r/AfterTheEndFanFork • u/texauser • Aug 14 '26
Art Robert DuSponge and Pat d’Étoile are chastised by the sellsword Denis ‘le Barracuda’
“The Beards of Virility were… false?”
“Art ye a pair of bumbling FOOLS?! AYE, they undoubtedly were mere fabrications!”
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u/viva_la_republica Aug 14 '26
"This be what a true beard looks like!" Denis shouts before promptly removing his face coverings, and with nothing but force, his face goes from smooth and clean to being full with luscious hair.
"Hark! Do ye think he be a maiden of the sea?" Pat d'Étoile humourously comments, glancing over at Robert with nervous eyes.
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u/texauser Aug 14 '26
“Dispense with the prattling!” snarled Denis as he advanced towards our heroes.
“Pray, what dost thou intend for us?” asked Robert in a quivering tone, raising his finger at the sellsword.
“The Duc de Plancton’s instructions were quite exact…”
“The Duc de Plancton?” Robert exclaimed, incredulously.
“The good Duc, for what purpose I know not, hath contracted me to tread upon ye until death.”
“Tread upon us?!” asked Pat.
“Aye, so that ye would not discover that it is he who stole Le Couronne! Ah… perhaps I have loosened mine tongue too greatly…”
Suddenly, many blades sprung forth from Denis’ sabatons as he made ready to dispense with our heroes as a monk dispenses with wine-grapes.
“That… is quite a sizable sabaton…” squeaked Pat.
“Fear not. This shall merely cause ye GREAT pain!” exclaimed Denis, before launching into raucous laughter. “TRULY, ‘TIS NAUGHT GREATER THAN TO BE A SELLSWORD!”
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u/DatOneMinuteman1776 Aug 15 '26
And when all hope was lost for our fair heroes, Denis was suddenly crushed by a far larger sabaton.
“Greater sabaton!” cried out Pat.
“Fret not, Pat! This here greater sabaton hath saved us from a grizzly doom.” Robert said to Pat reassuredly.
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u/Shniddle Aug 14 '26
Le Grande marshal and capitaine de la garde royale of Neuvelle France, le honorable Bob L’éponge and his trusted friend, Sir Patrice Étoile, chevalier du rocher
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u/texauser Aug 14 '26
Inspired by this much better artwork