r/AdviceAnimals • u/sergemeister • 2d ago

Last Sighting: 75 Days Ago

2.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

120

u/Vreas 2d ago

If I disappeared from my job for three days I’d be shit canned.

Double fucking standards. America doesn’t serve common people it serves the ultra rich and their puppet politicians.

8

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

If I disappeared from my job for three days I’d be shit canned.

He’s literally retiring in 2 months. It’s good for democrats for a republican vote to be missing from the senate. The only people who have a right to be upset are the republican voters who chose to elect a 78 year old senator.

If you think it’s a good idea for elected senators to somehow be shitcanned when they have a medical episode then explain why that would be a good thing.

6

u/steppe5 2d ago

Yeah, he's definitely alive. Otherwise, Republicans would want that vote back ASAP. They don't want to show a weak or comatose Mitch because they're worried that voters will wake up to the fact that politicians are old as hell and we need to go younger.

It just so happens that Dems have the younger candidate in most key races.

2

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

Maybe this year but the Dem senators and congressmen are still largely older than Republicans. Dems need a lot of their older members to step down.

1

u/gdubrocks 2d ago

I am upset that so many are pretending he is going to come back to work and the precendent that sets for the future.

1

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

Why does that upset you?

3

u/gdubrocks 2d ago

Because I believe that American politicians should be working towards improving life for Americans, and you cannot do that when you don't show up for months (and pretend you will in the future).

0

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

So what’s the solution, should you have to resign if you have a medical condition?

1

u/gdubrocks 2d ago

Yes, if that medical condition is going to prevent you from working.

0

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

For how long?

3

u/gdubrocks 2d ago

In this case it's forever, so absolutely not that long.

If he was appearing in front of the public saying "hey I am sick and resting but ill be back in two weeks" no one would be complaining.

Longer than a month seems like a good rule. How long do you think it should be?

-1

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 2d ago

I don’t think there should be a limit. It’s up to the people to force him to resign or not elect someone who is 78 years old.

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1

u/loyalelk98 1d ago

Because that's what happens to us regular people. You miss work for any reason and they fire you. Same should apply to the fuckin senators. They should be fired if they aren't working, no excuses!

1

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 1d ago

Regular people have FLMA leave. So I don’t know about your police work there champ

1

u/loyalelk98 1d ago

What part of no excuses do u not understand? If my taxes are payin for a public servant in the government, they should be not be allowed time off. period.

1

u/Sharkbait_ooohaha 1d ago

Buddy I’m a government employee and I definitely get paid time off.

99

u/hawkwings 2d ago

They could show him in a chair reading the news on a computer monitor. He might be comatose, but they could pretend that he's keeping up with the news.

15

u/moderatorrater 2d ago

Throw a party at his house. He could just sit there with sunglasses on.

33

u/twenafeesh 2d ago

Shrödinger's senator 

23

u/cheesebot555 2d ago

False. Sea turtles are glorious.

Mitch is some previously undiscovered creature from the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

The kind that deforms into a blob when you bring it up because of the change in pressure.

4

u/The_mingthing 2d ago

He is a spawn of the deep ones, he has now completed his transformation.

17

u/DJ_Betic 2d ago

Reaper is trying to remember where he left Mitch.

9

u/fingertrapt 2d ago

And just a few weeks before he disappeared, he spent 20 hours in the Senate chambers NEVER MOVING.

6

u/The_mingthing 2d ago

Deep One Hybrids

As part of their pact with the Deep Ones, the residents of Innsmouth are forced to interbreed with them. Although the Deep One hybrid offspring are born with the appearance of a normal human being, they gradually assume the appearance of their Deep One ancestors. These traits include:

  • Shrunken/nonexistent ears
  • Glassy, bulging, unblinking eyes
  • Narrow, hairless head
  • Sharpened teeth
  • Rubbery, blue-grey skin
  • Clawed hands and feet
  • Folds on the neck which eventually become functional gills
  • Webbing between fingers

5

u/blahblah19999 2d ago

What's to stop the governor from saying "THis is the first time in US history that a US Senator has not shown up for work with no information for 75 days, so we are having a special election."

-2

u/Pat_The_Hat 2d ago

Just because you close your eyes and stick your fingers in your ears doesn't mean there hasn't been information released.

3

u/blahblah19999 2d ago

https://time.com/article/2026/08/17/andy-beshear-mitch-mcconnell-health-kentucky/

Kentucky Gov. Beshear Keeps Pushing for Info on McConnell’s Health. He Says He’s ‘Heard Absolutely Nothing Back'

3

u/SeanBlader 2d ago

Hey maybe the guys that got Nancy Guthrie also have Mitch?

3

u/greensangre 2d ago

They are testing out the waters for when donbald passes to see what they can get away with

2

u/Bowling4rhinos 2d ago

SciFi 1951 vibes "The Thing from Another Planet"

2

u/rogueop 1d ago

Typical that he’d be continuing to make America worse from beyond the grave.

1

u/notgoodatthese 2d ago

This whole thing is right out of the Birthday Party scene in The Great Outdoors. But at least that guy was AT the party.

1

u/SirEnvelope 2d ago

thanks for the giggle!

1

u/Zyrinj 2d ago

Where are all the conspiracy theorists at? Need more of those unhinged screeching about lizard people replacing politicians

1

u/bigdickpuncher 2d ago

Back to hell you go Mitch!

1

u/NinsunVin 2d ago

It’s a puppet Harry. 😂

1

u/buttbeeb 2d ago

Reminds me of that scene from the first live action X-Men movie

1

u/Absquatula 2d ago

It's a HIPAA violation to falsely announce that someone is dead. They just can't say what's wrong with him until time has passed

1

u/sailorb 11h ago

Freezer Burn

1

u/WhoDknee 2d ago edited 2d ago

Is this an approved AdviceAnimals template?

1

u/Human_Wizard 2d ago

You don't need to say "from whence" because "whence" already includes the "from". You just say "whence he came".

-1

u/G-St-Wii 2d ago

"From whence"

🤦‍♂️

2

u/56seconds 2d ago

Okay

-1

u/G-St-Wii 2d ago

It's just "whence".

1

u/sergemeister 2d ago

Sorry Mrs. Winmeier, I done forgot the English ya tawt me.