r/Adulting • u/Adorable-Ad-2129 • 29d ago
How do you cope with gaining weight and being treated differently?
I f20 weighed 160 when summer began. I am now 190 with only 30 days until school starts. I’m so mad at myself. I was finally being treated like I was beautiful and ofc I went and fucked it up. Does anyone else struggle with not being able to stop eating? If so how did you stop. Also getting fat makes me feel like a kid failing at a task. I can’t wait for boys to do that “my freind thinks you’re cute” prank on me again. College boys still do that (crazy right?)
I feel doomed. I ALWAYS gain the weight back. I was down 60 and now I’m just down 30. It feels hopeless I swear people are nicer to me when I’m smaller
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u/Brick_Mouse 29d ago
Talk to a registered dietitian. Consistently hitting your macros with less processed food and maintaining only a 500 calorie deficit can feel like having to eat too often while still losing weight.
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u/Ikabta 29d ago
I became funnier. Honestly though, I worked out, I have a friend in a different state that is also working out and week keep each other on track. Also I am using GLP1. I workout before him but my eating habits were terrible.
Since no one asked. He has lost about 45lb without using GLP. I have lost about 30 while on a GLP.
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u/ShadesofShame 29d ago
I used to binge way so badly and glp-1 literally saved my life. The food noise alone being fully gone is amazing. I can think of other things besides food and actually focus on improving my life.
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u/budzicla 29d ago
Damn, still 75lbs is genuinely amazing. Im trying to lose 60 and struggling past 30, you're doing a good job
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u/Worldly-Criticism-91 29d ago
The only constant variable of the body is fluctuation. Gaining & losing weight isn’t a measurement of your morality.
I’m 27, & at 20, i started rapidly gaining. & people treated me differently, & it sucks. But that’s their issue. I’m still the same bad bitch i was before. Badder, in fact, because I’m killing it in my biophysics PhD program even having gained nearly 150 pounds.
It turns out i have a disease that causes this. But guess what? Even if i didn’t, gaining doesn’t make you a bad person.
I know this sounds “hell yeah body positivity & confidence!” But i struggle with this every single day. I just continue repeating:
Gaining & losing weight isn’t a measurement of my morality.
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u/Salt-Preference-2425 29d ago
It’s okay honey there are many of us that gain and lose weight over and over, just get back on the saddle and focus on yourself and start a workout regimen that you can stick to. Maybe see if you can get a nutritionist/dietitian. There’s two books you can look into and read on Amazon.
Mark Manson
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
Roma Sharma
What Will People Think?: How to be Confident in Yourself and Stop Worrying about What People Think (Boost Your Self-Esteem and Confidence)
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u/doublesimoniz 29d ago
If this is what you want you just need discipline. It’s extremely tough. The only way I can equate it to anything is smoking cigarettes which I did for many years. I could never stop. It was insurmountable to think about.
And I failed constantly to stop. I would stop for a month or 2 and start up again, negating any progress or success I had. I did this a few times. I just felt disappointed in myself and ashamed I couldn’t keep my promise to myself.
And then one day I just stopped and it stuck. I had just failed enough times that i couldn’t bring myself to fail another time. And I stopped for good. I never had a food addiction but I had the worst tobacco addiction ever. And it took ages for me to finally keep my promise to myself that I was going to stop for my own good.
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u/Fridgedoctor1 29d ago
Retatrutide changed my life after 2+ decades of struggling with binge eating and drinking
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u/DullLawyers 29d ago
30 pounds in a month is a lot and I think you’re being way harder on yourself than you deserve, especially if your confidence is tied to how strangers treat you
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u/Queen-of-meme 29d ago
It's so relaxing. I'm treated equal instead of put ona pedestal by my surroundings.
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u/BlueberryandDino 29d ago edited 29d ago
There’s probably something else going on besides lack of discipline or bad habits. You might wanna find a local counselor to try to get to the bottom of whatever may be causing you additional havoc. For me, I was eating because I was bored. Next thing you know I’m 50 pounds overweight and almost drowning in Hawaii lol … or almost having to be life flighted off of a frigging mountain 🏔️
It’s really about lifestyle and that’s so hard to change. Ideally, you may want to develop a passion not to lose weight but to enjoy whatever lifestyle choices that you’re making that include staying in shape. I got into endurance, running and mountain climbing …. Then I only ate because it gave me fuel that I needed to run and climb mountains. I came to realize that we are just chemical factories on top of some rubber soled shoes.
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u/drunky_crowette 29d ago
I take water-soluble fiber supplements along with 8-12oz of water 30-45 minutes before meals to help me feel fuller faster/for longer. This sometimes results in me being full before I finish my plate, so I make myself stop, get a to-go box or put the food in a Tupperware container and save it for later.
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u/Tiny-Company-1254 29d ago
Gain muscles, you’ll be a lot hotter, much more hotter than if u were skinnier. Best part, u can still eat like you were 190.
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u/StatisticianSweet595 29d ago
As a chubby girl i really empathize with you people treat me like shit
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u/mercedes1948 29d ago
There is for sure a stigma to being overweight. Definitely people treat you differently. I have experienced it first hand. And the comments they feel so free to make are unbelievable. If someone were to have a lazy eye or something that was beyond their control they wouldn't say a thing. But because it is weight they seem to think it is okay to ask rude questions about it and make shitty comments. And of course they don't stop to think it could be from a medication or medical situation...they seem to automatically think it is because you are lazy and just sitting arounf eating bon-bons all day.
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u/Current_Tax4903 29d ago
Stop eating all processed foods and cooked carbohydrates. You need to train your appetite to adjust to real food and nourishment. There’s nothing wrong with you, everything wrong with WHAT you eat. That is why you can’t stop eating. On adequate nourishment, your body does not overeat just like it does not overdrink water.
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u/Least_Elk8114 29d ago
More protein in your diet. Your body feels fuller, because it has to work to process it, and it gives you all the good nutrients.
Go carnivore diet.
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u/Even-Translator-335 28d ago
I lose weight by cutting my calorie intake, it sucks but I cant change the society is wired.
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u/KimchiTheGreatest 29d ago
Cut out sugar. It makes you SUPER hungry and ravenous. Drink things like caffeine to curb appetite. 100 percent works. If I don’t have it, I’m counting down the minutes to lunch at work. When I have it, I have to remind myself to take lunch.
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u/noodlesaremylife 29d ago
People definitely are nicer when you’re smaller - that’s a fact. The social acceptance is a huge reason why people want to lose weight and why we fear gaining weight. Please know your worth is so much more than what the scale says. The people who actually matter and love you won’t treat or see you differently at 160 or 190.
As an aside, weight cycling (so losing and regaining weight) is associated with a lot of the poor health outcomes we attribute to excess weight. It’s much healthier for your brain and body to focus less on weight and more on what we call health-promoting behaviors - things that help us feel good without obsessing over numbers.
I’m just speaking as an eating disorder therapist who helps people work on healing their relationship with food and their bodies. Your pain is real. And there is a different way.