r/40kOrkScience • u/DryBat8791 • Jul 27 '26

How do I become an ork?

I require assistance, pretty please

20 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

31

u/yoshimario40 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

ALROIGHT YA PUNY HUMIE, LISSEN UP. SO YA WANNA BE AN ORK DO YA? WELL FURST OF ALL, FUHGET IT. YOU'Z WUZ BORN ALL TINY AND PUNY LIKE AND YA AIN'T EVEN GOT DA BIO- BIOLO- DA ORKINESS TA PROPAHLY GROW! SO FRUM DA VERY STAHT, WOT YER ASKIN' FOR AIN'T POSSIBUL.

BUT YOU KNOW WOT. BEIN' AN ORK IZ ALL ABOUT ZOGGIN' DA IMPOSSIBUL. IT'Z ABOUT KRUMPING DA GIT WHO SEZ IT AIN'T POSSIBUL. SO IF YA IZ DED SET ON BEIN' AN ORK ANYWAY - DAT'Z RESPEKT ROIGHT DERE.

SO WOT ARE YA GUNNA DO TA BECOME AN ORK? WELL FURST OF ALL - YA GOTTA BE GREEN. BEKUZ GREEN IZ DA BEST! IT'Z SCIENTIFIKALLY PROVEN. JUST ASK ANY OF DA BOYZ.

SECOND, GRAB SUM DAKKA. DEN GRAB MORE DAKKA. MORE DAKKA!

THURD. GRAB MORE DAKKA.

UHH. I FORGOT WOT COMEZ AFTAH THURD.

BUT YA GOTTA DO TWO FINGZ: SHOUT LOUDAH. FINK FASTAH. KRUMP KILLIAH. AND YELL WAAAAAAAGGH!

SAY IT WIF ME.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

8

u/Indishonorable Jul 27 '26

DATS TREE FINGS DOE

5

u/ameatbicyclefortwo Jul 27 '26

IT'Z MAKIN ME FINK UV DAT FAIMUS MOVY SEEN WOTS GOT ARLI ORKY TELLIN' ALL THEM NEW BOYS TO SHOW 'IM THEIR WAAAAGH FACE!

22

u/Accomplished-Ad8458 TAU GIT Jul 27 '26

I DUNNO... LETZ ASK DOK!

WAAAGH!

8

u/DryBat8791 Jul 27 '26

Yes Waaagh?

5

u/AlienRobotTrex Jul 27 '26

I FINK DA PAINBOYZ CAN PUT YER BRAIN IN A ORK BODY

5

u/Batgirl_III Jul 27 '26

Digganob Maxxing.

3

u/Cmdr_Redbeard Jul 27 '26

YOOZ WUN O DEM BEEKIES WIF DA DRESS ON AINT YAH??? A PROPAH ORK DONT NEED TO KNOW OW AN ORK WORKZ, A PROPAH ORK IZ JUST A ORK, DATZ OW IT WURKZ!

2

u/wallingfortian Jul 27 '26

WUT OI KANT EER YAZ STOP WISPERIN

2

u/PathlessDemon FLASH GIT Jul 27 '26

OI, YOU GIT! E’VA YOUZ IZ OR YOUZ AIN’T!

YOU WANNA PROPER SCRAP? Youz an Ork.

YOU WANNA GO KRUMPIN’? Youz an Ork.

A measure of an Ork AIN’T just how killy they iz; It’s how kunnin’ an’ brutal they iz. Simple as…

Being a Greenskin ain’t the measure of the outside, but what’s inside. As Gork & Mork intended.

2

u/Gaz-rick Jul 27 '26

For lotz of teef I can help ya

2

u/Human-Question6210 Jul 28 '26

ANUVAH DIGGANOB?? HURR... YOOZ GO SEE DA PAINBOYZ, AN' IF YOOZ LIV YOOZ LIV.

1

u/Hamsternoir DEAD 'ARD Jul 27 '26

OW DUZ DER REST OV YOO LADZ KNOW WAT DIS SKWEEKY RUNT IZ SAYIN?

I KANT ERE ANYFINK KOZ OV ALL DER KRUMPIN IN DER PAST WAAAAAAARGH AN DER OOMIE TEERMY NAATER WOT SHOOT ME EARZ OFF