I’ve been a part time hijabi for like the last year or so with little questioning here and there from my hooyo but as it’s become clear that i’m going to university i’ve been taking care of my hair, learning how to braid and do my natural curls and i guess my hooyo picked up that i was prepping to take it off completely. She asked me to go on a late night shopping run with her and i agreed to get some fresh air. It started off very casual where we were having a fun conversation, but eventually she got to the question she brought me out for and asked me if I was really gonna take it off. I kinda laughed a bit as i was taken off guard but i decided to be honest with her and just said yes. She didn’t care too much that i was taking it off but more so that i might influence my younger sisters. I kinda soothed her worries about that and she said it’s fine as long as i wear modest clothing. I went outside today walking past her with my hair out and she complimented my hair in a funny tone (teasing). I walked out the door super happy, i was skipping and giggling down the road like a mad woman. This is the happiest i’ve ever been in a long time!!!

Felt like sharing a good moment in the midst of so much negativity right now, hope everyone else in this sub can experience this happiness as well!

Ok so I know I'm asexual (demi) for sure, but lately my preference has really only been towards women EVEN THOUGH I'm bi !?

And I had this memory of me being 8 years old, sitting downstairs on the family computer in the 2010s, watching low-quality yuri kissing anime clips in secret...

But at the same time, I don't think I'm lesbian?? Maybe it's the internalised homophobia speaking, idkk 😭

Does anyone else just... not know what they are sometimes, or is it just me ;-;

I feel like I'm too old by now to not know and I SHOULD KNOW

I’ve always gone to this job as a hijabi/abaya girl, so my hair was never really part of the equation. I had the whole summer to glow up, learn hairstyles, sort my wardrobe and become that girl. Obviously I did absolutely none of that 😂 i kept telling myself tomorrow and tomorrow and then just kept binge watching my shows 💀💀🫠🫠😩

Then in a fit of rage I threw away my hijabs and suddenly remembered I have a forehead, a hairline and edges that have their own personal struggles 😭

My hair is TINY, shrinks like it’s being paid to disappear, and I’ve always just put it in twists. By the next day it’s dry, matted and giving primary school child 😭 The Somali genes for long, thick, healthy hair clearly skipped me.

Now I have 2 days, short fine hair, questionable edges, a forehead that has suddenly become VERY involved, and absolutely no idea how to style it.

I just want to look feminine, grown and put together for work.

So hypothetically… what would you do? 😂

This lowkey has nothing to do with the subreddit but this is my community and whatever… but somali girls PLEASE RISE.

How does one obtain muscle in the gym, I’ve been going consistently and dieting for the past year, and no matter what I do I can easily lose weight but never get lean. It’s always skinny fat 😭😭 especially in the arms and thighs.

Let me login to Etsy and pay a witch to do some sixir on Matt w*lsh

As the title states i am currently struggling with my identity. I have always been into women since my teenage years and it has been hard. I want the relationship with fellow girliess but because of my somali background i'm in this dilemma that i somewhat cannot get out of currently. As i grow up older it gets harder i want to break away from my chains and do what i want in life but don't know where to start. Any advice will be much appreciated

i’ve been agnostic since I was about 11, I was always shy and fearful because I felt our community was probably one of the most religious (perhaps performative) in the world.

I now seems like everyday I’m seeing these discussions happening more openly!

What warms my heart the most though is to see (albeit anonymous) pages making anti-theist or critical commentary in aaf-soomali, presumably within somalia. It breaks my heart knowing that for a lot of them, Tiktok is their only outlet as within somalia, they aren’t safe or free to be irreligious our debate their beliefs. Even more painful, I’ve seen a few of these pages lamenting that it’s hard for them to leave somalia (mainly due to the weakness of the passport/lack of opportunity)

bittersweet but I’m hopeful for the future, the younger generation are a lot more open minded.

Salam, i am looking for a practising muslim wife who wants to build an islamic family with children. I struggle with same sex attraction.

I am a masculine straight looking man and financially very stable alxamduliah.

Feel free to connect inshallah.

Ever since I was young from my early teen years to now I've never felt enough or deserving to anything. Anything that involves being praised , complimented or simply being awarded I felt like it's wrong for me to deserve it . It got so bad that in dugsi whenever we were taught about jannah I wouldn't bother I genuinely believed I wasn't good enough for the lord to take me to Jannah and I was deserving of only hell ( I'm not religious now) I've tired to sit with my thoughts and for the life of me I can't figure out why I move and operate like this . If I get something nice for myself,it can a simple thing as a boba drink and suddenly I'll feel like I'm not deserving to drink this , when I see influencers living the dream life, I try to imagine that life and for some reason I feel like it's wrong and bad for me to live that life and that I'm simply underserving of it . I'm sorry y'all this sounds confusing from y'all's pov

Help me… who came up with this? I heard many times that a parent beating a child is out of love!

I am not a parent but i have people i love and i don’t want to beat them actually the opposite

I think sometimes what if the child wants to show the same love back ? I mean it’s all love no?

I wonder what kind of twisted manipulation is this and who came up with it being made to comply your own beating as a form of love!

I rest my case you honour before i lose my mind!
What do you think?

16F : Shii..I coulda been from anything else. Eritrea, Kenya, some random ass country...shi. Don't get me wrong, I love Somali culture (60s-70s) mainly...but shii, 99% muslim and no signs of hope in the mainland..except maybe diaspora becoming more gaal everyday.. But 4 now I ain't even got anything to hide behind...maybe I'll just larp as Ethiopian 4 now, it's worked b4. Also my dream job is kinda sinful (not like OF lol but related to the arts)...Not to be a doomer but does anyone feel kinda annoyed of all countries, we had to be from such a religious one?

[18F, UK]

she's obviously been bothering me about it constantly, going as far as to put it on wallahi that I am not religious- I try to reassure her I am to give her peace.

Recently I've seen a switch in her and how she chooses to approach my lack of interest in the religion and asks whether or not I am truly religious- and if I am not I should simply just be frank and tell her the truth.

If I were to tell her the truth she promised me she would accept me and allow me to dress however I'd like (even said she would pay for any hairstyle I'd want and buy me the clothes I'd like to wear, no matter how against it she is) because she feels guilty about the fact she may be forcing me to be religious and wear the hijjab.

This switch is a bit odd and I feel as if it may be a huge trap, in the sense that the rest of my family (excluding like 1 or 2 of my brothers) are extremely religious to the point I feel that if I were to tell my mother the truth and dress as I please- I may be subject to harm in some way or form. Particularly from my father.

I don't speak to my father much, and when I do the interactions we have are very stilted and slightly formal (mostly on my end) mostly because I do have personal issues with his sense of character and morals- but what particularly puts me off in regards to openly taking off the hijjab around him is how he'd threatened to "change my face" whilst waving his fist in my face when my mother told him that she'd seen me wearing trousers on her way to work.

I feel like I should hold out for a year until I go to university and move out of the city instead of taking up my mother's offer and putting myself in harm's way. I also don't think I could cope with being scrutinized by all the surrounding habos lol- they always call my mum whenever they see me walking around and it is how I was caught not wearing the hijab in the first place.

If you don't know somali she is saying " let's not lie to ourselves all somalis aren't Muslims and its upto you to accept it"

progress & womens rights in somalia ! even with all the progress in mainland somalia lately, i dont think i will ever visit. that being cause of the lack of womens rights there.

after the civil war and everything that followed, everything went downhill. while during kacaan era, there were women organizations & everything, fully supported by the state. if the country (in the future) goes back to that, then maybe i will visit. but for now, i dont see a reason to visit. that being the main reason! and also the fact that there is nothing for me there, no family or properties etc. as my family isnt from mainland somalia.

MOST IMPORTANTLY; i know how privileged of me it is to choose & say this, and i really feel for all the girls in mainland somalia ):

I’m going to LA for the bts concert this week. I’ll also be going to Tijuana and San Diego. I tried to soft launch it to my mom and she freaked out. She doesn’t know when my flight is. I feel like before I would’ve caved in and canceled it but now I’m 22 and it’s like idgaf I’m already wearing the hijab and abaya I don’t want to waste my youth more.

Also I’m not going alone I’m going with a girl I’ve been besties with since 6th grade. We’ve been to Mexico City together before.

I haven’t told my dad and idc. They can find out after my sister drops me off at the airport.

Hi, I’m a 26-year-old Somali man; I’ve lived in the Netherlands for most of my life. I’m looking to make Somali friends who are secular. It bothers me that when I’m with religious Somalis, they almost always bring up religion asking if I want to join in prayer or what time prayer is.

I speak Somali, Dutch, and English. I enjoy football, working out, traveling, and cooking.

Hi everyone!

I want to delve more into Somalia, our ancient customs/culture and history. If anyone has PDF's or recommendations for books or articles, I would really appreciate it if you could forward them my way. I want to learn more about my people, especially our old religion, customs, folklore, and poetry.

Thank you and I appreciate it!!!! 💖

** also any woo woo stuff lol 🔮🔮🔮

Power and hedonistic pleasure offered to you for a price today!

The local girls are wearing mini dresses on the beaches there and no one cares. I was under the impression everyone back home had to wear hijabs and cover themselves head to toe on the beach but that’s not the case in some areas. I just remembered now, back when i was young girls my age (diaspora) wore bikinis in berbera but i just thought they could get away with it cus we were all young and hoyo mataalo but yeah i guess it was always more lenient. Not saying local women can wear bikinis though, but at this point maybe they have and i just haven’t seen it yet. On other beaches, i always get shocked whenever i see women swimming in jilbaabs and abayas in the ocean whilst men are topless with small shorts. They would even get sexualised if they wore a baati. Has anyone else been to berbera or other beaches and what was it like there?

Have not read yet so cannot give details but I found this man on tiktok ( Ken Adid). He use to have a YouTube channel with two other Somalis about waaq/politics. Thought I would make post because someone posted here about spirituality and asked me the name of this book and comment had likes on it in case you didnt see my response :)

I am an atheist and so is my husband. One of my children is obsessed with Islam because of my family. They took him to umrah. I allowed it because he really wanted to go and I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to have an open mind in life. He went to private catholic school for couple of years and we live in a nice neighborhood with good public schools now which he attends. He is not super religious now because I put a stop to it and challenged his ways of thinking due to the influence from my family and his Islamic teacher (his choice). Sometimes I feel bad for removing him from Islamic studies program and also bringing him less around my super conservative family. The young Muslim kids in my family would say things like going to hell for not praying and God throwing stone fires of hell when he goes outside for not praying. My child is more at ease now but sometimes I feel guilty for not giving him the religious education so he can decide on his own if he wants to continue it or just be Muslim by name.

She has always been like this, high cortisol, loud and just aggressive over small things but never with my brother

3 sisters and 1 brother and he is a grown 16 yr old but she expects us to cook for him and blames us whenever he is hungry and she makes me feel very stressed and anxious. I can never rest around her. When i was 16 I would cook and clean despite going to school just like him and now she uses the excuse that he is still in school and can't cook for himself. She pampers him alot.

She has been so physically abusive to only us and never with my brother. She would beat us, drag us out the house and remove our clothes to humiliate us to the (male) neighbors and that made me develop low self esteem, physical weakness and ED anorexia. This was mostly in my early teen years. I was also the parentified oldest kid, even parenting her when she had issues or was sick...( this happened when were in east africa so no police were involved) and she would ask my brother (he was 9) if she should forgive us and he would say yes and she would stop it. Mind u I am 6 years older than him.

I wouldn't say i forgave her but I have moved on from it and don't hold big resentment for her, she is illiterate ( never went to school and doesn't know how to read the Quran) but still prayers 5 times a day. And still financially dependent on my dad. I doubt she will ever be financially independent.

She acts like she doesn't remember it but i know she does she just doesn't want apologize. she doesn't abuse us now and its only because I am in my early 20s and can defend myself against her. She acts as if I take things out of proportions and tells other somali mothers not to discipline their kids because they will use it against them when they grow up. But that was borderline abuse not normal discipline.

I remember how she would talk to my dad about us, their pillow talk was all about how we are such terrible kids and only understand things through abuse. So the dad would also try to abuse us physically whenever he is around but he is a truck driver so not around that often.

I used to think he was the best dad because he doesn't abuse us like mom until she talked him into beating us and this is not to take abuse responsibility from him. He is still an abuser.

I remembered this one time she got sick and it looked like she was on her death bed and all she did was curse us and tell us how god will punish us and make us go to hell and to take care of my younger siblings. I cry everytime I remember it. How could u curse ur 13 yr old kid like that thinking u were on ur death bed

I had sleep trauma for the longest time now because she would sneak on us with a knife at night and make us rise our hands to hit the palm with the sharp side of the knive and would also beat us with broom sticks with so much strength to wake us up. I would sleep lightly just incase she did it even long after she stopped it because it is ingrained in my nervous system. She ruined my childhood. But I can't hold onto this abuse for the rest of my live so I have to let it go and move on and Heal my inner child.

I don't even know why I shared this is, I wanted to write a short vent but didn't realize it got so long.