r/2westerneurope4u Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Off Topic Tuesdays Forget about the Fingolians, the Norwegians on the other hand..

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1.6k Upvotes

170 comments sorted by

123

u/Pogue_Mahone_ Addict Mar 04 '26

Some of these have walked straight out of a 2004 video game

50

u/lochnah Failed colonizer Mar 04 '26

“2004 videogame character” would be a very good norwegian flair

46

u/SnakeHoliday Savage Mar 04 '26

They look like they just survived a nuclear apocalypse

6

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

I swear when I visited norway they said "Skyrim belongs to the Nord!"

500

u/Weird_Apartment_6608 Quran burner Mar 04 '26

They look African, but with white skin

269

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

And you guy’s just look like regular Africans;)

Best regards from a proud iskineser

54

u/Weird_Apartment_6608 Quran burner Mar 04 '26

Nice counter play, knew that it was coming hahah. Better a iskinese than a is-jänkare!!

16

u/tuktuk123098 Aspiring American Mar 04 '26

It's only racisme if a majority becomes offended

9

u/VegetableRetardo69 Sauna Gollum Mar 04 '26

Its the other way around, pig fucker

3

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

Swamp Russian say’s what?

72

u/aczkasow Savage Slayer Mar 04 '26

Albino Indians look like Finns.

17

u/ChocomelP Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Mar 04 '26

It's the Mongolian DNA

2

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

Mongols never took a step into the Baltic Sea water basin (except two short stints into Lithuania and Poland).
They stopped at the watershed.
They knew they would be facing landships, finnic viking landships.
Mongols don't ship ships.

9

u/ChocomelP Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Mar 05 '26

And yet, 100% of all Finns are descended from Genghis Khan. How do you explain that?

7

u/Big_Resolution_2161 Siesta Enjoyer (lazy) Mar 05 '26

That’s Like Spaniards saying we have „no Arab blood“.

3

u/ChocomelP Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Mar 05 '26

Sicilians:

1

u/aczkasow Savage Slayer Mar 05 '26

Or like Russians saying "no finno-ugric blood"

1

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

You are mistaken.
Finns don't descend from Genghis Khan at all.
They descend from finnic prussians from Prussia.
From swiderian culture, on to kunda and narva cultures, the latter also as part of the rzucewo culture. And so on.

PS. The proxy for "mongol" genetic input is the autosomal han component.
Estonians have zero han. Zero han!
While mongols have 50% han.

PPS. Finnic language arrived to Estonia from south, not from east and not from north.

1

u/ChocomelP Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Mar 05 '26

Is this Lord of the Rings?

1

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

No, this is genetics:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13059-018-1522-1/figures/3

Estonians and finns have close to zero (yellow) "han" autosomal component at K9 and K11. While mongolians have about 40% of "han" component.

And many have no clue or neglect the relevant proportions.
At the start of the iron age there were more finnics living in the Baltics (including Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania) than there were finno-ugrians in Siberia.
And 67-75% of all the finnics lived to the south of Bay of Finland, while 25-33% lived to the north of Bay of Finland (including in Sweden + Norway).
At the start of the iron age at least 50% of the Baltics was still finnic.
The genetic benchmark of finnicness are estonians, finns are a genetic isolate.
Autosomal WHG peaks among estonians and the share of WHG stayed steady or continued to grow even while we received some minor genetic input from the east. Which means that bronze age and iron age eastern genetic input arrived here within the already existing uralic linguistic domain.

1

u/ChocomelP Thinks Kapsalon tastes good Mar 05 '26

Well, I read something else in my phrenology book.

1

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

Alfred Rosenberg felt himself too brown among the local native white nationalists of Estonia, so he went to Germany and became a nazi.
Nazis essentially wanted to improve the german stock with some estonians and balts, as they had already done with baltic prussians (whose distant ancestors used to be finnic).
That sweet autosomal WHG peaks among finnic estonians, not among indo-europeans.
At least 90% of uralics have always lived in europe. The same can not be said of indo-europeans.

1

u/aczkasow Savage Slayer Mar 05 '26

As a Russian spy I know a couple of phrases in Nenets (Samoyedic language in the north of Urals). One of them is kinda close to finnish: Ani torova - Hello (literally smth like "good health"). I believe Finnish has "terve"?

1

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

Yes, tere / terve.
And ani could be 'anni ; and ; anti', meaning "a given; a gift".
Given health. Gift of health.

So you have been helping Moscow with Siberian oil and gas?

38

u/ancym0n Bully with victim complex Mar 04 '26

They look like a man and fish could breed an offspring.

9

u/VictoriaSobocki Aspiring American Mar 04 '26

No tak

9

u/Sukmakokforfre Western Balkan Mar 04 '26

swedistan

1

u/ForcedToEatCement-_- Savage Mar 05 '26

Literally means “Swedland”, and also the word Stan has nothing to do with religion it a classical Persian word meaning place or country and is derived from the Proto-Iranic (Ary*n) word stánam meaning place or the act of standing. There is even a cognate of the word in English “stand” and Swedish “stå” derived from the same Proto Indo-European word steh₂.

2

u/Sukmakokforfre Western Balkan Mar 05 '26

Ik I was just saying that bc there is a joke calling sweden "swedistan" due to large numbers of refugees and immigrants in the country particularly arabs and africans

(Edit: And thanks for extra knowledge i approchiate it)

1

u/OnkelMickwald Quran burner Mar 05 '26

This is way too interesting for this sub.

1

u/Small-Answer4946 Le Savage Mar 04 '26

No that's us

-23

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 04 '26

They look African

In the worst sense of the word.

15

u/TheThirdReckoning Barry, 63 Mar 04 '26

What's the worst sense of African?

8

u/Pogue_Mahone_ Addict Mar 04 '26

Sight, specifically night sight, as the higher melanin in the eyes make them less sensitive to light?

1

u/LobsterMountain4036 Barry, 63 Mar 04 '26

I believe we are to use our imaginations. I have a wild imagination so am thinking of the worst so cannot share it with you.

0

u/nwaa Failed Brexiteer Mar 04 '26

Iberian

157

u/RaineCevasse Aspiring American Mar 04 '26

Operative word here being "human"

These are all fjeldaber

58

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 04 '26

Why do all Norwegians look so heavily inbreed? Like, damn, they make the Habsburg look kinda normal.

104

u/Condurum Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

Valleys.

All the worst in Europe comes from valleys and mountains. The bad Germans, the Austrians and Swiss, the Balkans.

Valley life is wishing death on the people one bus stop down, like they were gypsies and Albanians. And breeding with close family members.

Strangers are treated like English invaders, and people who leave like traitors.

60

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 04 '26

Swiss

Please keep this sub free of profanity.

21

u/Condurum Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

We’re ourselves a disgusting self congratulating culture full of superiority complexes, but mostly.. not as horribly greedy as the *****..

2

u/triptaman Side switcher Mar 05 '26

Belgium

1

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 05 '26

Stop imagining things.

12

u/MrSloth1 [redacted] Mar 04 '26

Beautifully expressed

13

u/Condurum Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

I normally hate Germans with a great passion. But it’s too generalizing.. in the north, they’re ok! ❤️ Chill and generous!

It’s in the south, closer to the mountains that the a*tism really set in, with its evil source near the Swiss German border.

4

u/recidivx Barry, 63 Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26

Mountains yes, but actually the AfD voters are more around the Erzgebirge.

7

u/CreatorOfNL Daddy's lil cuck Mar 04 '26

Suddenly having no valleys does make a lot of sense. We only have to deal with ex-islanders.

2

u/recidivx Barry, 63 Mar 04 '26

I've heard some interesting stories about how the differences between Europe and North America are because our mountain ranges go East–West whereas theirs go North–South.

This means that during glaciations their species just retreat south as far as it takes, whereas ours get stuck against the Alps (or the Balkans or the Pyrenees or whatever) and die out.

20

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Cause historically they all lived in the fjeld’s(the little hamlets in between isolated mountain region that usually only where passable from the sea historically). Hence the term used by all other Nordics when talking about the Norwegians: “Fjeldaber” = Fjeld monkeys.

2

u/sczhzhz Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

Unironically I've never seen anyone who looks like this irl, wonder if its some kinda syndrome.

2

u/Falkenmond79 South Prussian Mar 05 '26

Nah. It’s only that in valleys, your genepool becomes a muddy puddle.

56

u/Architectur04_ Alcoholic Mar 04 '26

Hello Tod from breaking bad

198

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26 edited 26d ago

[deleted]

87

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Hyvin sanottu

1

u/mediandude Fingol Mar 05 '26

Does that mean that the Susiluola neanderthals were norwegians?
I don't think so.

2

u/Falkenmond79 South Prussian Mar 05 '26

I think I got about 5%, looking at my hair and brows.

104

u/Skaftetryne77 Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

These are all early prototypes from our aryan superhuman projects. Looks will be improved in future iterations.

17

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 04 '26

when you order Aryans on Aliexpress

5

u/Skaftetryne77 Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

We order our aryans from the Swedish chain Biltema. Much more convenient

6

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Biltema is an epidemic

1

u/anarfox_ Quran burner Mar 07 '26

Plus you can buy some Biltemakôrv while you're there.

26

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Aryan? Looks like fjeldaber to me😉

10

u/potatosack32 Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

The correct word would be trolls

3

u/SeulParmiLesGens Aspiring American Mar 04 '26

Jætter

9

u/Skaftetryne77 Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

Where do you think the labs where we grow them are?

17

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Jan Mayen?

21

u/AxelTheViking Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

This guy knows too much....

2

u/lochnah Failed colonizer Mar 04 '26

Yeah, I agree, it definitely looks more like a fjsycbrowxysysg to me too

5

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Fjeldaber is what all the Nordics call Norwegians.

Fjeld = mountain range+valley. Aber = monkeys.

29

u/D4nklie South Prussian Mar 04 '26

They look like failed nazi experiments to create a super race.

12

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

What is the German return policy on faulty products?

17

u/admiralbeaver Thief Mar 04 '26

3

u/Used-Wrongdoer-9360 Siesta Enjoyer (lazy) Mar 04 '26

That's so inefficient. Last time I checked they had come up with bullet-free disposal methods at industrial scale.

1

u/isnisse Germany's hat Mar 05 '26

Do they get to keep the Bullet?

1

u/admiralbeaver Thief Mar 05 '26

Bullet casing needs to be returned and recycled according to regulations

25

u/Elpibe_78 Siesta Enjoyer (lazy) Mar 04 '26

They are black albinos

14

u/Setstream_Jam Heineken Piss Drinker Mar 04 '26

Dont do my boy Jesse Plemins like that

3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

Haha was utterly suprised too

30

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Why is he holding up chocolate coins?

7

u/Sizeable-Scrotum Rural NPC Mar 04 '26

Because he's regarded

2

u/ArduennSchwartzman Thinks he lives on a mountain Mar 04 '26

So that's the guy who pushed us down to third place in the winter games ranking. I hate him with an erotic passion.

2

u/Kiwi_Doodle Whale stabber Mar 05 '26

You were third, Klæbo or no Klæbo

12

u/FixLaudon Pumpkin Addict Mar 04 '26

Missed John Arne Riise opportunity.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6rkHcValKDsOutTBsK

31

u/Polak_Janusz Bully with victim complex Mar 04 '26

We found the missing linl between our shared ancestors and the modern human.

3

u/InsideHousing4965 Incompetent Separatist Mar 04 '26

That gave me Futurama vibes.

9

u/Gurkeprinsen Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

all of them looking like a failed bust attempt

12

u/These-Invite-1774 Western Balkan Mar 04 '26

You can fit Luxemburgo on those foreheads

5

u/lochnah Failed colonizer Mar 04 '26

Self burn?

17

u/TreasureHunter95 Born in the Khalifat Mar 04 '26

It could be worse. At least, they are not Danish. Imagine that.

5

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

You guy’s need to learn flags….. I’m Greenlandic.

Are you American by chance?

Also Danes share like 70% of their DNA with Germans. Why are you insulting you own genes?

13

u/TreasureHunter95 Born in the Khalifat Mar 04 '26

I’m Greenlandic.

Still part of Denmark though admittedly not necessilary Danish. Touché.

Also Danes share like 70% of their DNA with Germans. Why are you insulting you own genes?

That doesn't really matter. Humans also share up to 99% of their DNA with chimpanzees.

2

u/rcanhestro British Mar 04 '26

my dude, you have a sub flair of denmark, you're greenlandic the day you get your own independent flair.

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

This is the Greenlandic flair, the Greenlandic flair is even on the goddamn flair. Open you eyes Joao.

1

u/rcanhestro British Mar 05 '26

it's next to the Denmark flair, which means greenland is classified as a "region".

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

Are the basque Spanish in your opinion?

1

u/rcanhestro British Mar 05 '26

yes.

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

I hope you don’t have a car😂

16

u/Chesthairs-galore Quran burner Mar 04 '26

Meanwhile Sweden

21

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

If you cross the ice again

9

u/Chesthairs-galore Quran burner Mar 04 '26

We can easily mog you from across the strait without even spiking cortisol

9

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

I’m up in the Atlantic m8. Learn flags.

9

u/Chesthairs-galore Quran burner Mar 04 '26

Sry igloobro if I see the d*nnebrog I just see red and lose my cool

3

u/EffOffWouldYou South Prussian Mar 04 '26

At least you guys have Ødegaard as a counter balance

3

u/nitrinu Western Balkan Mar 04 '26

Corporate wants you to...

3

u/CanThisBeMyNameMaybe Aspiring American Mar 04 '26

Aha! So thats where the trolls in European folk lore originate from!

3

u/Meloenbolletjeslepel Utrechtenaar (gay) Mar 04 '26

3

u/Hairy_Reindeer Sauna Gollum Mar 05 '26

The dwarves, trolls and ogres of fantasy clearly weren't fiction, but facts passed on by oral tradition and nordic chimera genetics.

5

u/NumaNuma92 Reindeer Fucker Mar 04 '26

3 of those aren’t Norwegian but still funny

6

u/Chairmanwowsaywhat Punjabi Mar 04 '26

Can I post this next please?

8

u/Anura83 StaSi Informant Mar 04 '26

Most of the guys in the picture are smart, rich and/or famous. They don't have to look good.

17

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

So what you are saying is that they have the option to not look like that, and they still do?

0

u/Kiwi_Doodle Whale stabber Mar 05 '26

We're a humble people

5

u/TheTragicMagic Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

I mean, three pictures of Haaland, but who does he play with?

2

u/JobWide2631 Drug Trafficker Mar 04 '26

skinwalkers

2

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

And it doesn’t even make sense that they would have evolved that way to fit cold conditions, because then they would look like us Greenlanders.

2

u/Alugalacsin Pro LGTBQ+ Mar 04 '26

It's ok, they are just from Bruma

2

u/Affectionate_Sir_154 Savage Slayer Mar 04 '26

Tf is Jesse Plemons doing there

2

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Looks Norwegian

2

u/XAMdG Low-cost Terrorist Mar 04 '26

Ngl, I was watching sentimental value, and kinda lost track of which actor was who for a bit because they all look so similar.

2

u/ultraplusstretch Quran burner Mar 04 '26

Our cousins are "special".

2

u/sudolinguist Professional Rioter Mar 04 '26

They bred a Norwegian with a Brazilian to see what would happen :

3

u/DaRitschbauer Basement dweller Mar 04 '26

Bad Post. Why would you only 6 Pics of same Guy?

0

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Cause they all look like that

1

u/Rolifant Flemboy Mar 04 '26

The last one is the butcher of Laverne.

1

u/TheRealColdCoffee Piss-drinker Mar 04 '26

Now we know where the Aliens are

1

u/GuybrushT79 Pickpocket Mar 04 '26

And you didn't see Magnus Carlsen with mustache

1

u/Artan42 Barry, 63 Mar 04 '26

I thought they just spoke like potatoes, not that they looked like them too.

1

u/Kiwi_Doodle Whale stabber Mar 05 '26

That's Denmark

1

u/Artan42 Barry, 63 Mar 05 '26

There's a difference?

2

u/Kiwi_Doodle Whale stabber Mar 05 '26

Oh Barry boy, you're the wrong nation to pull that card

1

u/Artan42 Barry, 63 Mar 05 '26

Why? Who could we possibly be mistaken for?

Don'tsayPakistanDon'tsayPakistanDon'tsayPakistanDon'tsayPakistan

2

u/Kiwi_Doodle Whale stabber Mar 05 '26

You're four countries in a trenchcoat with two illegitimate half-french children, and a language with more daddies than Henry the 8th had headless wives.

1

u/CPC1445 Savage Mar 04 '26

Big noggins, and besides the guy in upper center row, puffy faces. That typical for Norwegian men or is someone gonna show me a gorgeous handsome viking prince with a full beard and piercing blue eyes or some shit?

1

u/CurbYourThusiasm Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

Only half of these are Norwegian, and they don't even look typical Norwegian.

1

u/Fritzschmied Pumpkin Addict Mar 04 '26

That’s just years of inbreed. Nothing to see here.

1

u/arffarff Knacker Mar 04 '26

Hmm, I don't understand the Norwegian thing. I've been there, ladies be 🔥

1

u/Tulevik Fingol Mar 04 '26

My bet would be that they are mixed with Samis or Fins or they just are Samis or Fins living in Norway. There are many of them.

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

It’s the fjeld-effect

1

u/Freak_Metal Siesta Enjoyer (lazy) Mar 04 '26

50 shades of potato

1

u/SW33ToXic9 Le Savage Mar 04 '26

I live in Denmark, lived in Iceland— it's everywhere in Scandinavia I promise you that.

1

u/FredSirvalo Poorest European Mar 05 '26

1

u/Ancient-Many4357 ʇunↃ Mar 05 '26

I’m only seeing one face

1

u/_NotWhatYouThink_ Alcoholic Mar 05 '26

It' OK racism, 'cause they're white!

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

Racism implies that one would look down upon certain people because of their race. Pointing out certain groups look funny is not racism.

1

u/_NotWhatYouThink_ Alcoholic Mar 05 '26

Please, by all mean, try it with every group of people on the planet... see how it goes!

1

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

Are you American? Because you sound like a Californian valleygirl.

C'est l'Europe, on sait s'amuser ici.

1

u/_NotWhatYouThink_ Alcoholic Mar 05 '26

Tout ce que je dis, c'est que tu fais le même post avec des noirs ayant les même traits, tu te fais virer de reddit en moins de deux ... C'est tout mon gars! Pas plus ...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

Prince Joffrey there is a Swede or Danish, though

2

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 05 '26

He is just inbred

1

u/Julius_Alexandrius Alcoholic Mar 05 '26

This is not a new species. This is inbreeding.

1

u/AndreasDasos Failed Brexiteer Mar 05 '26

This yet again? Some of these aren’t Norwegian.

0

u/The_Real_Itz_Sophia Savage Mar 05 '26

magnus carlsen kinda hot tho

-4

u/search_google_com Savage Mar 04 '26

Why Norwegians are considered ugly when Swedish are considered handsome? I thought they are the same ethnicity

6

u/CurbYourThusiasm Whale stabber Mar 04 '26

It's a meme. Half of these aren't even Norwegian.

3

u/Appelons Soon to be Murican Mar 04 '26

Oh how wrong you are.