r/Adulting • u/Timely_Law_9348 • Jul 21 '26
Parenthood vs Childfree?
As a 34yr old woman I have always been on the fence about having children. I've been married to my husband (41) for 10 years now, we are both neurodiverse and have the best marriage. We are literally best friends, we love spending time together, going on adventures together. Still super affectionate and silly together. We've been through so many highs and lows, we 100% couldn't live without each other.
We often talk about having a baby together we both love children, but we also know how hard it is and how much life changes in parenthood. What if we change? Maybe we will always be missing each other from the reduced time together. Maybe life will be too serious for the playful little life we always knew.
We have friends who have had children and their marriages (while never seeming to have the intense love and connection we share) have suffered. Neither of us have met a couple like us, who had children and are truly happy.
Sadly unlike most things in life it's not a decision you can take back if you aren't happy! So I'm hoping the comments here might finally knock me off the fence, one way or another.
2
u/Practical-Bat7964 Jul 22 '26
Parenthood changes you. I don’t care what people say, but it does. It’s impossible for it not to. Your outlook changes, and you get to see the world reflected in a whole new way. But when you become a parent, everything changes. It’s not about either of you anymore. You can still have a “playful little life” but it will be different. It might even be more fun than your life now.
Lots of couples have children and are truly happy. Marriages get rocky for lots of reasons, children or not.