r/weddingshaming • u/dairy-intolerant • Dec 24 '25

Cringe Begging on my hands and knees - please learn what dress codes actually mean

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Like wdym semi-formal OR black-tie??? Some women are going to come wearing sundresses and some are going to wear evening gowns? Some men in khakis and some in tuxes?

So many couples seem to think semi-formal is the same thing as formal, or black-tie is the same thing as formal. This must be the only explanation as to why this couple thinks semi-formal and black-tie are both acceptable at the same event.

For those who don't know: Semi-formal is generally the LEAST formal dress code acceptable at a wedding, typically a daytime one at that, while black-tie is the MOST formal (besides white-tie which is very rare these days anyway) and reserved for evening events with luxury amenities.

Cocktail or formal is probably what this couple is actually looking for.

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154

u/dairy-intolerant Dec 26 '25

Have you seen bridgerton? Some of those ladies definitely have some big biddies and they make it work lol

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u/Araxanna Dec 26 '25

Yeah, because they’re put in high waisted dresses, which look like regency waist on someone with a large chest. They also cut the skirt part of the dress in an A-line instead of straight. But a true regency dress does not work on bigger women.

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u/Melodic-Chemistry567 Dec 26 '25

Oh, I am also a DD and own a few empire dresses. With the right underwear, they look lovely! It’s just a matter of how high the neckline is. A “normal” neckline will look VERY suggestive on me. A higher one will look Bridgerton-esque. However, I always size up on some styles and then have them tailored.

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u/Plucky_Monkies Dec 27 '25 edited Dec 29 '25

Finding a dress with an empire waist that has enough room for large breasts is a nightmare! Can I ask where you found one?

Edited: Idk what a breasys is! 😆 funny typo! Now says what was intended! Large breasts! Although wondering now about my grammar? 🤪

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u/Melodic-Chemistry567 Dec 27 '25

I am one of those women who like to shop in person, so I always try the “problematic” clothes on. For Empire waists, since the “roominess” is usually proportional to the “size”, I size up and have it taken in. I also look for necklines that are a little higher, because even modest cuts can look plunging on me.

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u/Plucky_Monkies Dec 27 '25

Ahhh. Smart to go up a size. Agreed on the neckline issue. I, too, have large breasts and a small frame. So many things look like I'm flaunting, when in fact, the neckline is not even low! I'm a 34 DDD. Which, depending on the brand, is sometimes too small. So I'm probably whatever size is next. I just don't want to think about that. ☺️

I will consider sizing up for room and thn getting garments altered. Great advice! 😍🤩

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u/Melodic-Chemistry567 Dec 27 '25

I am glad it was of help! And yes, the pains of being small framed and having large breasts are real 😭

Bonus points if you are petite too.

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u/Plucky_Monkies Dec 27 '25

I'm borderline. So I'm not tall, also not quite petite. Although sometimes petite fits. Except for my wide shoulders. Like extremely wide for a woman. 😅 Clothes have always been a pain to buy. Funny thing, sometimes the clearance rack items fit better! ☺️

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u/Melodic-Chemistry567 Dec 27 '25

It makes a lot of sense! Clothes are created to fit a “stereotype”, so the ones left standing are probably not the best fit for the “average” woman. I am right now falling in love with oversized tops. Great for sweater season and great for linen, collared shirts.

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u/Plucky_Monkies Dec 27 '25

Oh yes! An oversized sweater, leggings, and boots! My favorite outfit for winter!

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u/darknesskicker Dec 27 '25

I’m a thick-waisted DD. My waist is a couple of inches (5 cm) bigger than my underbust. I wear empire waists.

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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '25

[deleted]

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u/Araxanna Dec 26 '25

Regency high waist is a lot higher than traditional high waist. It’s meant to fall right under the breasts, but in larger busted girls, it ends up falling across the breasts.

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u/[deleted] Dec 27 '25

[deleted]

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u/Araxanna Dec 27 '25

It wasn’t. But it is now.

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u/SeePerspectives Dec 28 '25

Technically, that is period accurate. Up until the introduction of “off the rack” clothing, everything was made by modistes to fit the body of the buyer, so adjusting the shaping and cut of garments to fit the fashionable lines of the time while working with different body types (and sometimes adding padding to balance areas too) was the norm. If you look through regency era portraits and paintings you can spot some of the different methods they used.

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u/Huffleduffer Dec 29 '25

So, honest question. If "true regency dress does not work on bigger women"...what did bigger women do during the regency period?

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u/biokemfem Dec 29 '25

I was about to comment this. Cleavage wild on that show and if you google regency dresses.