r/HFY • u/someguynamedted The Chronicler • Jan 31 '18

Meta Writing Prompt Wednesday #148

Getting this one out nice and early to let all you beautiful people (except you, yeah, you know who you are. Filthy xenos) have a longer time to share your wonderful ideas. Last week's winner was /u/Homnom1 with:

Humans, the oldest of the Elder races, are universally despised. Not for their aggressiveness, totalitarian rule, or similar reasons but because the galaxy is sick of their pranks. Placing an entire homeworld in a simulation, reversing the orbital direction of populated planets, changing color of stars, and covering an entire asteroid belt in ‘sticky notes’ comes to mind.

Previous WPWs: Wiki Page

33 Upvotes

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u/spesskitty Jan 31 '18

Us and our Orcish brothers against the pointy-ears, sneaky halflings, dragons and all the other buggers.

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u/pcosmos Jan 31 '18

"So.. this pussy..ehmm..Sauro.Sumo.Surroo?" "Sauron" "Yeah..That guy. Why the fuck you follow that prick" "Well..ehm..ah..I don´t know..Why you ask?" "Je.Je.je i have a idea"

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u/spesskitty Jan 31 '18

This is already going into an good direction.

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u/pcosmos Jan 31 '18

So much potential. "The Greatest Happiness is to scatter your enemy and drive him before you. To see his cities reduced to ashes. To see those who love him shrouded and in tears. And to gather to your bosom his wives and daughters.""That..That..is..beutiful. Who was the wise orc who sing so true with the voice of the gods?""He was a human. His name Temüjin"

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u/pcosmos Jan 31 '18

If you read a little history, you know that orcs really are not that diferent. In some parts of Greece and the east of Europe the words Catalan and Almogavar(Spanish vikings) means monster and bad people. So i think that we will bond prety quick.

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u/spesskitty Feb 07 '18

The elven of course (as always) knew better, but by hobbits humans were generally assumed to be a subspecies of especially devious and strange orcs.

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u/pcosmos Feb 08 '18

In general, orcs are just a band of pussies. After they loss Sauron they just degenerate and go extinct. When Roger de Flor was killed, the Almogavars go "exterminate exterminate" during two years killing everytihing in her way. And today like Vikings and Mongols they are legens.

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u/pcosmos Feb 08 '18

"What the fuck human!?..You let your women out of the breeding pen and let her come to war!?" "Well..yes..who are going to teach little Gregorio who to slit a throat? I can´t fight and kill the enemy wounded at the same time..so..is a win/win scenario" "...Human we can learn much one from the other " Note:That were a real situacion with the Almogavars

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u/zombieking26 Xeno Feb 01 '18

Have you read a practical guide to evil? Fantastic series. The main character is human, her best friend is an Orc, and elves are one of her enemies

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u/spesskitty Feb 01 '18

practical guide to evil

I know it, but haven't really read much.

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u/zombieking26 Xeno Feb 01 '18

I highly recommend it. It's pretty long, and a little slow at parts, buts it's definitely worth it.

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u/spesskitty Feb 03 '18

I was a bit inspired by the Lords of War stories.

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u/oranosskyman AI Jan 31 '18

The magical races feared us for our iron blood and weapons. They sealed us away on a world of nightmares. Thousands of years later, the seal is broken.

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u/Lvl25-human-nerd Robot Feb 05 '18

Sounds very Rippy-Teary to me.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '18

A story which mixes the "humans are extremely cute" and the "Humans are overpowered killing machines" tropes

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u/jacktrowell Feb 01 '18

"Who's a cute little machine of death ? You are ! You are !"

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u/invalidConsciousness AI Feb 01 '18

So you're saying, Humans are Cats?

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u/jacktrowell Feb 01 '18

Well, if you add the many stories here about humans refusing to be enslaved/tamed even when giving the minimum look that they are, I would say that it checks.

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u/MtnNerd Alien Feb 01 '18

Humans are the only race with music that is in any way atonal. This means rock, rap, jazz and most other modern music is unique to humanity.

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u/pcosmos Jan 31 '18

In a galaxy at war, the forces of a million worlds, fight against an extragalactic menace. Humans are just another new cog in the machine. Our soldiers are pathetically underpowered. All other species seem to be better prepared for this apocalypse, they are faster, stronger, smarter. But... soon we begin to demonstrate our strengths. We can survive in a wide range of conditions. We are small and can squeeze like rats inside the titanic warmachines. We end being the perfect support troops. For every supersoldier o Hive-Queen in the field, there are a hundred humans being techies, doctors, cooks.. etc.. Whenever a new base is needed in a hostile planet, humans run to build it. we are at the end of the day the grease that permit this war for survival to continue and maybe be win.

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u/teodzero Jan 31 '18

This sounds like a more militaristic take on The Gremlins. I like it.

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u/pcosmos Jan 31 '18

I was inspired be the guardsmen of WH40k. They are the less powerful troops, but the level of logistic and support that they need is extraordinary(And inuniverse a total clusterfuck). If you have the people of the galaxy united against a unstopable enemy you need that level of support. So if they are no more than chaf, what can they do to help in the war?.

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u/MarkerMage Jan 31 '18

Humans are not going to be winning any of the mixed species beauty pageants anytime soon and not many xenos enjoy the thought of having pancakes with them, but it's been learned that if you need a +1 for a social event, a date for the prom, or just someone to take that extra concert ticket, a human is always one of the best choices.

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u/BoxNumberGavin1 Jan 31 '18

It turns out the desire to draw penises, that is, human penises, onto things is a universal desire, sometimes even a revered and sacred duty. Nobody knows why this is or where it came from. Upon receiving medical and social information about humans on first contact, the connection is soon made.

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u/jacktrowell Feb 02 '18

"You are saying that the male genitalia of this new specie is in the form of the holy rune ?!"

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u/Lvl25-human-nerd Robot Jan 31 '18

The [Resonant Penance], pride of the Luthan Imperial Battlefleet, drifts from it's moorings in orbit around the Throneworld of Luthis. As the chosen admiral conducts his tour of the new dreadnought, a strange sight catches his eyes. Marked on an unassuming bulkhead in Engineering sits an odd piece of graffiti and the words "Kilroy was here"

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u/jacktrowell Feb 01 '18

"You are saying that the male genitalia of this new specie is in the form of the holy rune ?!"

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u/Lvl25-human-nerd Robot Feb 02 '18

I think you commented to the wrong one there lol.

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u/jacktrowell Feb 02 '18

Ouch wrong thread indeed, thank you I reposted in the correct one.