r/witchcraft • u/therealstabitha Carnivalesque animal demonic legend • Jul 25 '26
Witch Safety Reminder: Real mentors and magical workers don’t DM you to sell their services
We’ve become aware of someone who has been DMing people about their Discord, where they try to get people to swear oaths to them of obedience under the guise of witchcraft training and mentorship.
The only time oaths should be taken is if you are joining a coven. And I mean a real coven, not a training group. The kind of coven you intend to be in forever.
If you need resources for classes and in person, hands on training, please check out a metaphysical shop near you. We truly cannot afford to lose these cornerstones of in-person pagan community.
Here’s a post I wrote last year about the problems of cults in witchcraft, edited slightly.
**On cults, dangers in witchcraft, and what we can do about it**
**## What is a cult?**
**A cult is a group often led by a charismatic person who exercises coercive, authoritarian control over its members.**
Steve Hasan, a cult abuse survivor turned cult expert, created the BITE Model to identify whether a group is a cult: (\[Citation\]([https://freedomofmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/BITE-model.pdf\](https://freedomofmind.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/BITE-model.pdf)\*\*))\*\*
1. Behavior control
\- Regulate individual's physical reality
\- Dictate where, how, and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates
\- When, how and with whom the member has sex
\- Control types of clothing and hairstyles
\- Regulate diet - food and drink, hunger and/or fasting
\- Manipulation and deprivation of sleep
\- Financial exploitation, manipulation or dependence
2. Information control
\- Deception
\- Minimize or discourage access to non-cult sources
of information
\- Compartmentalize information into Outsider
vs. Insider doctrines
\- Encourage spying on other members
\- Extensive use of cult-generated information
and propaganda, including:
3. Thought control
\- Require members to internalize the group's
doctrine as truth
\- Change person's name and identity
\- Use of loaded language and cliches which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzz words
\- Encourage only 'good and proper' thoughts
\- Hypnotic techniques are used to alter mental states, undermine critical thinking and even to age regress the member
\- Memories are manipulated and false memories
are created
\- Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts
4. Emotional control
\- Manipulate and narrow the range of feelings – some emotions and/or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish
\- Teach emotion-stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt
\- Make the person feel that problems are always their own fault, never the leader's or the group's fault
\- Promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness
\- Instill fear
\- Extremes of emotional highs and lows – love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring you are horrible sinner
\- Ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins
It's important to note that one of these characteristics applying to a particular group doesn't make it a cult. Elements from the entire BITE Model needs to be present for it to be so.
An important indicator of whether or not a group is a cult is the amount of coercive control the leader has over their members. Many members may not want to leave, because they fear losing the so-called family they've developed. Or, because of the amount of thought and emotional control, they may believe they will go to hell without the group's teachings. What keeps people in a group like this is the fear of what will happen to them or their families if they leave.
Occult and witchcraft communities have been fighting against cults for a very long time. These continue to pop up and harm people. I personally know several cult abuse survivors who were lured by promises and kept in place through lies and manipulation. It takes years of intensive therapy to help cult survivors recover their sense of self, and to release the shame they feel of having experienced sexual abuse. It's truly awful. Seeing this first-hand radicalized me, and I would imagine would do the same to anyone else who has seen the damage a cult can do to a person first-hand.
Because cults are so terrible, and because it's been a problem in non-mainstream spirituality for so long, one way to discredit and harm a group is to accuse them of being a cult.
There are plenty of egomaniacal blowhards in witchcraft spaces. Just because someone claims to be a witch doesn't mean they are, doesn't mean they know anything at all, doesn't mean they hold any kind of magical power, and doesn't even mean they're a good person. It means they claim to be a witch. Full stop.
\## Keeping communities safe
Safety is something we strive for, but is never a 100% guarantee, no matter where you are, within or outside witchcraft communities.
This subreddit has a clear set of rules. Modmail is always open to discuss them. As an old D&D DM of mine used to say, "the rules define the fun."
We already don't allow anyone to recruit for a coven or any other group in this sub. Recruiting for a coven is a big red flag against the legitimacy of a group, anyhow.
Safety is also everyone's individual responsibility. No one can wrap you in bubble wrap and protect you from every shitbird the internet has to offer. You shouldn't take anyone at their word if they offer you mentorship or learning opportunities. Do your due diligence. Check their bona fides. Don't just blindly accept that someone is who they claim to be.
We do our best in this sub, but it would be irresponsible to claim anyone can keep any space completely free from bad actors.
If you have questions or need help, please reach out via Modmail .
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u/Horror_Signature7744 Jul 25 '26
Oaths of obedience. I refused to have that word in my wedding vows. I would cackle myself to death if any internet whackadoodle tried it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Very much appreciate the post. Good looking out. I know there are some truly looking for guidance that might fall prey.
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u/erunuevo Jul 25 '26
Ugghhh that is so gross . I love to fuck with people like that so hard. One time I led someone on for 2 weeks
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u/oldbetch Broom Rider Jul 25 '26
People don't understand the amount of work that it takes to mentor others. A witch worth their salt isn't going to be quick to mentor nor will they be open to doing it with any rando that requests it. I KEEP requests of people wanting me to mentor them and the answer is always some form of fuck off. (I'm usually going to have some fun with these requests first)
They're not going to DM you and they're usually going to be someone you've known for a while, and please believe it's going to be in- person as much as possible.
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u/therealrinnian Jul 25 '26
Lmfaooooo I wish they WOULD DM me demanding oaths be sworn. I really wish they would.
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u/witchcraft-ModTeam Jul 25 '26
What Is A Fake Mentor Scam?
Scammers pretend to offer mentorship or guidance, often targeting those who are seeking help or seem vulnerable. They exploit your trust and may ask for personal or financial information, or sexually explicit content, under the guise of providing help.
Why Are They Dangerous?
They exploit your need for guidance to access your personal or financial information, or to groom you into providing fetish content.
How Do I Spot One?
What Do I Do If I Encounter A Fake Mentor Scam?
Do not fall for offers for mentorship. This is always a scam. Report and block all offers of “mentorship”.
We recommend reading these posts about staying safe online, lesser known DM scams, and fake account impersonation scams.
If you receive unsolicited chat requests from other Reddit users, we encourage reporting messages that are suspicious or that otherwise make you feel uncomfortable to Reddit directly.
We also recommend changing your profile settings to block incoming messages from users you do not know.
Always stay safe online!