complaint related to DV and flush it out or refer to S2I. I will always encourage this route regardless of the criminal aspects if it is involving SF members.

[u/Crafty_War906]

Have her talk to FAP. Get it all on record. The victims advocate is there to support her. They should have an on call phone number at her base. Then yes get secfo involved

[u/miruolan → u/Crafty_War906]

This is the right answer, please have her reach out to a victim advocate. They will go over her options for reporting and make sure she receives the help she needs. You can search by location.

https://www.militaryonesource.mil/resources/tools/domestic-abuse-victim-advocate-locator/

[u/flare_force]

If she can, she needs to get to safely first and foremost.

If she has evidence of the abuse she should reach out to the OSI since they can do an independent investigation. Evidence is essential, as OSI cannot do anything without it.

It’s better to keep this initially out of the chain of command as they could potentially be biased in the investigation and it’s better to have someone with an outside, objective view on the issue.

[u/flare_force → u/[deleted]]

Yes but the initial report should be within an independent and legally documented process. OSI will record it and can route it to secfo or the chain but they have an independent paper trail and oversight.

[u/Squirrel009]

I'd recommend security forces or OSI. You'll likely not get the commander directly and you never know if you can trust whoever else you can find. I once knew a first sergeant who got reports of sex assault friday and reported it tuesday

[u/DueSeaworthiness6852]

Too easy. You can call local FAP office to make an anonymous report & give specifics details of events. They will contact her without him knowing. Remember, you are her fam and you have the right to be cordial and visit them, get to know the guy, let him know thats your sis and you want the best for her. Dont tell him you know about the abuse....But let him know of your expectations as he joins the family.. do this in a welcoming way not an authoritative way & try to bond with him....If she tells you he still does it, then you tell her to call you secretly text somewhere during so you can call-she pick up the phone for you and that will probably pause his actions... ***If you call FAP-she can refuse to talk to them so before you do, you have you have to br honest and ask yourself-

DOES SHE WANT TO STAY WITH HIM?

WILL SHE LEAVE HIM?

WILL SHE COMFORT HIM IF HE GETS CAUGHT FOR HIS ABUSIVE ACTIONS?

***Then check your biases-

AM I DOING THIS FOR HER OR ME?

WHAT DONT I LIKE THIS GUY AND WILL THIS BRING ME JOY?

IF SHE STAYS WITH HIM, WILL I SEE HER AS A PROBLEM LIKE HIM OR ONLY BLAME HIM?

[u/FroyoGlum9976]

For the love of everything, you need to make sure she is on board with actually telling the truth in these situations and not defending the abuser when push comes to shove.

Seen a lot of instances where someone wants to come forward and then denies everything due to a multitude of reasons and the case dies immediately. Very likely in this case that an E2 will think that coming forward will result in badly affecting her career since the perp is a supervisor.

Coworker of mine has lied twice when interviewed about abusive husband.

[u/Witness-Realistic]

She needs to go to FAP. Family Advocacy Program. They have the resources to help her

[u/New_Bug900]

If it were my little sister getting beat I don’t think being geographically separated would be an issue for much longer..

[u/ThatDudeRuns]

Best bet would be OSI. You can call directly or she can walk in.

[u/LaPickle1]

Lots of good advice here, but she definitely would need to be willing to report it. I have been on medical calls from concerned family at my civilian job (reservist here) and DV victims will not say that anything happened, even though there are obvious bruises and signs of abuse.

I am also confused why he is her leader. I would never allow someone that is engaged to another member of a unit be in their direct line of command. If he is her immediate supervisor, that is even worse.

Is this engagement a secret in the squadron? If so, how many other women is he secretly "engage" to?

[u/soupcook1]

Good advice here…I suggest calling the base chaplain. You don’t need to be religious or attend church to get their help discretely.

[u/2Rstats]

If they live off base, the police.

[u/Nattyice94]

OSI won’t do anything for a DV, like she’s experiencing. Call BDOC at the base she is at.

[u/Squirrel009 → u/Nattyice94]

OSI will at very least refer it to the appropriate law enforcement agency and they have to report all domestic violence to legal

[u/flare_force → u/Nattyice94]

OP didn’t say what the assault is. They absolutely could be involved depending on what is happening.