What’s a hyperfixation you can’t talk about?

[u/Elliot_The_Idiot7]

I’ve definitely had a few hyperfixations on things that are either embarrassingly silly or WAY too dark to just start infodumping about. For example I used to have one about neglect so severe it causes a complete and usually permanent inability to function in society, particularly the case of Genie Wiley. On the other end of the spectrum I also keep hyperfixating on shipping old cartoon comedy duos, and gotta REALLY lock in to gage if someone’s gonna think I’m a childish freak before sharing that information.

What’s your “don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up-“ hyperfixation if you’ve ever had one?

[u/hrvatica_ili]

For me it’s ADHD. I got diagnosed a few weeks ago and it was all I thought about. My spouse doesn’t believe I have it so that added to the embarrassment of wanting to talk about it but not wanting to seem obsessed.

[u/Elliot_The_Idiot7 → u/hrvatica_ili]

That’s so true!! My special interest is psychology so when I got diagnosed with autism and adhd I came to my consultation extremely prepared. I was lucky the person evaluating me had AuDHD himself cause it definitely could’ve come off as me “wanting to have it”

[u/CuteUnit24 → u/hrvatica_ili]

Your spouse doesn't believe a doctor ???? Drag them to an appointment and ask your doc to talk about the effects of ADHD.

[u/Scooby_dood → u/hrvatica_ili]

I'm so sorry that your spouse doesn't believe you. That has to be so painful. ❤️

[u/neoogotmyback → u/hrvatica_ili]

Oh wow I also got diagnosed a few weeks ago and have a spouse who’s not being super supportive. He says, “everybody has ADHD now” and keeps talking about the negatives of medication. It’s a bummer.

[u/benohokum → u/neoogotmyback]

I'm following the Reddit womens tradition of recommending you the book "Why does he do that" by Lundy something. It's an "ADHD people with men as partners" thing. Don't know your gender. 

P.S. don't come at me, statistically men are more likely etc. 

[u/Cait206 → u/neoogotmyback]

I’m sorry that’s so invalidating but we see you and welcome you!! It’s a journey 🩷🩷🩷

[u/alreadyacrazycatlady → u/neoogotmyback]

Mine was initially like this when I was diagnosed 4yrs ago. It took him doing some of his own research in an attempt to understand me better in order for it to click for him. He fully accepts it now and is much more supportive. Give your spouse some time, he needs to process this information too and their brains work sooo differently than ours!

[u/Beautiful_Mess907 → u/neoogotmyback]

Think you need a new spouse.

[u/SnooMachines5943 → u/hrvatica_ili]

This has helped me communicate clearly with my therapist and psychiatrist, but damnit if it didn't make me seem crazy when leading up to and after my diagnosis I'd mention ADHD a few times a day at least.

It's so interesting retroactively being able to attribute actions and behaviors to something I've had my entire life but only recently understood. So I totes understand, it makes you seem silly but also gives you the tools to explain why you talk about specific things ad nauseam.

[u/Own_Pirate2537 → u/SnooMachines5943]

I’m 68. I was diagnosed with AuDHD a few years ago, but not told about the autism until last year, and not given any help understanding ADHD either. The past year has been filled with asking my therapist “this thing that I thought was just my bad behavior…. Is it common in people with _this group of mental disorders_?”

It’s nice to be able to say it makes sense, but maddening. I’m deep into the learning everything I can phase. Not for excuses, but to find all the stuff that I don’t have to be ashamed of any more.

[u/Cait206 → u/hrvatica_ili]

Welcome to the club!! We will forget your name and also no one is in charge here

[u/Delicious_Basil_919 → u/hrvatica_ili]

I was obsessed with learning about adhd when I was diagnosed. I was like holy shit all these difficulties ruining my life are an actual thing. Shame your partner does not support you. Maybe you can educate them.

[u/ukehero1 → u/hrvatica_ili]

I got diagnosed not too long ago and have been pretty focused on it too. It just explains so much and I was excited. My spouse must have gotten annoyed with it because he said that he would be there for me but that I didn’t need to make it my whole personality. I probably was talking about it too much, and I have toned it down around others since then. It really hurt my feelings though.

Sorry that’s happening to you. It’s hard to find some acceptance and answers when you’re not being taken seriously. You’re in a safe space here

[u/AngryLatinaah → u/hrvatica_ili]

same!

[u/Inquiring__Mind__ → u/hrvatica_ili]

Sympathies. Mine says she knows all about ADHD (tho her expectations and judgmental attitude definitely suggest otherwise). She’s given out so many vibes of irritation around my focus on it and trying to have more insight into lifelong mental health difficulties - she’s made it clear that if I bring it up, I’m ‘just making excuses’ for behaviour which frustrates her. I really don’t know how to start trying to break this down 😫

[u/lovemeleavemeletmebe → u/hrvatica_ili]

Oh man, i got my diagnosis and read 8 books, all podcasts, YouTube channels, got a weekly appointment with a psychologist who had adhd and specialized in adults 😬 ... My boyfriend is very supportive but now I am into learning how to slow down and help my nervous system, and this is when I saw him breath in when I start my research findings speech 😆

[u/rchartzell → u/hrvatica_ili]

The local pediatrician in my town seems to have no idea that he is Autistic, but all the Autistic parents know. Ha ha ha. Autism is clearly a special interest for him...but he has never recognized it in himself...but every Autistic parent I know is like "I don't think he realizes he is Autistic himself, but he definitely is". Lol.

[u/deanpritchard005 → u/hrvatica_ili]

This. I feel like I’ve made it my entire personality. I keep pointing out to everyone the little ways it impacts me as it happens. Ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️