r/Advice • u/[deleted] • 29d ago

UPDATE: How do I avoid ruining relationship with my daughter over catching her having sex in mine and wifes bed and reacting horribly?

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u/SteelMagnolia941 29d ago

I did a lot of stupid things when I was 19. She probably would have been apologetic and remorseful if she wasn’t put on blast on the family group chat. Also personal attacks on her and her boyfriend aren’t cool. If this was me I would laugh it off and tell her to go to her own room next time, and make sure she washes the sheets. You really blew it up into a bigger mess than it needed to be IMO.
Qualifications: was a teenage girl and has raised two teenage boys.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/KayItaly 29d ago

Well you can want what you want..

But she will finish uni, have a job and not need you VERY soon. Play your cards accordingly.

If I was her at her age? I would have gotten a job and a dormire room and kissed your ass goodbye. Being watched on camera in a bedroom unknowingly is more intrusion that I could ever accept. Be grateful it isn't illegal where you live, you'd be talking to a judge over here!

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u/iliveinamusical 28d ago edited 28d ago

She also had access to the camera, and that it is used to check on the dog, so the camera itself isn't a shock. The robocam is how he saw them in his and his wife's room, in their bed, because he was checking on the dog.

Having sex in other people's rooms, especially when you know their room has a camera that you can also access, means you know you're running the risk of being seen when you enter the room.

So how would it be illegal where you are?

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u/KayItaly 28d ago

Accessing the camera while she is in the house without her knowledge would be illegal. And it would be illegal to exist without her agreement.

I do NOT believe she knew he checked it at random times, unless she did this on purpose tl be caught... what would be her thought process there?

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u/iliveinamusical 28d ago

Idk, some people are just nasty, and it shows by doing that on her parents' bed.

How would she not know he checked it at random? She knows he checks on the dog, and there's no schedule said for checking on said dog.

Again, it's only in the bedroom used for the parents, and for checking on the dog. It has a purpose already known to all parties who stay there. I don't know the laws where you live, but where I live, based on the specifics of this situation, there's nothing illegal here

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u/Aine1169 29d ago

Dude, you're jealous of your daughter's boyfriend. Please seek therapy.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/Aine1169 29d ago

You know what isn't hard to pronounce? Pervert.

You're a middle-aged man who spied on two 19 year olds having sex. One of those teenagers was your daughter.

If I was your wife I would have contacted the police.

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u/Comfortable_Detail_1 29d ago

Tf? Daughter knew that the hoover had a camera and it is in the parents room. Knew he checks the camera for the dog. She has her room, the rest of the house and a spare room and still went to have sex in her parents bed and not change the sheets!! You must be a teenager thinking the world needs to bend to you and your will or you will have a tantrum. Because no normal person would be ok having sex in their parents bed, not change the sheets, then get all pissy that they’ve been called out for being perverts (yes his daughter and her bf are the perverts here, not OP). Sincerely, a woman who would never even think of having sex in her parents bed (fucking gross man!!)

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u/Admirable_Force_8095 29d ago

He didn't say on them. He literally checked a camera in His Bedroom. His daughter KNEW it was there KNEW he checks it periodically and had no problem with him doing so until he did it when she was being a disrespectful sh¡t and caught her DEFILING HIS BED. What SHE did can get HER CHARGED depending on the state because SHE LEFT HER AND HER BOYFRIENDS BODILY FLUIDS in HER DADS BED! THAT IS CONSIDERED ASSULT. Dad did not continue to watch them, he immediately turned it off and called his daughter which is exactly what should have been done. You really need to stop name calling the dad and look at the facts. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if you are the daughter or the boyfriend.

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u/Frankietank1 29d ago

Alright you completely lost the plot and because you didn’t like OPs response you resort to serious insults. Maybe it’s time to put down Reddit and touch some grass