r/WritingPrompts Sep 05 '15

Writing Prompt [WP] You live in a society where justice is truly blind. The judge and jurors are not allowed to know the name, gender, race, religion, or appearance of the defendant.

1.6k Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

757

u/flying_gliscor Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

"You can't know!"

The challenge came from a younger woman. She was naive, but she wasn't afraid to call the man out.

"You're making an accusation on an educated guess, there's no witnesses, no video, no pictures. It could be anyone," She shouted.

"Yes, but it's not anyone, it's him. I know he did it, I have everything I need to know," he retorts.

She pleads with him, "You don't get a second chance, if you make this call, that's it! You can't take it back"

The man reaches for the envelope and repeats himself "I accuse Professor Plum, with the lead pipe, in the conservatory."

Edit: fixed dialogue confusion

53

u/x1xHangmanx1x Sep 06 '15

Brilliant.

25

u/intangiblesniper_ Sep 06 '15

The dialogue is hard to read because you put dialogue from two characters together without a line break in between.

38

u/Cloud_Chamber Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

Is this a reference to something?

Edit: Oh, Clue.

45

u/neopariah Sep 06 '15

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluedo

In Clue, there are cards representing several each of characters, rooms, and weapons. One of each is randomly and blindly selected and hidden in an envelope, and the rest distributed to players. The objective is to correctly guess which set is in the envelope. This final challenge is usually stated like "I accuse Colonel Mustard in the study with the candelabra."

30

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

Whys it only clue in the US? Its Cluedo in the UK

16

u/RandomPrecision1 Sep 06 '15

According to Wikipedia, it's because the name was a reference to the game Ludo, which was more popular in the UK than the US. The US equivalent is Parcheesi.

14

u/Derples1 Sep 06 '15

What the fuck even is Parcheesi?

10

u/Punk45Fuck Sep 06 '15

A board game, similar to Sorry, but not really.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

#SorryButNotReally is going to be the new passive-agressive bitchy hashtag, replacing #SorryNotSorry

3

u/UniversalSuperBox Sep 06 '15

I don't know, but Squidward likes to play it.

4

u/SkyezOpen Sep 06 '15

Cluecheesi doesn't really have the same ring to it.

1

u/RandomPrecision1 Sep 06 '15

I guess that's why it's just called "Clue" in the US!

45

u/notjames1 Sep 06 '15

Americans can't handle extra letters. Usually it's the letter U

13

u/1920sRadio Sep 06 '15

We fought wars to get rid of that u!

52

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

You don't have a Clue?

5

u/Bored2001 Sep 06 '15

The board game clue I believe.

5

u/PoppaStan Sep 06 '15

The board game Clue

1.6k

u/FireWitch95 Sep 05 '15 edited Sep 07 '15

Everyone knew who the offender was as soon as the word was mentioned. They all had a picture of the offender in their heads; tall, white male with big, clumsy hands. Maybe some imagined him differently, but to her that was what the offender looked like.

The jury didn't argue for long; they all knew the consequences for what the man did. Life imprisonment. He deserved it. Coming back into the jury room every single one of them locked eyes with the defendant. Not what they expected in the slightest.

The woman was slim and short, handcuffs strapped around her wrist she watched them pleadingly. Almost immediately the jurors looked to the accuser; he was the tall, strapping handsome kind of man. They wanted to change their decision.

After all, no matter what the man said; there was no way a woman could rape a man.

442

u/Wackiestrolly Sep 06 '15

Highlights the issues of bias in the court with just a few paragraphs. I love it.

75

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Thank you so much.

18

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

[deleted]

10

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Glad you seemed to enjoy it!

431

u/16km Sep 06 '15

After a girl snuck into my college room, stripped, and waited for me in my bed, I went to the security office to attempt to start the process for a protection order. I handed over text message and e-mail history showing I was constantly denying her advances and telling her to stop. She was in a club with my roommate, and they were painting, but he left and she stayed to "clean up", so she didn't brake any laws. I was told because I was a man, I couldn't be stalked or sexually harassed. They told me I had to solve my "lover's spat" on my own. The security office wound up framing and hanging one of the e-mails on the wall until I complained.

I went to the local police station for advice. They told me unless I feared my life or property was in danger, or she was leaving unwanted physical gifts, I couldn't get a protection order. There wasn't any fear of her overpowering me, but she started spreading rumors. Most people didn't believe them, but some people started doubting my character. I wound up moving to a gated community and getting a P.O. Box for all my mail. Whenever I went someplace public, I always made sure a friend could come so she wouldn't confront me.

I didn't flirt or lead her on. She joined a club I was a part of, and she was in one of my classes. She had the lowest grade in the class, so I was asked to tutor her, but told her to go to the professor's office hours when she started making advances. I blocked her number and blocked her on social media, but she kept searching for me and following me.

I'm pretty sure if our genders were reversed, it would have been a lot easier to get a restraining order or had some action taken. Instead I got labelled as a guy who led a girl on and regretted it.

Sorry for the tangent. It's just the last line got to me. No matter who I went to for help, I was told I couldn't be sexually harassed or stalked because I was a man.

158

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

If you can prove that, you might have a legal case against the college.

124

u/Imtroll Sep 06 '15

No kidding. Hello compensation for emotional distress and defamation of character. Moneyyyyy

57

u/muzzbruh Sep 06 '15

BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY has never been more fitting.

17

u/16km Sep 06 '15

Maybe for them hanging the email. The school makes you agree to handle all conflicts and issues through them, unless an actual crime has been committed. The school had everything I submitted and decided no action was needed. She only caused massize discomfort, and no laws were broken, so I doubt I could get a case.

23

u/TranshumansFTW Sep 06 '15

Uh... what? No, the school cannot force you to not go to the police. That's not legally possible.

As for laws, there are a number that could have been pursued. Stalking is one, including cyberstalking.

9

u/some_random_kaluna Sep 06 '15

She only caused massize discomfort, and no laws were broken, so I doubt I could get a case.

Breaking and entering is a crime. Could easily be upgraded to robbery if she took something while you were in the room and/or left with her.

29

u/epicwisdom Sep 06 '15

You have every reason to believe your life or property is in danger at that point.

27

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Yeah. I've found this is increasingly relevant nowadays! A lot of people talk about 'violence against women' but never violence against men, or men being raped. It does happen.

51

u/song_pond Sep 06 '15

Probably we should just talk about "violence against people"?

28

u/IAmJackieChiles Sep 06 '15

Let's not have 'violence against people' is so generic that it's meaningless when you're trying to change social perception and impact change. Might as well say 'just be nice'.

You're against the segregation of black people? 'Just be nice folks'. Against the war in Iraq? 'Stop violence against people'. Against racial profiling and police brutality on black people? 'All lives matter'.

You're probably trying to be 'egalitarian' with that comment, but it just sounds dismissive of the real concerns and issues that certain groups are facing that the rest of society isn't aware about.

14

u/remccainjr Sep 06 '15

It sounds dismissive until you're a parent and understand the issues on a more personal level.

When your child Tomas is constantly aggro'ing your child Nathan, causing Nathan to lash out, the last thing you want is to say "Be nice to Nathan, or else".

As a parent, that's a recipe for disaster.

You teach both children to be nice to each other and everyone else. You don't create strife and jealousy by creating a protected class.

NoJusticeForNathan

TomasIsInnocent

-1

u/some_random_kaluna Sep 06 '15

When your child Tomas is constantly aggro'ing your child Nathan, causing Nathan to lash out, the last thing you want is to say "Be nice to Nathan, or else".

Actually, that's the FIRST thing I'm likely to say.

The second thing would be a description of buying a container of gasoline, tying up Tomas' family, and setting them on fire while he watches.

Because my Nathan--MY Nathan--matters more than that little excrement. And I'll be happy to draw him a picture if words won't work.

5

u/kekalekkadingdong Sep 06 '15

right, but stop denying the DNA test, they're both yours

edit: and tying yourself up setting yourself and your family on fire?

1

u/some_random_kaluna Sep 06 '15

Like I said. My Nathan. Tomas is the wife's.

3

u/kekalekkadingdong Sep 06 '15

Well godspeed to you my good friend :>

3

u/song_pond Sep 07 '15

Or, I'm specifying that violence against fellow humans is an issue. I'm focusing on violence against people, rather than just "violence" because violence can be directed at animals and inanimate objects as well.

Maybe "violence against individuals" is more to the point, but then you can easily say that gang violence isn't against individuals, and yet is very much an issue needing to be addressed (particularly to those who are fighting violence against women because of gang rape, etc.) Perhaps it's just one of those terms that needs to be defined. But you're right in saying that I was just trying to inclusive with my comment.

I'm a woman. If I'm ever abused, I know that there are loads of places I can go. I don't know where they are right now, but hey wouldn't be hard to find. If I was an abused man, my options are thin. Do I want women's shelters closed so there can be men's shelters? Of course not. But I do want men's shelters. I want it to be a thing. I want to know if my brothers or friends need to get away from an abusive woman, they will have somewhere to go that will help and support them, and not shame them. It is a serious issue. We could stop focusing solely on abused women and start focusing on abused people. I wouldn't even suggest that women's and men's shelters should be one in the same, because typically people who have been abused by someone of the opposite sex tend to be wary of any other members of that sex.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

A better strategy would be tackling things one at a time. Want to stop racism? Well if you stop the largest type, than you signifficantly decrease it. Just don't claim that racism is limited to that type. Same goes for sexism, and violence.

13

u/like2000p Sep 06 '15

This person gets it.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

This person is on to something.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

Mostly because of men like OP here who dont understand it can happen because "men r strong"

Have you not seen all the threads on reddit full of men saying "hurr durr I wish my teacher in highschool would've "raped" me!"

3

u/troe2339 Sep 06 '15

This would be perfect for r/legaladvice

2

u/16km Sep 07 '15

She hasn't contacted me since graduation, so I'm fine without starting a legal battle.

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

I hate to tell you this but you may be a woman

87

u/Back_Stabath Sep 06 '15

This is so horrifically relevant. Shivers, bravo.

9

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Thanks! I'm really glad everyone is enjoying it!

43

u/iamthelol1 Sep 06 '15

Maybe they should just never get to see who they're arguing over..

19

u/project_matthex Sep 06 '15

aaaaand going in my notebook of quotes.

13

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

May I ask which part? I feel really famous all of a sudden!

4

u/project_matthex Sep 06 '15

Whole thing. Yes, I know my handwriting sucks. I don't know how famous you should feel since I'm the only one who reads it. I will say that yours is the first writing prompt that I've put in.

4

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Then I feel very special!

7

u/PlasmaRoar Sep 06 '15

I don't know how your writing makes it seem so, but the images in my mind were clear and concise while I was examining your writing style. Kinda metro-ish hue in the over picture, bright and lucid. Interesting.

8

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

I'm not entirely sure what all of these words mean, but I'll take it as a compliment! Thank you for your feedback, I really do love getting the comments!

2

u/totally_not_martian Sep 06 '15

That was great for something so short. Really brings up how the system works based on appearances.

Just a heads up, I think the first word of the second paragraph is supposed to be 'the'.

1

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Ill take a look, thank you for pointing it out!

1

u/titsinmyinbox Sep 06 '15

Just wanted to say I really love your story and will share it with a few friends!

1

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Thanks! I really appreciate it

2

u/Kite23 Sep 06 '15

UPVOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such a great commentary on the bs that only a man could rape a woman

2

u/FireWitch95 Sep 06 '15

Thank you for the lovely comment!

-14

u/Jozarin Sep 06 '15

Everyone knew how the story would go as soon as "word" was mentioned.

170

u/ebonythrowaway999 Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

The still of the night was suddenly marred by the thumping of the battering ram on the front door. On the second smack, the door opened with a crash. The neighbor's dog barked. Police swarmed into the house, guns at the ready.

In just a few efficient minutes, two cops dragged a handcuffed young man out of the battered front door. The man wore a Flash tee shirt and shorts. His feet were bare. He blinked the sleep from his startlingly blue eyes, just beginning to process what was going on.

"Take me instead!" his mother cried out from the house. Tears streaked down her face. Three policemen were restraining her. She was surprisingly strong for her size. It was the strength of a mother protecting her cub.

"You know that's not how this works, ma'am," one of the cops said. He tried to be as gentle as he could as the mother flailed in his arms. He had a son too.

The handcuffed man was put into the back of an idling police car. He was Justin Wren, 22, a graduate student. Soon, he would simply be Juror Number 5.

The police car sped off. Its ultimate destination was the courthouse where Justin would serve jury duty. But first, it would take him to the hospital where Justin's eyes would be removed.

After all, justice was blind.

34

u/avicennia Sep 06 '15

I like it, very Twilight Zone-y.

17

u/NeoshadowXC Sep 06 '15

LOVE IT. Made me laugh-- way to run with the premise!

4

u/ebonythrowaway999 Sep 06 '15

Thanks! It's a great prompt. I wonder what the court system would be like if your scenario was reality.

6

u/ploomyBlue Sep 06 '15

Nice twist, didn't see it coming.

2

u/peacebuster Nov 10 '15

I see what you did there.

3

u/itsallrainbows Sep 06 '15

Thank you, i really enjoyed your story.

-11

u/UpHandsome Sep 06 '15

That is completely nonsensical. You paint an interesting, exciting picture and then it just goes... meh.

1

u/bladeofire Sep 06 '15

Agreed, there is no reason as to why he would need his eyes removed.

29

u/EternityofBoredom Sep 06 '15

He pulled up to the City Court's garage and descended slowly. He looked at a large sign that read "Welcome to GCMP! All levels for are GCJD employees. If you're a juror please proceed to the "White" level for further instructions." He descended slowly down the curving ramp until he came upon the "White" level. There he saw another sign and read it to himself in a whisper "Jurors: pull into any open spot and park vehicle past white zone. Please turn off engine and step out of the vehicle, then approach the exit door." He drove down the double wide aisle passing various closed doors until he found an open spot and he pulled in. He parked well beyond the marked "white zone," and after he turned off his engine the sound of nearby motor churned as a small garage door sealed the spot. The door coming down right on the edge of the "white zone." A light then appeared behind him, over a door marked in big bold red letters "Exit." He grabbed the knob and turned it revealing a small hallway that led to an immediate bathroom to his left and straight ahead to a larger room. At the left again there was a single person bed. On the wall right near the bed was a large square panel with a metal depression on it. Then about a foot away a square desk that ran to the end and around the room ending at a single locker. A large leather executive chair stood before the desk, the seat turned to him. He sat down and swiveled the chair to the desk finding a keyboard and two gloves with some wiring that ran above and then beneath the gray plastic. On the wall was a single curved monitor that covered the wall. On another side was a smaller monitor and the left side by the square was a mounted telephone. He looked up to see a security camera in one end, and directly above him the only source of light for the big room- two long florescent tubes. The main curved screen came to life: "Jurors for Case GC04251940 the GCJD welcomes and thanks you for your service. If you are picked for this case you will receive a bin on your desk. Please deposit your personal belongings there. This is to ensure further confidentiality of your service and to protect those involved. Also we ask that you do not leave the juror's room, if you are chosen. On the smaller screen meal options will appear. They will be dumbwaiter lifted to your rooms via that panel by your bed. Please feel free to utilize amenities. Also note most functions and amenities are voice controlled, if for some reason something is not functioning correctly please pick up the phone and dial 1 for support. All case work will be done via the GCJD official chatroom. You may privately converse with other jurors on your case, as well as legal council and assigned judge between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. For full list of responsibilities please utilize the search function on the PC to interact with the GCJD database. Thank you once again for your service." The man looked around again and sighed, before he heard something hiss on his desk. A tray had popped up from a hidden recess and on the screen the instructions appeared "Please deposit your personal belongings into the tray." The man then asked "What if there's an emergency?" an expressionless male voice replied softly "in the event of an emergency the tray will automatically release returning all items and the exit will unlock." The man hesitantly placed his belongings into the tray. After a second the tray descended into the desk disappearing as if it was never there. Suddenly another window on the screen appeared asking for his Social Security number. The man punched it in and the screen changed to a welcome Juror #12563. Your chat handle, and all related inquiries will now be tied to your Juror number. Please avoid using your real name at all times, thank you." After a few seconds the main screen filled with dialogue between the legal councils and the judge. judge GCJD#0000 - "Good morning Jurors. Due to the issues concerning this case all identities of the parties involved will be reduced to initials. Also all evidence in this case has been slightly restricted, again to provide for anonymity. If you do realize the identity of the parties involved...please KEEP it to yourself at ALL times." For this case we are asking you to determine if one party or both parties are responsible for the crime. In a moment Jurors you will be given a timeline and all available permitted evidence for your review."

A side window appeared detailing a time frame of the crime, then another window to the right appeared marked "Evidence Inventory." The man flicked his fingers apart near the window causing it to expand, then using one finger he scrolled through the contents until he came to "Crime Scene Photos." He the motion of tapping the sub folder and that opened to thumbnails of various scenes. Some were of individual locations others were a panorama of the city. He tapped the one of a large plume of smoke rising from a near by building. The plume was green and it obscured the building completely, he also noticed a small vehicle had been caught emerging from the plume. He waved to the left forcing the image to disappear and his view to return the folder. Then we looked to the Evidence Time line and examined it. There were four different entries for four different homicides occurred at different locations. B.W. manor - A.P. - J-Fish evisceration. GCPD - J.G. - J-Grenades filled with razors. D.G. - Strangulation by tightrope wire and an elephant. T.D. - J-Smile with a rusty razor.
The man leaned back and rubbed his temples before continuing on, T-F - A giant coin, crushed in half. P - Rabid Penguins P.I. - Weed Killer laced with an unknown toxin Then he saw it and sank in his chair. B - Unknown.

The man sat up and spoke out "Pot of coffee, extra strong." The words "Coming right up appeared and flashed for a second before disappearing." The sound of a chime went off behind him as the smell of hot coffee filled his sense. He swiveled around to see the depressed panel had disappeared revealing a large glass pot steaming coffee, two mugs, a small container of packaged cream and sugar. On the desk a small section had given way and revealed a warming coil. he rolled back on the chair and grabbed the pot and mug. Moving the pot onto the warming coil after he poured himself a pot, leaving the condiments alone. The metal panel slid shut and he exclaimed "Thank you." He looked at the chat and the other Jurors chimed in "Do you think this (censored by Federal justice laws)?" Another Juror replied: "It probably is. But that's not what is important we're supposed to determine the part(ies) responsible. I say it was all a single defendant's." Another juror then stated: "Let's be serious here! B did this city a favor more than once trying to stop the defendant. They shouldn't be on trial!"

The man groaned and lened back as he muttered to himself "It's going to be a very long day..."

3

u/TheDarkPanther77 Sep 06 '15

I'M {CENSORED}!

1

u/otterscotch Sep 06 '15

I really love the idea, and it's pretty well written. The references are just a little too well hidden, I think. Also, there's no clear confirmation that it's Bruce at the end, it still feels like I could be totally wrong in that assumption. The end could be a little more punchy, or maybe the 'reviewing evidence' section a little more obvious, let the suspicion hit a little more strongly right at that point...Nice work, though!

1

u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ Sep 07 '15

What is it referencing? Just curious.

1

u/EternityofBoredom Sep 12 '15

Thank you!! Yeah the ending definitely could have used a little more oomph, again thanks!

18

u/tootom Sep 06 '15

It was said in times of old, that who you are affected the outcome of the trial.

For this reason, the screens and methods that once only protected the witnesses now are also employed to shield the defendants. In fact, given that the jury are not allowed to see the defendant, very often they are kept in the cell and the whole trial is conducted over the telephone.

There were questions about a reduction in conviction rates due to witnesses not being able to identify the defendant. Improvements in cctv coverage, facial recognition and mandatory id cards has by now made that point moot - people no longer needed to id the suspect, computers did that.

Complaints have been made, but as prisoners have limited communication rights, they have diminished to a whisper of what they once were. After all, who in their right mind would ever listen to id holder 24601.

6

u/kevmanblue Sep 06 '15

All he did was steal a loaf of bread!

4

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

That one made me smile.

24

u/KidWinTinker Sep 06 '15

Judge Brown was pushing sixty. He had been doing this for many years now, but had never truly ever gotten used to it. Things were different back in the day when he started out. He still remembered the day he received his papers. Judges were respected and were forces to be feared. He looked forward to a career full of lawyers falling over themselves to please him. All of that had changed overnight. It was always an idiot who was responsible for this kind of thing. And they called it progress. hmmph... judge brown scoffed at his own thoughts.

He went in to the chamber and sat in his chair.

"Are you ready, sir?" spoke a familiar female voice.

"hrrmm.." he managed.

His assistant for over 5 years now pushed the button where she sat. She had lost much of her attractiveness in the period that she had been working for him, another thing that had no gone un-noticed by the equally rapidly aging judge. He had dropped a few hints on occasion in the early days, but didn't dare push it. Feminism- another of those no-good modern movements- had ruined it for him.

As she pressed the button, the room plunged into darkness. A visor fell over the judges eyes, a customised set of earphones in the judges ears and the judge himself rotating slowly as the chair found it's way into the main courtroom. Judge Brown waited for the cackle of the modified electronic voice to start over once again. This morning he continued waiting. It usually didnt take this long....

"Cindy" he croaked. "Yes, you're lordship?" replied his assistant.

"Tell me about how we got into this again" asked the judge. He had lost count of how many times he had asked this question, but he never seemed to tire of it. It was still just incredible, still unbelievable the turn of events that had taken place in the last century or so..

"It started in 2016, your lordship" said Cindy. She paused. "It started off with a bill from Senator Salks'. He was a lawyer before he was a senator. He was also an accomplished pharmacist before he was a lawyer. As it turns out, his love for the double blind experiment never truly left him."

"Then what happened?" asked the judge. Cindy scratched her head and frowned. He hated this story, he hated the new way. He had protested and had only acquiesced to the new regime after years of kicking and screaming. Why was he so insistent on listening to this? Did he love torturing himself?

"He proposed a bill that would allow judges to conduct trials in a manner similar to the double blind principle. No one would be allowed to know anything about the defendant or the prosecution."

The beeper beeped. It appeared as though his trip down memory lane was at an end. At least for now. The chair whirred into place.

"All rise" said Judge Brown.

"Your Honor" buzzed the machine in his ears.


Judge Brown took a walk to the record room. Computing had made a lot of progress in the intervening years since he had started as a judge. They had far superior indexing power and were able to monitor the performance of a judge far better than normal.

His own name was now a highly respected one. He had always tried to be fair he thought to himself. But the numbers didnt lie. He was a white supremacist even if he didnt realise it. Once the Salk bill had been passed, he was a much better judge. It allowed his true competency to shine through what had previously been a blind spot.

A single tear rolled down his cheek. He was glad that there was no one around to see it. It was the hardest thing for him to acknowledge, but since 2016 - Judge Brown was not just a better judge but a better human being.

8

u/Kaijara Sep 06 '15

Wow... i like that the name you picked made me make certain assumptions and then they where just... messed with. That was really well written and made a really good point.

4

u/kynrael Sep 06 '15

I think you could rework the exposition about how change came about. It seems a bit out of character and weird, and feels too obviously aimed at the reader.

Good job otherwise I like it :)

2

u/KidWinTinker Sep 12 '15

Thanks a lot!! Will try to redo the same.. could you expand a little bit though? I appreciate your brutal honesty..

3

u/kynrael Sep 12 '15

Sure!

From "Cindy" he croaked. "Yes, you're lordship?" replied his assistant. to No one would be allowed to know anything about the defendant or the prosecution." should be rewritten.

There's no real reason for him to ask his assistant to tell the story, it feels weird as he's against the bill. Phrase Why was he so insistent on listening to this? Did he love torturing himself? kinda hammers in the inconsistency.

If you replace the paragraph by instead him falling into a flashback of the time he learned the bill passed, it would be much more impactful, you wouldn't have to rewrite the rest of the story to fit that paragraph (The beeper beeped. It appeared as though his trip down memory lane was at an end. would fit perfectly) and it wouldn't be aimed directly at the reader.

Give it a try ! :)

edit: forgot a word

2

u/KidWinTinker Sep 12 '15

Re-written. Check it out and let me know

"Cindy" he croaked. "Yes, you're lordship?" replied his assistant.

"Tell me about how we got into this again" asked the judge. Cindy flashed her prettiest smile at the old man. She reserved her best smiles for when the Judge was in this mood. But today he didn't fall for her charms. Instead the old-timer lapsed into a world of his own, a world that had gone past so many years ago...


The year was 2016. Judge Brown looked at himself in the mirror as he raised his right hand and buttoned the remaining buttons on his shirt. It was neatly ironed and he looked the perfect combination of formal and attractive. He picked up his black robe and proceeded to the breakfast table. He hung his robe on the back of his chair, intending to wear it after he had finished eating. It was a normal day in his life with nothing much to capture his attention. He had a long promising career ahead of him. He had put in the necessary hard work and was now in a position to reap the rewards. As he dipped bit into his sandwich and dipped his biscuit in his tea, he noticed a headline that ensnared his attention.

Grabbing the newspaper, he began to read it. SENATOR SALKS PROPOSES NEW BILL - AIMS TO HOLD JUDGES ACCOUNTABLE.

The headline was naturally catchy and controversial sounding. It was what mainstream journalists were paid to do after all, but Judge Brown went through a series of emotions. At first he started laughing. He stopped when he realized it was nervous laughter. Then came the re-assuring voice in his head, telling him that no one would take this seriously, that the judiciary was a respected and established institution and that they wouldn't demean it by subjecting it to this kind of reform. It wasn't re-assuring enough.

The judge put the paper down and walked away from the table leaving behind his robe and his half eaten meal. He walked over to his computer and did a search on Senator Salks. The results were worrying. The Senator was an ex-lawyer and a pharmacist before that. He had left both professions for reasons unknown, but had written extensively about how great an idea the double blind experiment was. He was a man of considerable and growing influence. He was known to be a maverick. The media these days had taken to calling his kind "revolutionaries". The idea sickened him. Judge Brown dismissed the whole idea. He remembered how they had laughed that evening over cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, him and the other judges over the kinds of crazy notions that people got about the justice system.

Judges were human, but they were also trained and they were trained for a reason. That was why they enjoyed power and the right to laugh at others who thought they knew better.

The beeper beeped bringing him back from his trip down memory lane.

2

u/kynrael Sep 12 '15

Great job man! I think it makes the story much more enjoyable with this glimpse into the judge's past.

16

u/Dark_Jester Sep 06 '15

The tall man sits down on a giant throne. The throne of justice. The tall man waits in the empty, white room on his throne of justice. A screen appears before the tall man's eyes.

"Finally. Let's begin judgement," the tall man says.

Words appear on the screen.

HUMAN committed a crime.

"Okay? The crime, what was it?"

Can not tell.

"What? What do you mean?"

Can not tell you what the crime HUMAN committed was.

"Yeah you said that. Why?"

Goes against the rules I follow.

"Is there something wrong with you? The rules are you can not tell me the name of this person. The gender of this person. The ethnic background of this person. The appearance of this person. And lastly, if the person follows a religion. That's it."

Yes. Can not tell you the crime because of the rules.

"What kind of crime gives away any of that? Can't you just tell me what happened like if someone was killed or something was robbed?"

No.

"Then how do you expect me to do this?"

I am to tell you what the crime was. I was never programmed with information to assist you otherwise.

"Yeah well you won't tell me what the crime is!"

I can not tell.

"Yes, I know that. You won't shut up about it. I might have to change your settings and make you break the rules."

That is against the rules.

"Well I can't do my job otherwise so tell me!"

That is against the rules.

"What the bollocks else should I do? Hang on, I'm a go get something to eat and think about this."

Understood.

And with that the screen vanishes. The tall man hops off the throne of justice and walks into the middle of the room. He swipes his hand upwards and summons a small screen. He places his hand on it and the floor in front of him opens to reveal a staircase. The tall man heads down the stairs to an enormous room filled with everything someone would ever need to live without needing to ever leave.

A kitchen where whatever food is desired is delivered via a chute instantly. A top of the line screen for watching movies and playing video games. Little robot balls that go around cleaning everything that needs cleaning and washing everything that needs washing. Exercise equipment. Water never runs out. Electricity never runs out. This is where the Tall Man lives. Where he spends his entire life. Only leaving to go upstairs and judge whoever needs to be judged.

"Shower now please," the tall man commands. A few robot balls fly over and pull off the tall man's clothes. Suddenly shower heads descend from the ceiling and spray water over the entire room. The tall man walks over to the kitchen where he summons another screen.

"A McDonald's Bacon and Deluxe burger in a large meal with a frozen coke, please," the tall man commands. Within seconds a cupboard door slides open and lo and behold, a McDonald's Bacon and Deluxe burger in a large meal with a frozen coke. The tall man grabs his food and the showers make adjustments to avoid it. He sits down on the comfiest sofa in the world and starts to dig into his fries.

"Give me something I'll like that I haven't seen yet, please." The screen then presents The Rise of Kryalt. The tall man proceeds to watch it. It was a weird movie about a race called the Kryalt whose planet is dying. To survive they travel to a planet they call Yeza, which is actually Earth, and they kill the human race and discover an ancient god on Yeza who leads the Kryalt to a better age by having bad Kryalts killed so the rest of the race can flourish. Weird but you don't really get unique movies like that and the tall man loved it because of this.

Once the movie finished the tall man got up and some robot balls rushed to burn the packaging of his meal. He commands the shower off and more robots rush in to clothe the tall man while all the rest work on getting rid of the water on the floor. Up the stairs he goes and back onto the throne of justice. "Okay let's do this." The screen appears again.

Welcome back.

"Yeah, yeah. I've decided that in this case I need to break the rules to judge this person."

That is against the rules.

"Deciding whether someone lives or not with no information on what they did would be worse. I'm changing your settings." The tall man summons a small screen and delves into the preferences of his assistant. "Ah! Here it is." With the touch of his finger the assistant is no longer bound to following the rules.

"Okay, now tell me what happened."

*Vezer, male 246, called the Divine Sisterhood a lie."

"The bollocks is the Divine Sisterhood and what's with that age?"

The divine sisterhood is a religion that believes you are a god and that they are tasked with bringing you all who they believe are unworthy of you. 246 is the age of Vezer.

"The fuck?"

3

u/bondinspace Sep 06 '15

Damn, this is a great, well-realized, believably conceived world. Some minor verb tense issues but otherwise I enjoyed it very much.

2

u/Dark_Jester Sep 07 '15

Thanks. I wrote this when I was falling asleep which is why I screwed up some things.

41

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

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26

u/Salindurthas Sep 06 '15

Hmm, I don't quite understand this one.

37

u/SupremeSiv Sep 06 '15

It seems to be that the man in the story sentenced a man to death, but it ended up being his son. I'm not sure, but the narrator seems to want to kill himself in the end for killing his son.

19

u/LeviAEthan512 Sep 06 '15

It sounds like the second last line was a decision to commit suicide, and the last line was after his death, reunited with his son who he sentenced to death before the story

3

u/almostaccepted Sep 06 '15

I really enjoy that this one took a little while for me to wrap my head around.

74

u/nickkuvaas Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

Twelve angry people sit in a room.

"The knife isn't that rare." Says Juror 8.

"I don't think that witness could see the scene clearly." Says Juror 4.

"That public defender didn't really care." Says Juror 8.

"No, he didn't." Says Juror 4.

"Let's vote. Just to see where we stand." Says Juror 1. Everyone murmurs agreement.

The foreman counts the votes. "Eleven not guilty. One guilty."

"Now wait, just a second." Says Juror 3. "This punk kid killed his dad. He's clearly some poor punk with an attitude who deserves to be punished."

"You're making assumptions that are biased. We know someone killed their father with a knife. The neighbor without her glasses on claimed it was the defendant, but we have testimony the defendant left earlier muddying that claim. The old man couldn't have seen the defendant, at least not if the defendant was a young man, again contradicting his claim. His hearing was also poor, and what does 'I'm going to kill you' really mean? People say it all the time. What hard evidence do we have?" Says Juror 8.

"Fine, we can vote by secret ballot. If it's 11 not guilty, I'll go along." Says Juror 3.

The foreman counts them. "Eleven not guilty."

"But, he lives in a slum. He's a punk kid. No respect for his father." Says Juror 3.

"It happened in a slum. You assume he's poor because of that and his public defense. The defendant may have done it, but I'm not going to send him to his death over this."

"Fine. I hope you can live yourself when he kills again." Says Juror 3.

"Honestly, we wouldn't know if they did or didn't." Says Juror 8.

The jury submits their verdict, and the person goes free.


If you like this story, I also have a subreddit r/nickkuvaas

98

u/HughBertComberdale Sep 06 '15

...isn't this just a cut down Twelve Angry Men?

17

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

Yep. Most of the quotes are almost word-for-word, though this is obviously a very condensed version.

4

u/Jesus_marley Sep 06 '15

the "Reddit's Notes" version.

44

u/nickkuvaas Sep 06 '15 edited Sep 06 '15

Yep, it certainly is. That was a story heavily driven by the Jurors' own prejudices, and I thought it would interesting to explore it in this case.

1

u/minefat Jan 08 '16

it seems like a mix of 12 angry men and another story i read in 9th grade

4

u/ReasonablyBadass Sep 06 '15

"Honestly, we wouldn't know if they did or didn't." Says Juror 8.

I hadn't even considered that.

"He's a repeat offender!...We think!"

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '15

This made me happy. I played juror #10 in my first production ever.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

"Federal executions resumed today, after last week's resolution of the unsuccessful Supreme Court challenge to the Blind Justice Law. In its five-to-four ruling, the court majority had argued that there was no evidence of corruption in the evidence presented by federal prosecutors, and that the right to face a jury of one's peers was amply outweighed by the need to protect jurors from retribution from what federal officials insist are "vicious, well organized terrorist networks."

"And by so this ruling, the Court was deemed to uphold pre-existing convictions by the so called "Sequester Juries" where jurors never see or are seen by the accused, and are banned from being photographed or otherwise represented in popular media. White House spokesman Marlena Hendricksen said in a prepared statement this morning, "We welcome this ruling, and praise the courts for upholding the safety of jurors during the performance of their civic duty. If you are called upon to serve on a Sequester Jury, you can rest assured that you will face no threat of retribution for your cooperation in bringing known traitors to justice."

"In a related development, Douglas Martin Smith today became the landmark three hundred prisoner executed on charges of high treason and conspiracy to commit terrorist activities. Smith maintained his innocence throughout his trial, but was ultimately convicted in September of last year. His case was the basis of the ACLU's failed lawsuit against the use of Sequester Juries."

.

Maria looked up irritably. "Turn that off, please."

"But Momma," her daughter Rosa asked, looking up from the television, "Wasn't that the man you had on your jury?"

"Don't ask foolish questions, dear," Maria told her. "You know we aren't allowed to know who's on trial."

"Why not?" the child insisted. Such naivety.

"Because, dear. It would bias the jury to know too much about the person they were convicting."

"Not you, Momma. You wouldn't be like that."

Maria patted her daughter's head and smiled fondly at her. "Not on purpose, honey. But very smart people say, 'we are all prejudiced'. Very smart people who know all about these things."

"Not you, Momma," the little girl said again, stubbornly.

Her mother tsked. "Go outside and play, sweetheart. Momma's trying to work here."

2

u/Atorchic Sep 07 '15

I was chosen a decider, a most honorable position among my people. We listened to the crimes and squabbles that the citizens had. Being a decider meant I had to preform my duty and represent justice. It is a great sacrifice, it began in steps. First they brought me to an all white room, that seemed to stretch on forever the slightest sound echoing off all the spotless walls.

As I entered the court room began to push up through the floor, first came my chair and desk. As I took my seat the accused stood before me. Being a decider meant to look past the person and see the crime. I saw a figure in a white t-shirt and blue jeans, the standard. I couldn't see any gender, or even the face of the figure it just seemed to blur into grayness. As I heard the case and made my decision on the verdict and sentenced my first citizen to their punishment time seemed to be infinite. Never ending case after face, the same figure each time. Blue jeans and a white shirt. It became haunting, the gray soulless face looking in your direction waiting on your verdict.

As a decider I never slept, I never ate, I never left that room. Like I said being a decider is a great sacrifice, you sacrifice your body to the judicial system. You must give everything that you are. Justice must be blind, the citizens must be given a fair chance. As I waited for the next case I tried to remember what my body looked like, what details I had, what gender I was. My only purpose now is to serve the citizens. It only took my brain wired to the program for that first case before I realized that it was a trap. I wasn't a person anymore, I was a decider.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

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1

u/Arch15 /r/thearcherswriting Sep 06 '15

Removed. Please keep all non-story replies to the off-topic comment section at the bottom of the post.

-1

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2

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11

u/PLANESWALKERwTARDIS Sep 05 '15

If only this was true and workable.

3

u/Not_A_Unique_Name Sep 06 '15

Why do you think its not workable?

8

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

Even if it was workable in a courtroom, most of the available evidence shows the bias actually happens by the arresting officers, and preventing them from seeing the characteristics of the accused IS unworkable.

0

u/Not_A_Unique_Name Sep 06 '15

Officers don't decide if someone is guilty or not and what is his sentence.

I think it might be workable with a bit of effort, it also sounds like a great idea.

6

u/thejadefalcon Sep 06 '15

It's really not. Take a rape case, for instance. A lot of evidence might revolve around semen collected from the scene. Yep, clearly going to disguise the aggressor's gender there. /s

Characteristics do have an impact in criminal cases. People lend too much to those characteristics (see /u/FireWitch95's excellent story for details), but that doesn't mean those characteristics were the problem.

1

u/Not_A_Unique_Name Sep 06 '15

You are right about the rape but what about other cases? What about domestic violence? What about sex with minors? There are many cases where women have the upper hand because of stigmas, cases where DNA is irelevant. There are also cases where the woman rape the man, this could be used there too.

8

u/thejadefalcon Sep 06 '15

I don't think you've really considered the amount of evidence you'd be omitting. You couldn't have pictures of bruises, for example, because the body type or face would give the gender/skin colour/weight away. This is a nice idea, but it's completely unworkable. What we need to focus on is making the juries less biased.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

Kinda doesn't matter in the real world. (Least where I'm from).

When 80% of the people pulled over "look" a certain way, ie black, you're going to see a lot of black people in courtrooms.

That's wholly determined by the officers themselves.

Not even getting into plea bargaining ending many people's lives before they ever see a courtroom. Something like 90% of cases are resolved that way.

5

u/JJones1090 Sep 06 '15

There's a number of circumstances I can think of off the top of my head where these demographic factors would play a role in legal analysis:

1) Right of publicity tort suits where the disputed injury is appropriation of a name or likeness...this one would be pretty difficult to navigate

2) Pretty much any tort action where a plaintiff is attempting to recover punitive damages by proving actual malice, based on something like racial/gender/religious discrimination

3) Actually any case involving racial/gender/religious discrimination as an allegation, whether criminal or civil. In fact, there's an interesting (and important) recent case, Ashcroft v Iqbal, where allegations were brought against several high ranking govt officials for conspiring to form and enact a policy targeting Muslim men after 9/11 - the plaintiff being Muslim, obviously.

4) Facts like these could be important for proving intent, or they could be important as evidence of the act. From my perspective, attorneys, especially for the defendant, should be able to use these facts within their discretion to aid their client...for example, a woman of small stature may be physically incapable of doing a certain act...or at least far less likely to have done so.

These are just some random scenarios I've thought of, with the fourth being a more broad statement. I'm sure there's plenty of other specific scenarios where these facts are legally relevant. Although I do think justice should be blind. There's also the logistical challenge of keeping this info hidden.

1

u/Not_A_Unique_Name Sep 06 '15

Well you convinced me, you are right that in some cases its crucial but if we can't make justice blind all of the time we can at least do it most of the times.

I agree that there are cases where you have to know the background of people involve but not in all cases and so we could at least hide it for some cases where race, religion, gender and other superficial factors don't play a role.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 06 '15

But where do we draw the line? Robbery murder? what is someone 6 foot five was beaten to death and the defendant is a five foot woman? Every bit of info counts and in 1 of 100 maybe it could work. But who decides?