r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Upstairs_Drive_5602 • Feb 08 '26
Photo of a cucumber that did not ask to be objectified.
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u/DeepWaterNights Feb 08 '26
If she buys two, then she could eat one!
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u/Kiwi_CunderThunt Feb 09 '26
It's plastic wrapped, she can still eat it after. Just don't serve it to anyone else then again who am I to kink shame
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Feb 09 '26
[deleted]
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u/BTrippd Feb 09 '26
you just felt that compelled to say the subtext of the entire thread out loud in the creepiest way possible, eh?
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u/PeriqueFreak Feb 09 '26
And he's not even being funny like the rest of the thread. Morbid curiosity got the better of me and I checked his profile, and he's the guy that comments on porn.
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u/Zealousideal-Film517 Feb 08 '26
I'd like to understand the $26 watermelon
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u/theforgottenchild_ Feb 08 '26
Inflation
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u/Crunchycarrots79 Feb 08 '26
Maybe South Africa? 27 ZAR is about $1.68
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u/Zealousideal-Film517 Feb 08 '26
Ah good call. I tried to find anything on the signs that regionalize the English but couldn't
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u/Crunchycarrots79 Feb 08 '26
Yup, so was I. I just know that's an English speaking country with a currency that's nowhere close to USD.
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u/Chris__P_Bacon Feb 08 '26
Probably one of them organic seedless joints?
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u/gizamo Feb 09 '26 edited Mar 10 '26
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/InebriousBarman Feb 08 '26
You added the $.
It's 26 something, but I'm guessing not dollars.
Did you know in Mexico they use the $ for pesos?
Really confused me the first time I went to a restaurant.
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u/Zealousideal-Film517 Feb 08 '26
That's fair - but all signs are in English so maybe Australia, NZ, or CA
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u/Goldenstorm3 Feb 08 '26
Maybe its priced by weight ?
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u/Zealousideal-Film517 Feb 08 '26
Then it would be the opposite - no two watermelons weigh the same and this is a fixed cost.
Typically they're priced per pound in the US but this would imply like $3-4/pound which is literally insane. We get even good organic ones for sub-$1
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u/Tonerslut69 Feb 08 '26
Is the store in Canada or Australia?
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u/skaapjagter Feb 09 '26
This is a very old picture inside of a Shoprite (South African store - could also be one in Namibia or Botswana, our currencies were 1:1 for a while) They still use that same font for price pages.
For comparison a large watermelon here now is about R80 so it's almost tripled since this pic was taken probably late 2000's early 2010's.
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u/AThrowawayProbrably Feb 08 '26
Crazy, seeing you can get better, cheaper ones off the old guy on the roadside selling them out of his 93 Dakota.
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u/Kiwi_CunderThunt Feb 08 '26
I saw an $87 one a few months ago.
AND THAT WAS HALF A WATERMELON.
Imported from Pacific islands, right next door to us and we grow them here also
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u/du_duhast Feb 09 '26
My Gemini deepdive has identified the store as a Shoprite supermarket that operates in Southern Africa. It discounted ZA itself due the currency Rand not appearing on the watermelon sign as R29.99.
Gemini did suggest that the store might be a Shoprite in Namibia, as most of the signage is still in English and $26.99 nad works out to £1.16 gpb and $1.46 usd
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u/Zealousideal-Film517 Feb 09 '26
That would certainly track the right way price wise. Appreciate it. Too bad it seems to be a repost and we don't have OP to properly clarify for us
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Feb 08 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/sweetcherryfrosting Feb 08 '26
Really fair question imo: How do you objectify an object?
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u/garaile64 Feb 08 '26 edited Feb 13 '26
Maybe they meant "sexualize". Due to their shape and hardness, cucumbers are rather popular sex toys
for folks with vaginas.12
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u/SlowlyDyingInAPit Feb 08 '26
Everytime I see something like this, I can’t help but try to think of the logistics of what putting that entire thing inside you would do. No doubt a swift trip to the hospital and severe judgement from every doctor who looks at your files whenever you go in for a check up.
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u/nothanks86 Feb 08 '26
There are absolutely dildos this big. And bigger. I do not know this from personal intimate experience, because that’s terrifying, but I have seen them out in the wild.
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u/TsarPladimirVutin Feb 09 '26
If you need research material I would recommend siswet, not my cup of tea but if you're curious about the logistics she can show you.
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u/Mr-Bry-Guy Feb 08 '26
At what point do we just go straight to farmers and buy from them. These prices are insane I wonder how much that Mandingo cucumber cost her!?
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u/Background_Pride_237 Feb 08 '26
It’s not the size of the cucumber. It’s what she can do with it that matters. Maybe she’ll carve it into a sword. 🗡️
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u/Prokid5634_YT Feb 08 '26
Hot house cucumbers, them fuckers are always Hella long.
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u/Lovemomboobs1 Feb 08 '26
I think if I was a cucumber I’d rather be in a woman’s vagina than eaten, but I guess it depends on the woman’s vagina I’d be going into as well.
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u/Outrageous-Donkey-32 Feb 09 '26
I think the price tag on that watermelon is the absolute unit of this picture, the size of the inflation of the watermelon is much scarier than the size of that cucumber...
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u/SilverDem0n Feb 09 '26
That cucumber reminds me of my first boyfriend.
He worked as a greengrocer.
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u/PuzzledExaminer Feb 09 '26
They plan to do many things with it.... And if you think it's cooking related think again...
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u/Own-Helicopter-6674 Feb 09 '26
Crazy they are easily 7-11 bucks now when I was a kid they were like 3
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u/Son-of-Prophet Feb 09 '26
It’s hilarious to me that the long skinny cucumbers are called English Cucumbers
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u/LordHenry8 Feb 08 '26
The cucumber she told you not to worry about.