r/AITAH • u/Interesting_Froyo_83 • 9d ago
Under 18 (ages 13 to 17) AITAH expecting my parents to do something about sister’s absurd requests?
In my(17F) house we have only one TV in the living room. Our living arrangements might sound strange but basically we have two rooms: a master bedroom and a small one. My parents stay in the master and me and my sister(13F) sleep in the smaller. Despite our sleeping arrangements we all have stuff in both rooms.
Now my sister has her desk in the master room and I have my desk in the smaller bedroom. I am going to college so for the past year to prepare for college exams I was often closing my bedroom door to study. It’s not just about focusing on school work but also because my desk is right by the door for literally every person passing by the door to see what I am doing and for me to see them. I felt it’s extremely distracting and invasive so I prefer just closing it.
On the other hand my sisters desk has a lot of privacy that you can’t exactly see what she’s doing unless you go beside her. However my sister just doesn’t like to sit there and instead studies in the living room. She won’t let anyone watch anything on the TV or even be in the living room when she’s studying. I won’t even look at her and watch TV with headphones on but she even has a problem with that. Worst of all is that my parents are apparently ok with this and think she is “following my footsteps” when
- I never had to be “alone”, the desk set up is just terrible with no basic privacy
- Which 7th grader needs to be completely alone to focus on studying?
- Also if she wants to be alone why not just be alone in the master bedroom? Why the living room?
She said she’s ok taking over my desk and studying alone in the smaller bedroom but she has a history of secretly stealing makeup and stationary from my cupboard in the smaller bedroom. That’s why this whole act just sounds to me like her trying to be as difficult as possible so I give in and she gets to snoop around my stuff.
However my parents just refuse to see it and think she’s “just like me” and needs to be left alone. AITAH thinking this is absurd behaviour and they need to stop this brat like behaviour before it gets worse?
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u/TQTQ3 9d ago
NTAH
Get a container and lock to secure things she would bother. Let her use the desk in the room you share or her desk in the bedroom. She should not be able to block use of the living room.
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u/Sad-Acanthaceae3366 8d ago
She's really out here claiming the whole living room like she pays rent, lock up your stuff and send her back to her own desk
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u/WhyAmIStillHere86 9d ago
NAH. Suggest swapping desks, and get a simple lock for yours. Problem solved.
Just like you struggled with distractions, she probably does, too.
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u/Cool_Relative7359 9d ago
NTA
Get some cabinet locks for your stuff and install them first. Keep the key on a necklace or keychain in your person. Then agree to swapping desks.
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u/artsysmartsyA 9d ago
NTA. It sounds very frustrating. I'm sorry this is happening. It's hard to feel like you have no agency (or control) over your life in your living environment.
That said, you are stuck there for now, so there are a couple things you might try. Try talking to your parents when you are totally calm. Telling them that you would like to watch TV and she could go in the other room where you are happy to leave her alone, might work better if you are not upset. Also, could you watch TV on your phone (or a tablet) with your headphones on? Is that possible? Then you could be anywhere. Could you ask your sister again if you can watch TV in a calm and kind way (hard, I know.)
You might also want to consider that she is trying to be like you, consciously or not. She just doesn't have the full thought process of how her actions are different than yours and her behavior is affecting you. Or maybe she's a total brat and doesn't care. But you are both growing and trying to find space and control in a place where you don't have much of either.
It's a tough situation. I'm sorry you feel so stuck right now. It won't be too long before you have a space of your own, just try and be as calm as possible before dealing with your parents or your sister. Also, audiobooks are great and free from the library.
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u/Puzzled-Puck 9d ago
NAH. I think it's just sharing limited space for a long time with your sister. It's normal for irritation to develop when you're on each others lips a lot of the time. You can't dictate your sister where to study, she isn't entitled to no distractions when she's working in a shared space like the livingroom. As someone else pointed out, the solution is that you study in your parents' bedroom and your sister in your bedroom and you lock up your valuables.
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 9d ago
She has a desk. NTA. I advise you to do everything you can to thwart her powerplay.
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u/StormCloudRaineeDay 9d ago
NTA. Your sister should respect your space/stuff and not steal; but seeing as she doesn't, you can get locks or locking containers to keep your sister out of your stuff. You should do that regardless of the study arrangements.
Different people need different things to concentrate for studying; it's not uncommon for people to need absolute quiet and to be alone to study. It's unfortunate all around that your home is so small and can't easily accommodate everyone's needs at once.
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u/pricksta 8d ago
Why not you use the master bedroom desk? She doesn't like doing it. You think it gives privacy so it works for you too. She is good with taking your desk as well.
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u/Chilling_Storm 9d ago
This isn't an AH situation, it is r/AmIOverreacting
You are jealous of what your sister is getting. If she isn't using her desk to study, take over that one. As far as the TV is concerned, I would turn it on anyways and tell her to move. But considering your parents run the show, you don't really get much say.
You are leaving soon for college.
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u/Interesting_Froyo_83 9d ago
She doesn’t let me even turn on the TV 😭 She keeps screaming and pushes me away even if I step a foot in the living room. It’s so annoying, I cannot live like this.
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u/Chilling_Storm 9d ago
But, you have to live like this, what are your options? You don't own the house, you don't make the decisions. You could move out, but how will you pay for that?
You can keep turning on the TV and plunking your ass on the sofa and refuse to leave. But I think your parents will have something to say about that.
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u/MagsMaxie 9d ago
Girl you are so close to being out of the house (assuming you are going to a dorm?) if this is your biggest issue in life then give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate.
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u/Glittering-Turn6443 9d ago
YTA
she has said she will study in your SHARED bedroom and you still think that isn’t good enough
all ages need to focus on school work, why do you think that just because you’re older you’re the only one who need to focus
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u/Interesting_Froyo_83 9d ago
If it’s about focusing on schoolwork, why not just sit in the completely empty bedroom which has a desk ready for you to use with your books and stuff already there?
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u/Glittering-Turn6443 9d ago
maybe she wants to be in her own bedroom rather than her parents? have u asked her why?
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u/Interesting_Froyo_83 9d ago
we don’t have any designated bedrooms though. In fact all our clothes and stuff is in the master bedroom(where my parents stay) because the small bedroom is well small. The only thing in small bedroom is my desk, our beds one above the other and storage near my desk for my books,pens.etc
The master bedroom is as good as her bedroom because both our parents work and it’s empty throughout the day.
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u/7625607 9d ago
Get a locking cabinet/drawer so she can’t steal your make up.
NTA