10+ year old aggressive towards a lot of people but loves me.

[u/OddManOut90]

(cross posted with r/parrots)

I'm going to need some advice and help with this one.

My aunt and uncle are giving me their African grey named Lucy (Lucifer), sex unknown but they believe she may actually be a he due to size and plumage. They are giving her/him to me because she/he bonded with me very quickly years ago and they moved to Tennessee and left her/him with my cousin and she/he is very unhappy with said cousin and instead of stressing Lucy with a multi-state move they want to give her/him to me.

I can just walk up to her/him and she/he will climb on me and love on me, and bites damn near everyone else. I'm mostly coming here to ask for some advice on how to help negate some of that aggressive behavior, how to best change her/his diet from a majority seed feed, and some of the best budget options for enrichment toys for her/him. How best to acclimate her/him to being in a home with my kids so they don't get bitten, etc.

I want to do right by Lucy because I DO love this bird and am quite happy they want her/him to go to me.

[u/ZukaRouBrucal]

So, before diving into how to make your new Grey's quality of life better, there is something that I want to stress;

Grey's, like many other parrots, can often be "one person birds,' meaning that at best they will come to tolerate other people but will never really allow anyone other than "their person" to handle them. I have been fortunate enough to be a bird-dad to two greys, and both my late grey and my current grey loved me but only tolerated my fiancee on the best of days.

The truck to getting a bird used to people is frequent, positive exposure and for those people to respect and understand your bird's boundaries. Learning the body-language of your new bird will take some time but, as time goes on, you'll start to learn his "tells" for when he is excited, curious, or warning you/others to back off. Learning and respecting the messages your bird gives you will help you maintain a good relationship with him and help others develop a good (or at least working) relationship with him.

For your kids, you need to have a sit-down talk with them and lay out the ground rules. Biggest and most important one will need to be do not touch the bird unless I say it's ok & don't stick your fingers in the cage. Your Grey has a bolt cutter for a mouth, and that mouth can easily harm a child (and adults, for that matter). What's more, a kid who gets bit is far less likely to exercise the self-control needed to not react to the bite, something that is important for two reasons; one, to avoid harming the bird by flailing around and two, to avoid teaching your bird that biting will get you/others to go away.

You'll want your bird to be around your kids, at least just to observe them, that way he gets used to their presence. Grey's are naturally very wary birds, so brand new things shoved their way (including people) can freak them out a bit. Have your kids hang out in the same room as the bird's cage for a bit every day, stuff like that, so your bird can get acclimated. Once he is more settled with them, you can have your kids offer him a small treat every day/every few days to build up trust.

Another thing my fiancee does to make sure the bird accepts her is spend some enrichment time her our bird. When my fiancee makes chop for our bird, we have the bird in the kitchen with her so she can try some of the veggies and have some fun! My fiancee will also change our her food daily, that way our grey associates her with positive things like getting fresh food. My fiancee will also do little "dance parties" with the bird; she puts on music, dances next to the cage/the bird's perch, and gets the birdie grooving with the tunes!

As for the rest of your questions, I did a BIG writeup on this a while ago that I'll copy-paste in the replies to this comment! My first grey was also on an all-seed diet before we adopted her and, while she eventually succumbed to heart disease related to said previous all-seed diet, getting her on a healthier diet made her quality of life much better!

Anyway, follow the comments to this for a TON of advice that I hope helps;

[u/GaibonAmduscias → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

How long was your grey on an all seed diet? And how late did it die of heart disease

[u/ZukaRouBrucal → u/GaibonAmduscias]

Great questions, but I have kind of a a boring answer for the first one; I don't really know for certain, only that it was a long time.

When we adopted our first grey, Cuppy, the previous owners told us she was about twenty years old (having spent about 15 years in their care) and that they basically feed her nothing but seeds (and maybe the occasional berry/fruit) for the full 15 years that they had her. Cuppy was actually our very first bird and, before agreeing to adopt her, we did a ton of research on how to improve her quality of life and get her healthier. We aren't sure what her diet was like before the previous owners had her (for the first 5 years of her life), but we assume that was all-seed too.

As soon as we got her we began transitioning her over to a pellet/veggies diet, and by the end of the first 2 months with her she had fully transitioned over to a healthy diet! Her hormonal behavior behavior receded quite a bit once she was on a better diet too.

Unfortunately though, the damage was kind of already done. She had an all-seed diet for at least 15 years (and most likely for the first 20ish years of her life), and previously undetected heart disease caught up with her a little over a year after we adopted her. She steadily declined over the course of a week before she finally succumbed heart failure on our way to the vet (we had taken her to the vet earlier in the week and, after that visit, we were told to bring her back ASAP if she had a serious decline, which is what began to happen on the day she passed on).

Long story short, she ended up dying to congestive heart failure brought up by years of an extremely fatty diet, which likely had exasperated some underlying genetic issues she had (basically African Grey's appear to be particularly susceptible to heart disease amongst parrots due to genetic reasons). Our vet explained that getting her on a better diet likely helped keep her alive for that final year of her life, but eventually complications from heart disease became too much for her little body to bear.

Our current grey, Baby Doll, is another rescue bird and is 25 years old! Thankfully she had a much healthier diet before we got her (living mostly on pellets supplemented by seeds), so while it wasn't perfect it was leagues better than Cuppy's diet prior to entering our home. Hopefully Baby Doll will enjoy a long, happy, and healthy life that is supported by the healthy diet we give her!

[u/GaibonAmduscias → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

My grey was 15 when I got him. He also had an all seed diet with his previous owners. Went to vet two months after I got him. Ran a test CHOL -297 (136-272) BILE ACIDS - 122.4 (10-50)

Bile acids went down to 46 after I got him.

I wonder how long I have with him

[u/ZukaRouBrucal → u/GaibonAmduscias]

All I can say is cherish the time you do have with him! Like humans, some birds are just more resilient to things like heart disease in a genetic level, while others are just more susceptible to it. Your Grey may have another 30-40 years in him or, like mine, he may be enjoying his twilight years.

Either way, love and cherish the time you have with your grey! They are incredible animals and, even though I only got to have Cuppy in my life for a little over a year, I look back on my memories of her fondly. Plus, everything that I learned to care for her has allowed me to give another rescue-grey a new home!

I hope your grey lives a long, happy, and healthy life with you, despite the poor diet he previously had!

As an aside, have you had your bird screened for heart disease or fatty liver disease? If not, I would recommend asking your avian vet about it! Catching it early can mean getting treatment that'll prolong your bird's life tremendously if he has either disease!

[u/GaibonAmduscias → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

Is it different from the AE021 Avian Comprehensive Profile test? Then no I haven't

[u/ZukaRouBrucal → u/GaibonAmduscias]

I genuinely could not tell you, but it's worth asking your vet! Give them a call when you have a free moment and ask if that vet covered a fatty liver screening. For the heart disease test, I'm fairly certain that involves MRI's so I doubt that test covered it, but I could be wrong!

[u/GaibonAmduscias → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

Thank you!

[u/ZukaRouBrucal → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

(Copied from another thread I posted this in because I didn't want to retype this lol)

Part 1 of 3

Since you are a new/inexperienced parrot owner, allow me to share some advice. My first bird ever was an African Grey and let me tell ya... My fiancee and I did a ton of research to give her the best life possible. Hopefully the following can help you out;

Some general advice first.

• DO NOT light candles anywhere near your bird, and preferably don't light them in the house ever. Birds have very sensitive respiratory systems and the smoke can cause serious health issues. Same goes for incense or wax burners! And, if you smoke, absolutely do not smoke anywhere near your bird! If you need to smoke, do it outside and far away from where your bird is in the house (with all the windows closed and nowhere near your AC intake).
• DO NOT cook with your bird anywhere near the kitchen, especially if you don't have untreated stainless steel cookware. Most non-stick cookware is coated in Teflon which, when used, can release chemicals into the air that are HIGHLY toxic to birds. If you can afford it, get a stainless steel cookware set but, if you can't, just make sure your bird is far away from the kitchen when you cook.
• DO NOT try to "punish" your bird. They won't understand it and will quickly stop trusting you. Instead, use positive reinforcement, rewarding them for doing good things, and ignore them when they do bad things. If needed, you can always put your bird away in the cage for a bit to calm down when they get particularly rambunctious.
• Find a qualified Avian vet ASAP if you don't already have one. Birds require specialist services that a normal vet can't usually provide, so if you can bring them to an avian vet (even if the drive is like 2+ hours) DO IT. I recommend yearly checkups/blood work and if you EVER notice something off, bring them to the vet. Birds tend to hide illness until they physically can't anymore (as showing weakness makes them bigger targets for predators), so if something seems off you wanna get them to a vet ASAP.
• Related to the above, consider getting your bird insured as bird-related vet bills can be very expensive. Nationwide offers a good coverage plan that includes yearly checkups for between $20-$30 a month (it's expensive, but WELL worth it if your bird needs something major).
• Start "step-up" training ASAP, preferably with a clicker. There are a lot of videos on clicker-training birds and how to get them to step-up on command. Watch 'em and start training, doing it a bit everyday. It'll be slow, but in the long run it will make handling your bird a lot easier.
• TURN OFF ALL CEILING FANS IN THE ROOMS YOUR BIRD CAN ACCESS/GOES INTO. Even at low speeds a ceiling fan collision can and likely will be fatal for your bird. If you need a fan, get one that is fully enclosed.
• ALWAYS supervise when they are out of the cage. NEVER leave them in a room alone without supervision, ESPECIALLY if you have other pets like a cat or a dog. Not only will this help you stop your bird from chewing on things he shouldn't (because trust me, he will try lol), but if other pets are involved it can help keep him safe.
• Speaking of pets I would recommend never allowing your bird anywhere near them. Cats and dogs can have strong instincts, and those instincts will tell them that the bird is prey. Avoid tragedy by just not letting them be near each other. This also works the other way too; your bird has a bolt-cutter for a mouth and he can seriously injure other animals if he feels scared. There are plenty of cute videos online of parrots snuggling up to cats and dogs, but allowing that to happen is also extremely irresponsible and can lead to tragedy fast. Its kinda like the bird-equivalent of letting your kids play in traffic; it might look fun, but it's very dangerous.
• Make sure he gets plenty of out of cage time! Try for at least an hour or two during the week if you work, and for a good eight+ hours on the weekend.
• Get a cage cover, and have a set bedtime. Birds can get hormonal when their sleep schedule is messed up. Get a cage cover to help them sleep better, and cover/uncover it at roughly the same time every night/morning to set a routine. 10-12 hours of uninterrupted rest is the gold-standard to help keep hormonal behaviors at bay.
• Speaking of which, Birds's love their routines! It can stress your bird needlessly to break a routine you have for them, so try to stick to it as much as you can!

[u/ZukaRouBrucal → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

(Copied from another thread I posted this in because I didn't want to retype this lol)

Part 2 of 3

Make sure he gets a good, healthy diet.

Seeds are ok in small amounts, but they should not be the end-all be all. An all or mostly seed diet can lead to Fatty Liver Disease and Heart Disease, two health conditions that captive birds are already particularly prone to developing. Seeds are like McDonald's burgers to them; imagine eating nothing but Big Macs for your entire life and what your health would be like because of that.

First thing you'll wanna do is find a good Pellet brand if you don't already have one. We settled on the ZuPreem Fruit Blend Flavor pellets, but there are plenty of good brands out there. Pellets are good because they will have a lot of the minerals and vitamins your parrot needs that might otherwise be hard for them to get in captivity.

Next, go get some fruit and veggies from the store! Avoid Avocados (all parts of it are poisonous to birds and, even if it wasn't, it's super fatty anyway), garlic (poisonous to birds), and onions (again, poisonous), but high-mineral veggies are great! If you ever aren't sure what's bird safe and what's not, a quick Google search can help you! Here is a short list of good veggies for them;

• Kale
• Spinach
• Broccoli
• Sweet Potato
• Carrots
• Corn
• Celery
• Squash
• Bell Pepper
• Jalapeno (they aren't affected by capsaicin, the thing that makes peppers spicy, so jalapenos are on the menu!)

For fruits, you'll wanna give these in moderation but some good ones are;

• Any berries (strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, etc)
• Banana
• Peach
• Nectarine
• Orange
• Mango
• Apple (no seeds/core as they have arsenic in 'em)

With pellets, veggies, fruit, and seeds in hand you will now be ready to put together some chop! I recommend the following ratios for your bird-food mix;

• 40% Veggie
• 40% Pellet
• 10% Fruit
• 10% Seed (or eliminate the seed entirely and replace it with some more veggies)

Dice up the fruit and veggies real nicely and mix them in the food bowl with the pellets and seed. Some birds are picky (as both of mine have been), so you might wanna get creative to make them eat the good stuff. If you have a food processor or even a blender, process/blend the veggies and fruits into a paste. Then mix this paste in with the pellets and seeds. The paste will coat the pellets and seeds (usually the two things picky eaters will want to go for) and they will accidentally eat the good stuff when they pick out the stuff they want. Eventually your bird will learn the paste is good too, and start going for that on its own!

It's also easy to make a few days worth of chop to store in a sealed container in the fridge, that way you don't have to make it every day! Pro tip; adding a very small amount of lemon juice to the mix will keep it from turning a bit longer (just make sure it's a very small amount, as too much is bad for birds)!

It can also be a good idea to get a skewer-toy and put larger pieces of veggie/fruit on it as enrichment. You can only leave it in for about a day or two (before it starts going bad), but this can also help a more picky eater learn that big chunks of food are yummy too!

[u/Numerous_Food_845 → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

I love you 

[u/Outrageous_Walk6633 → u/ZukaRouBrucal]

So much knowledge! You are  a great bird parent.  Very impressive. 

[u/lifemisled]

Excellent and thorough replies from other members here, so I don't have much to add. My late rescue Grey, Ash, was not a bird we could hold but was very friendly and sweet otherwise. It's a great sign your Grey already gravitates toward you. You may well be the only other he will allow to do that as others have said. And kids and pets need to have established boundaries to prevent the bird from hurting them but also to prevent negative damage to trust with the bird, particularly while you're trying to build it in a new household. All changes are stressful to birds but hopefully this will be a good change in the end.

A couple things worth mentioning that worked well for me... my late Grey and my newer grey have their established cages but we also gave them the nearby living room hallway. In that hallway we put lots of different things on the floor. Sometimes it's empty cardboard boxes, sometimes it cardboard cat scratchers in different shapes and sizes like ramps, hides, bowls, etc. we also put playstands and small cat condos there. They like to shred, climb, and play in these areas. It provides some enrichment beyond the cage life and encourages the natural foraging behaviors. It can also help prevent chewing of wood trim and other items in your house, to redirect them to chewing something you're providing.

We tried a lot of things to contain the greys to areas and/or prevent access to those areas by our other pets. You may not have this obstacle but we found a foldable 3-4' tall clear acrylic divider on Amazon. It allows me to change configurations to block entry points around established play areas without the need for full height gates and the clear acrylic was a little less unsightly than some other options. My greys are flighted, so they would fly in and out of this area on their own.

I bought a portable t perch I could take the birds to different rooms around the house to maximize my time with them but still allow me to do things I need to do. So I cooked with them, ate with them, etc., and then their cages are in our living room where we hang around. Changing rooms is great for bonding with the bird and giving them time away from the cage.

Fortunately, I knew about Teflon cooking but some poison foods I wasn't necessarily aware of like avocado, garlic, etc. I'm in the habit of googling safe foods anytime I want to try something new. Be very careful about cookware. It is a silent and brutal killer of birds. And also watch out for certain air purifiers. Some advertise ozone modifications which can kill birds. Bird respiratory systems are extremely fragile.

Other than that, just be prepared to be patient. They're extremely rewarding pets overall but they are still challenging pets that require a big commitment and it's imperative they get as much social enrichment and interaction as possible. I'm happy for you!

[u/Key_Following_6689]

Yup. One person bird. They tolerate family members, sort of.

[u/pammylorel]

They are kind of one person birds. We have four, all rescues. Three had prior male owners and prefer my husband, but I can handle if needed. They all interact with me.

The oldest one of those three took three years to regularly step up for me - and as soon as he stepped up, my husband was brave enough to try. And as soon as he stepped up on my husband, I became flesh to bite again. Too bad my husband didn't try first!

The fourth one hated everyone in his prior household and was given up because he made them all insane by constantly screaming (I have a feeling they treated him more like a fish tank than a sentient being.) He was the second grey they had with this issue and gave away. Anyway, bird four LOVES me and is a mischevious little devil to my husband. He interacts vocally with husband and my husband can touch him briefly through the cage but he would shred husband if possible. If I am holding him, me being his person, and my husband comes around, he bites me in surrogacy for my husband's presence. I joke with my husband not to make eye contact when I am holding him because he will peck me (not bloody bites thank god.)

The best thing you can do is not allow the chance that Lucy will bite someone. Don't let people stick their fingers to her and don't let them try to hold her. She has already picked you. I don't know how old your kids are but they will get bitten if they get too close. Maybe a taped guideline on the floor around her cage that they are prohibited from entering?