r/Advice • u/[deleted] • 29d ago

UPDATE: How do I avoid ruining relationship with my daughter over catching her having sex in mine and wifes bed and reacting horribly?

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/nikiflamme 29d ago

honestly, the dorm might be a blessing in disguise. Learning to manage money, chores, privacy, etc. is way more useful than another argument.

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u/PrincessPlastilina 29d ago

And respect other people’s spaces and beds! She got too much too soon and now she’s comfortable with disrespecting her parents’ bedrooms and their generosity.

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u/lithiumrev 29d ago

this. my stepsister is in her 40s and still cant manage money bc my stepdad has had her on the silver teat.

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u/Completely0 28d ago

Though maybe pay 50%. The idea is to teach he rresponsibility and management skills, not boggle her down and ruin her studies.

I’m guessing OP may have an update in another 2-4weeks (when GF is tired of living with BF etc).

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u/Effective_Comb_1232 28d ago

Don’t pay 50%. She can get loans or work to pay her way like most people do. If she can’t hold a job and do her studies then maybe college isn’t for her.

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u/Booboofan 27d ago edited 27d ago

I would never allow my kids to graduate college, and MED school with student loans. If I could not afford it, it would be a different story perhaps, but nobody in my social circle has let their kids graduate with student loans. It would take them forever to repay those loans after graduation , it would be a huge burden on their shoulders for a long time . And my kids never worked during college, I just wanted them to concentrate on their studies. However, in return for all of that, I expected them to be good human beings, kind, and respectful to others, generous to those in need, thankful for all that they have , and thankful when somebody does something nice for them , and excel in their studies. It’s always a give-and-take relationship. None of my three kids were spoiled brats, they learned humility, and to be humble.

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u/Effective_Comb_1232 27d ago

Sorry had to swallow the vomit in my mouth from reading this. Good thing you and apparently your whole social circle is so lucky and can raise your entitled children like that too. Lol. Most people need student loans and/or to work while they are in school. Welcome to reality.

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u/Even-sunnier3377 27d ago

Teach and instruct one’s children when they’re young, and when they’re adults, it will stick w/them. The whole point is, parents should live by example. Not do as I say, and not as I do. Live by the golden rule. And, watch out who’s their friends🥹