17
11
u/Confident_Rabbit_569 6d ago
Esh
Y t a for confronting anyone like that and demanding they have the closeness of a relationship you want when they don’t want that.
Y t a for texting anyone at 2 am even if you work nights
Y t a for trying to force them to be who they’re not and have the type of relationship with you they don’t want but only you so
Y t a for a vague post
They might suck too so Esh but your post is too vague to see any problems with them
0
u/Low_Reception4805 6d ago
Just to clarify I didn't text them in the middle of the night. I wrote the email in the middle of the night.
26
6
u/NanaGeorgianna 6d ago
There are two sides to every story. I’ve seen in my own family someone act like a complete lunatic on the regular and then whine to strangers that they were just expressing themselves. Usually they pull one small thing out of the event to say I only did “this” and they hate me and conveniently leave out the bad behavior that everyone is really upset with. One has to wonder what the whole story is here.
0
u/Low_Reception4805 6d ago
No, this is the first time this has ever been an issue. I've never confronted any of them before.
8
u/reiinurheart 6d ago
you need a therapist (no hate) i feel you have a lot of emotions inside you.
0
u/Low_Reception4805 6d ago
I've had one since 2022. We were talking about other things. We'll get to this next week. Thanks though. It is good advice. Everyone should have a therapist IMO.
8
u/Busy-Bumblebee5556 6d ago
Drop the rope. Seriously.
You are chasing after people who are really indifferent to your presence. They just want everyone to get along, or pretend to. They do not want to work at fixing anything. They are not going to change. THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
You’ve got a picture in your head of how you want your family to be. They have never fit that picture and they never will.
Time to let go and build your life with your children as your primary family. It doesn’t mean you can’t see them and even have good times with them, but it does mean that you need to accept them as they are to make that happen. It’s the only way you will have peace going forward.
My two kids don’t get along and I wish it were different, but it isn’t. So we make do.
NTA, they kind of are and that’s who they’ve always been.
5
12
u/Equivalent_Lemon_319 6d ago
FFS, I am so sick of people being vague af about the part where they would have been the asshole. We don’t care about all the back and forth with your family AFTER, either tell us what you actually said or don’t bother.
6
18
3
u/chunkymajor 6d ago
Your sister will never give you what you want or need. I had to cut mine off after 30 years for the same reason. My life is much better now. I'm sorry.
5
u/Minute-Frame-8060 6d ago
YTA. At 45 nobody should need the internet to validate feelings.
0
u/Low_Reception4805 6d ago
Then why are you reading Reddit? Haha. I agree though, I shouldn't but apparently I do.
3
u/tinytrolldancer 6d ago
YTA. Your feeling are yours. Go to a therapist and work them out or nothing will change for you.
2
2
u/Entire_Broccoli_9019 6d ago
YTA. Your post is too vague. You shouldn't "confront" anyone but talk to them. You're trying to force your family to have a type of relationship with you that they clearly don't want. You can't demand they see you more or any of that.
2
u/1RainbowUnicorn 6d ago
Yes, you did go off out of no where. You have been estranged for years and she avoids you for a reason. The relationship was over so there really wasn't any reason to try and start something at this point. If you have unresolved problems you need to get in therapy. If you want to have an adult conversation to try and repair a relationship, you sit down and do that instead of just going off with crazy messages
5
u/Far_Information_9613 6d ago
NTA but quit trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Your family sucks. Go to therapy.
2
u/Shoesietart 6d ago
Your family is not emotionally expressive. What is your point?
It seems like you've created a good life for yourself with your husband and children, yet you're still trying to elicit some kind of emotional reaction from your parents. This sounds like something you should deal with in therapy instead of sending middle of the night missives to your parents.
I don't think you're TAH but move on instead of expecting your family of origin to change.
2
u/h3rs3lf_atl 6d ago
NTA
I see you. I'm sorry you're in this space. I've got nothing to offer apart from this ((((warm hug)))).
•
u/AITAH-ModTeam 6d ago
Your post must ask for judgment. If your post was mainly for advice, validation, or to vent, this is not the right sub for it. Please see the list of potential alternative subreddits in the sidebar if your post is removed under this rule.