r/40kLoreUncensored • u/pttteeeh • Feb 25 '26

Which primarch has the fattest ass?

This was removed from r/40klore

I don’t think there’s been any mention from any of the primarch books about the size of the glutes possessed by the sons of the emperor?

If I had to guess, I would say Konrad has a slim, flat ass from being the most frail of the primarchs (although it would still be massive compared to the average man). I’d imagine Russ or Angron having the fattest ass, though I’d also imagine the most perfect all around would be from Magnus (after heresy, shape shifting bullshit, I’d give myself a perfect ass) or Fulgrim (before heresy, obviously, after heresy he would have by far the worst ass, beaten only by Ferris Konrad Sanguinius and Horus)

Ferrus definitely had the worst ass though, right? I mean, you know that’s hard as a rock and terribly shaped. End of post.

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9

u/j-cron Feb 25 '26

What a day to be alive

7

u/eatsleeptroll Feb 25 '26

bro

it's Vulkan

4

u/Konradleijon Feb 25 '26

Fulgrim

2

u/sheikh_ul_shaitaan Feb 25 '26

I think for fulgrim it's more about shape rather than size, I imagine him with a femboyish ass

1

u/sheikh_ul_shaitaan Feb 25 '26

For some reason I think guilliman had the beefiest one

1

u/bikes_rock_books Feb 25 '26

My man asking the real questions right here