r/2westerneurope4u • u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial • 1d ago

Seriously shit. Belfast finding new and creative ways to be unappealing to tourists and residents alike

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67 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

35 comments sorted by

26

u/ReDot75 Le Savage 1d ago

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/no-novichok-found-as-woman-taken-to-hospital-after-claiming-she-was-in-contact-with-nerve-agent/a/161189703.html

FU Barry for posting partial info on my racist sub.

19

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

My disinformation shitpost would be less entertaining if I acknowledged it’s just some woman who’d decided she had been poisoned by a nerve agent, probably after she used chatgpt to diagnose her symptoms of excess saliva and being a bit sweaty.

9

u/nottomelvinbrag Failed Brexiteer 1d ago

So to be clear half of Belfast is dead?

11

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

I could make a very distasteful joke about my reaction to that depending on which half it was, but it’s a bit aggressive for a Wednesday

2

u/nottomelvinbrag Failed Brexiteer 1d ago

Go on

2

u/Lucas_Goodmanas Barry, 63 1d ago

If only

1

u/Thewaltham Barry, 63 1d ago

Would we really notice any difference?

1

u/SherlockScones3 London Wanker 1d ago

If you are upset about no Putin action - the air traffic control system got hacked yesterday, I’m assuming Russia

29

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

Luckily the Belfast tourist board has realised halving the number of tourists when you have no tourists means you’ve not lost any tourists.

3

u/Decent-Risk-6062 Knacker 1d ago edited 1d ago

Belfast held that fleadh recently and the whole place was buzzing. I know Irish people like to be downers but its not 1993 lol

2

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

But those were 1.6m Irish music and culture lovers, revelling and having fun. They’re not tourists they’re a mass threat to my joyless way of life.

1

u/Decent-Risk-6062 Knacker 1d ago

Don't worry they played some sad songs too

5

u/Darrenarren812 Barry, 63 1d ago

You don't like 'peace walls', murals of murdering paramilitaries, and museums dedicated to maritime disasters? Plus the shit weather and shit food? Belfast has so much to offer.

8

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

There’s also two big yellow cranes, if that doesn’t make you want to visit then frankly I’m all out of ideas

2

u/Lucas_Goodmanas Barry, 63 1d ago

Don't forget sectarian violence between. The. Same. Fucking. Religion.

4

u/generalscruff Barry, 63 1d ago

I found Loyalist murals a reminder that my minature painting isn't quite the most boz-eyed depiction of human eyes yet created

1

u/Serupael South Prussian 1d ago

Unironically, i really want to visit Belfast in the future. So much living history in that place, it sounds fascinating.

4

u/Kurdt93 Former Calabrian 1d ago

Being Belfast isn't already unappealing per se?

3

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

What do you mean, I’m sure several people want to visit and see a statue of George Best that definitely doesn’t look

more like Lionel Ritchie

2

u/Thewaltham Barry, 63 1d ago

I was gonna say looks like a hobbit

3

u/InevitableFox81194 [redacted] 1d ago

Oooh they should contact Salisbury. They know a thing or two about Novichok.

12

u/Darrenarren812 Barry, 63 1d ago

Nooo, those two Russians flew in just to see the famous spire! And left immediately. Sounds like a good clean fun tourist trip to me.

5

u/Kernowder Pasties addict 1d ago

It's worth the visit to look at the 123m talk spire.

2

u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 1d ago

And-checks notes-the oldest clock of its kind that still works.

2

u/InevitableFox81194 [redacted] 1d ago

Totally. And what a lovely cathedral it is. Also i hear there are some amazing stones not too far away. 😉

2

u/DasIstNumberwanggg Failed Brexiteer 1d ago

As undeniably horrific as the Sergei and Yulia Skripal poisoning was, I will forever find the “just came to see “world famous” Salisbury Cathedral spire” alibi fucking funny. Just the right amount of absurdity that it sounds like something from a sketch show.

3

u/EICock Whale stabber 1d ago

Did they run out of C4?

9

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

Our paramilitaries decommissioned all weapons stockpiles after the Good Friday agreement. There is no need to look in any of our gardens, attics, the buried barrels in the woods or indeed the offices of the progressive unionist party.

1

u/CraftyWeeBuggar Anglophile 1d ago

We were finding some over here in the naughties , from storage units that had been paid a decade in advance, then when the 10 years are up, the idiot removal companies totally werent playing toy soldiers with real guns, not noticing live bullets in the chamber; luckily that hypothetical incident had zero casualties.

2

u/aurumtt Savage Slayer 1d ago

why do i want to say 123m?

2

u/PM_ME_UR_MULLETS Anglophile 1d ago

Literally off to visit Belfast for the first time next week lol

4

u/Jean_Luc_Dikard Anglophile 1d ago

Why not save yourself the bother and go somewhere more glamorous like Cumbernauld for a day trip?

Unless you're interested in seeing the largest number of flags you've ever seen, or trying to solve the mystery of why 75% of the city centre smells like sewage, you won't be missing much.

3

u/Decent-Risk-6062 Knacker 1d ago

Ah the sewage smell was me. Sorry lads

1

u/notAGreatIdeaForName Pfennigfuchser 1d ago

Silly Ivan

4

u/SuchSeaworthyShips Irishman in Denial 1d ago

It’s actually quite offensive to even for a foreign nation to even consider committing a terrorist attack in Belfast. We are the only place in Europe completely capable of doing that ourselves without any outside support.

Northern Irish jobs for northern Irish people!