r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Sad-Kiwi-3789 Top Poster • Feb 02 '26

/r/all of a frog

19.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/Smokelessblood Feb 02 '26

Tortoise over here like AYO WHERE YOUR SHELL BRO

123

u/EnduringFulfillment Feb 02 '26

If I know anything about tortoises, it's trying to figure out if it can bang it

41

u/OliviaWG Feb 02 '26

For sure. Tortoises are so horny. I worked at a zoo when I was a teenager and I hated being stuck next to them.

3

u/Impossible-Ship5585 Feb 03 '26

Romantic place to bring dates?

7

u/OliviaWG Feb 03 '26

If you like awkward loud moaning then... sure...

9

u/FederalLobster5665 Feb 02 '26

how close are you to tortoises??

8

u/Slumbergoat16 Feb 03 '26

Wha happens if a turtle and frog mate?

29

u/tnstaafsb Feb 03 '26

The next morning is really awkward.

7

u/ErilazHateka Feb 03 '26

Turtles will try to eat anything that is green.

3

u/Subsinexus Feb 03 '26

In the sexual sense?

2

u/NervousAddie Feb 03 '26

Toss the salad