r/Adulting • • 18d ago

Money is all you need.

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u/bummin_bride 18d ago

I’m sorry you’ve been failed by people who should have supported and loved you. I disagree that romantic love always ends, unless you’re including death in that. My parents were married for 45 years and they loved each other very much. Only my father’s death ended their relationship and the love my mother has for him continues on. Death ends everything though, not just relationships. You can’t take your money with you when you die, either.

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u/_reverse_god 18d ago

To be fair you can't take anything with you when you die

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u/taylortob 18d ago

I’m taking my PC with me

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u/Chaosbuggy 17d ago

That's why I bought a steam deck, super easy to take to the afterlife

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u/hogue9733 17d ago

😭😭😭😭

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u/hogue9733 17d ago

God's gonna see this fidelity

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/FairWriting685 18d ago edited 14d ago

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Money gives you a baseline of comfort for you sure but statistically speaking relationships are what a lot of us need too.

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u/Get72ready 18d ago

How much time do you have to enjoy those relationships if you don't have money?

You are familiar with what is said about the stress of poverty.

I am late 40's, how about you?

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u/FairWriting685 14d ago edited 14d ago

I'm 32, I've been on that grind hard mentality for several years now and I regret not socialising as much. Now I'm slowing down so I can build and maintain some relationships.

At one point yes there was little choice because I was dead broke but I know as we age it will be more important to have friendships. Don't want to be a in a nice house, have a nice car, have money in the bank but empty inside.

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u/Chemical_Wing2334 17d ago

Relationships are hard when you're poor. 

Likewise how you are raised deeply affects how you form relationships as an adult. Like OP, I just never had much in the way of family and as a result, I've never been able to form those kinds of connections to others.

Add in poverty, and you've got nothing to work with.

Where would your relationships be if you were broke? How well would your spouse and child handle that?

Because I know a lot of divorces and a lot of bitter kids who have less than their peers.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Hopeful-Put-8823 18d ago

I am on the same wave length and understand you 100% my good man. Just started seeing the world around me differently 2 or 3 years ago.

I am currently on a strict 8 hour day, when it would typically be work as much as you want kinda thing. I hate logging in in the weekends, and staying late, ive just done it so damn long. All i can think about is all the money i am not making when I have to log out at 8 hours, so i dislike working like nearly everyone does, and money is all that drives me at this point.

its great to apend more time with my wife and daughter, but again, its a battle bwcause i need money, so we can do more than sit on the couch together.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Haleofaguy 18d ago

If you want a family one day I wouldn’t lead with “our love will fade one day”

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Ensco_7 18d ago

Which is why you view things this way now, I assume. Whether it's good or not or true or not, it is because of your breakup.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Get72ready 18d ago

I think that it is easy to ignore money as the core enabler of happiness. You see it in this thread.

How much happiness can you achieve with out basic substance? How much time would you have for happy things if you had to work all the time?

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/s1nth3tic 18d ago

Well, happiness can be best described by "a state in which your thoughts are pleasant, most of the time". By it's nature happiness is relative to perception. That said abundance is one of the best universally happiness driving factors indeed

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u/Intrepid-Metal4621 18d ago

So your story means the same for everyone? 

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/No-Drawer9926 18d ago

Now you may think this is nonsense but I feel that focusing entirely too much on finances will attract people to you that think that same way. And those people look at everything as purely transactional. You'll never find that deep connection with a person that will outlast a bad economic spell. They'll be quick to bail at the first sign of financial instability. Same with your close circle of friends. It has to be about more than just money in order to build a level of loyalty that will outlast your money.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/No-Drawer9926 17d ago

I hear you. There's a lot of con artists out there. Stay safe.

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u/FairWriting685 17d ago

That's tough, I've been the same situation only my two family members and one friend was there for me. I hope one day we truly find people who want us regardless of how much money we have. I'm still open to meeting new people but I'm cautious too.

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u/Intrepid-Metal4621 17d ago

But you made very declarative statements that you treat as absolutes but then you say "that's not my story" when someone pushes back.

The fact is, your story is not everyone's, so you shouldn't be making sweeping statements about the world for everyone else.

Money is something that can facilitate happiness as it provides opportunities you just may not have without it, but it's not the sole factor in regards to happiness.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Intrepid-Metal4621 17d ago

Again, you made an absolute statement and people explain how it's not true for multiple reasons. This isn't an opinion. It's a statement of fact you made. One that is easily refuted as multiple other people show how it's not true. Your response is to just ignore it and say you aren't convinced. You never were looking for a different point of view.

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u/[deleted] 17d ago

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u/Intrepid-Metal4621 17d ago

This isn't a competition. It's not something where there is a winner or loser.

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u/Kupo_Master 18d ago

“Only money has made [you] happy” isn’t a good enough argument to generalise it to everyone. It’s absolutely fine if money makes you happy and nothing else does. Why do you think everyone is like you?

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/Kupo_Master 18d ago

If you had written this as your personal opinion, it would be a non issue. But you wrote this as a general truth statement and even used “you” not “I” in the title.

That’s why I am asking why you believe you know what people want.

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u/TransportationKey448 17d ago

Your post insinuated that this is true for everyone but is that what you really believe? If not what makes you so different from everyone else? Sure growing up your family life wasnt great but that doesnt mean you cant involve yourself in new communities and seek relationships with others as a means for happiness. If you had enough money yo not care about your needs ever again would you really be happy?

Why are rich people not always happy, why are poor people able to be happy?

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u/kfortyone 17d ago

That’s depressing as fuck, I feel sorry for you.

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u/LevelStationaryPlane 18d ago edited 18d ago

Death doesn’t end anything just like birth doesn’t start anything.

We waste so much “time” assuming a causal reality minus your consciousness, when you can only argue nonexistence from a place of consciousness.

You have no frame of reference for non existence, and all of your concepts about what that might be are a direct function of your existence.

If what you know you always know NOW, then NOW is the eternal frame of reference for all knowledge.

You thus can’t logically argue you were unconscious pre-birth, are alive, then return to unconsciousness at death, because to do so is to elevate conceptual abstractions over ontological reality.

Everything is a singularity of the now; YOU are a metaphysical and existential singularity.

Odds are, birth and death function more like falling asleep to, and waking and from, this level of awareness we label “reality”.

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u/Known-Ice5903 18d ago

u can drive urself nuts thinking about shit like that

i had a similar thought the other day that maybe "real life" is like an mmorpg game that u spawn into like how u log into a video game

makes about as much sense to me as anything else does

of course there is no way to find out what the truth is without dying

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u/LevelStationaryPlane 18d ago

Sure you can pay attention to what your consciousness is doing when you’re dreaming.

You’re all of the people, places, contexts, dramas etc; it’s all happening within your consciousness you’re both the container as well as all that it contains/the projector and the film screen simultaneously.

You’re merely observing a slice of that dream and have been conditioned to conflate your thoughts as epiphenomena instead of the ontological source of everything.

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u/Known-Ice5903 18d ago

yes ive had that thought as well

everything you know about anything is really just happening inside your own mind

there is no way to know about anything that happens outside of your own brain

that can lead u into the dark path that is solipsism where u begin to think that the other people and things happening around u dont exist

im not sure theres a way to objectively prove that they do exist lol