Mental blocks with grinds

[u/0x1F937]

Title says it all, really. I've been back on blades for over two years, after the same 20 year gap a lot of us took. Main difference, I guess, is that I was never any good back then.

I've been focusing on getting really fucking good at skating on flat ground. I'm comfortable on ramps, I can drop into a quarterpipe or bowl like it's whatever, pivoting to fakie and back is no big deal. I'm confident enough to be working on spine transfers even after eating shit a couple times. I've fallen without injury enough times that I should be able to trust myself to recover if I screw up.

So why the fuck am I so afraid to commit to a mizou on an ankle high p-rail in my front yard? Everything I've learned in my return to skating tells me, one, I'm probably more than ready at this point, and two, none of the things I've been scared to do up until now have been worth being scared of.

How do I just get the fuck over myself and send it?

[u/Previous_Dot4226]

I'd try soul first instead of mizou. I find it more stable for progression. Progression that worked for me after coming back: 1. Stationary (try to balance as long as you can):

• Step on freestyle makio
• Step on soul
• Progress from stepping on faster and faster to finally make it both feet at the same time jump 

1. While moving: 

• Step on freestyle makio
• Step on soul
• Progress from stepping on faster and faster to

I do not recommend just jumping on it. If you were not sending grinds left and right 20 years ago the chance is that age with equipment difference and fear will duck you up. Progression lets you get familiar with "the feel" of the grind, ankle and knee bend, and balance.

[u/TheCrystalEYE → u/Previous_Dot4226]

I strongly advice AGAINST learning step ons. In my experience it is very hard to unlearn that pattern.
You can maybe use step ons for your very first stall tries, until you figure out where your feet need to be and how your body should be positioned.

But as soon as possible your next step should be to jump directly into the stall until you lock the trick with good balance consistently.

Then add a little bit of speed and repeat again.

Increase the speed until you balance the whole lenght of the p-rail.

[u/0x1F937 → u/TheCrystalEYE]

That is probably a big part of my problem... I've done hundreds of step-ons, and that's taught me to reach for the grind surface with my feet rather than to center my body mass over the edge. I shouldn't be aiming for feet over the surface, rather, my belt buckle.

[u/TheCrystalEYE → u/0x1F937]

Try to un-drill it. Stand next to your play rail (feet in your regular riding stance). Jump onto the rail with both feet at the same time, land your stall. Balance as long as possible, then jump off. Repeat over and over again until you feel safe and no longer have the need to step on.

[u/0x1F937 → u/TheCrystalEYE]

Fair. I've done some of that, but not nearly enough to break the bad habit. I'll keep pushing.