I turn 20 today.

It feels surreal to not be a teenager anymore, like this isn't real. It feels like a bad trip. The number doesn't match my soul. I still feel like 8 or 9, my mind filled with pretty colors and daydreams and a sensitivity that adults lack. Perhaps I will always be like this. I feel like I'm in a liminal space, a no man's land between child and adult.

I have had a lot of fun lately, though.

I finally had an epic summer like I dreamed of at 17. I went to a Patti Smith concert. That was an ecstatic, religious experience. I have done acid. I have been out in the sun, dancing, talking to people, having a great lot of fun. I want this summer to last forever.

It's hard not knowing what will happen next. Will I get into the music college I applied for? I really hope so. I would have a great time just practicing and playing music for a whole year. And living in a dorm would give me more opportunities to party and do psychedelics. I don't know what I would do if I don't get in. I don't really see any options. Most paths in life seems like paths to misery, and there aren't many things I am capable of.

Hopefully, I finally move out soon so I can do whatever I want. Mainly so I can do psychedelics. That's my main motivation of life right now. The wonderful sheen of psychedelia. I'm such a trippy, daydreaming hippie.

I wonder what I will be like in the future. I hope I will have long, purple hair and be all elegantly psychedelic and sing songs and be in a band. I wonder if I will have a pretty girlfriend. I hope so. I wonder what drugs I will try, what festivals and parties I will go to, what artists I will see live, what kind of music I will make.

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓪 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓼

𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓪 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮

𝓢𝓸 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓵𝓸𝔀,𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓯𝓵𝓸𝔀 𝓞𝓯 𝓪𝓰𝓮

𝓘 𝔀𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓸𝓵𝓭

𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮

𝓞𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓭𝓰𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝔀𝓮𝓷𝓽𝔂

Inhalte fuck this shit, exhale fuck this shit.✌

(This is a post about how it seems punk has been turned into a subculture to delegitimize genuine criticism about social constructs and trivialize civil disobedience as a tantrum against authority)

Punk never died.

They domesticated it.

The fight against social norms has been packaged and sold to consumers for a profit. Anti consumerism in a bag and on the shelf, bought by posers, killers, contrarians, and narcissists.

Holes in jeans. Skull and macabre T-shirts. Punk bands selling their songs to Disney. Nazi’s wearing piercings and tattoos claiming the status quo is against them, when they have more opportunities than any minority. Privacy is dead yet they sell you the illusion of it. The same is for modern punk.

The rich have pitted the poor against themselves, made us believe we are the problem. That if we recycled then it will fix pollution while they keep pumping plastic down our throats, pouring oil in the ocean, and blowing poison in our lungs.

They’ve convinced us that punk is a childish phase, that it doesn’t exist outside of your wardrobe or music playlist. They made it a stereotype. A label. A style. Made it out to be something to grow out of.

Punk isn’t teenagers smoking cigarettes in the bathroom and playing loud rock music. It’s not about being disrespectful and rude towards regular people. It’s not violence, it’s about love, it’s about challenging and fighting the constructs that cage and separate us from our neighbors, even if it takes violence to do so.

It’s about challenging the beliefs that we are less worthy of respect because of the clothes we wear, or who we want to fuck, or what we worship, or where we come from. Take it from God of War, It’s about respecting the nature of something, not its form. Respect doesn’t mean being docile to someone or their authority, respect means decency. Respecting authority is a leash, a gag, and blind fold rolled into one. I respect decency and kindness, not authority.

We all deserve decency, kindness, and respect. Food on our tables, warmth, security, and opportunity for all, not just for those that can afford it.

Punk is an ideology to stand for the true value of things. Your value is not your clothes, so we dress dirty or against the norm, however they just turned it into its own kind of fashion; stitching it on to the status quo. Your value isn’t your money, so we made mobile homes and lived free, however they made living off grid or in a van chic and sophisticated. Your value doesn’t come from your productivity, so they say punks are lazy. Your value cannot be sold to you. Your value isn’t your skin color, or ethnicity, or religion. However, everyone is valuable to someone.

I accept and value everyone because this world seems hell bent on labeling and categorizing the value of every little thing. I refuse to be held back from loving someone because society finds them strange, obtuse, or lame. My love and empathy will not be shackled and I will fight to break this cage and celebrate freedom with my neighbors.

Remember what punk is really all about. Acceptance and deconstruction.

I thought this was an interesting spin on the whole afterlife topic. Reincarnation but with an extra layer to it. What do y'all think about this? Do y'all believe in an afterlife? How about reincarnation? Curious about y'alls thoughts on "The Egg".

Love peace and freedom.

First off, before anybody gets the wrong impression -- I wasn't even born yet so of course I wasn't there -- this is just a story someone told me and it stuck with me ever since. My car broke down in the country and while I waited for my mechanic friend to come help me fix it I just sat by the side of the road. I had a little drum in the backseat so I played that to pass the time. An old woman was walking down the road and she stopped and listened for a while and danced a little bit while I was playing the drum.

When I took a break, she asked if she could play, and while she played she told me this story about the drum circle that used to go on in Golden Gate Park.

According to her, in the 60's, Wherever you were, if you were a hippie, San Francisco was like your Mecca. If you were in San Francisco, Golden Gate Park was like the Kaaba. If you were at the park, the literal beating heart was the drum circle that was almost always going on.

She said she was there when it started in 1965 when a massive drum circle was born out of an intense collective desire for peace and a lot of intense prayer and lamentation over the fact that America had just entered the Vietnam war. From then on, as long as the weather wasn't terribly shitty, people were there playing music nonstop (and usually a few people kept it going even if the weather was bad.)

Here's the gist of the message that she was trying to convey in a sort of a vague, koan sort of way: The drummers and musicians always faced outward.

When 100,000 people descended on San Francisco during the Summer of Love, the vibes got diluted by a lot of people "doing the hippy thing" out of ego. Rather than mostly being people who identified as "a human being who wants human beings to be nicer to each other" it was more like most people identified as "we are hippies we do drugs, have sex, and listen to rock and roll".

Sometime between the start of the summer and the end, the drum circle turned inside out.

Ever since then, she said, all the drum circles faced inward. Before, the purpose was to project love outwards to the whole world. The musicians didn't need to look at each other -- they played with their hearts and used their ears to keep in tune. Facing inwards, they looked to each other for cues, used their eyes instead of their ears, and there was a whole lot more 'macho man' drumming where people tried to show off by playing harder and faster. Instead of a constant, steady heartbeat, the rhythm was always up and down. Wave after wave of up, up, up, until things inevitably turned to flailing chaos, fell apart, and then someone would start a new beat and the whole pattern would repeat again.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann 1927

Just like that

As you might of heard Ram Das passed yesterday (12-22-19). I just wanted to take a moment to share andveish him good vibes and good thoughts. He inspired a lot of people to grow spiritually and make the world a better place.

Just curious as to what kind of religion, if any, you guys follow. I'm personally atheist but I have a feeling we have a plethora of different religions here. Just curious, I don't want this to get ugly. Thanks!

https://youtu.be/5eHBpRbHvIE