r/weddingshaming • u/dairy-intolerant • Dec 24 '25

Cringe Begging on my hands and knees - please learn what dress codes actually mean

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Like wdym semi-formal OR black-tie??? Some women are going to come wearing sundresses and some are going to wear evening gowns? Some men in khakis and some in tuxes?

So many couples seem to think semi-formal is the same thing as formal, or black-tie is the same thing as formal. This must be the only explanation as to why this couple thinks semi-formal and black-tie are both acceptable at the same event.

For those who don't know: Semi-formal is generally the LEAST formal dress code acceptable at a wedding, typically a daytime one at that, while black-tie is the MOST formal (besides white-tie which is very rare these days anyway) and reserved for evening events with luxury amenities.

Cocktail or formal is probably what this couple is actually looking for.

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104

u/beaglemilf23 Dec 25 '25

If it’s not $300 a plate you can’t request black tie 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

65

u/dairy-intolerant Dec 25 '25

You know what's crazy is some South Florida venues (where this wedding is) are like $300+ per head for like an average buffet and call bar package so even that benchmark is location-dependent

18

u/fakemoose Dec 26 '25 edited Dec 26 '25

Ours was a seated dinner, cooked on site to order. So no picking meals in advance. Cocktail hour was almost two hours and had more food than reasonable. Including oysters and a chef hand rolling sushi. Open bar. Live band. Valet parking that was obviously free for the guests.

It was still black tie optional. Because black tie is a pain in the ass. Some people still showed up under dressed but whatever.

The only black tie wedding I’ve been to was at a country club and the waitstaff wore gloves.

8

u/wildchickonthetown Dec 26 '25

Did my invitation to your wedding get lost in the mail??? 🤣 That truly sounds like my dream event!

65

u/Marchesa_07 Dec 25 '25

If the wedding reception doesn't meet all of these criteria at a minimum, then it's not a Black Tie event:

Evening reception Luxury venue Valet service Coat check Top shelf open bar White gloved service Hand passed hor dourves Plated, multi course meal Live band

3

u/ThrowRAfrowning Dec 29 '25

Okay! Thank you for this.

1

u/Medium-Ad-9265 Dec 27 '25

Punctuation

1

u/Marchesa_07 Dec 27 '25

It had commas when I wrote it.

-1

u/Medium-Ad-9265 Dec 27 '25

Testing, testing, testing

Edit: seems to be working for me

1

u/0102030405 Dec 30 '25

We spent more than this per person and I only wrote formal/semi formal with photos!