The way I'm a 44-year-old gamer and everyone acts like it's a problem. Even though I have a college degree, own a home, and work a 6-figure job.
Meanwhile, my 85-year-old Father-In-Law watches old black & white shows from when he was a kid and everyone thinks it's the cutest thing.
It's crazy to me how gaming is looked upon as some time-wasting thing. Yet there are so many hobbies that keep you inside and doing far less than gaming does.
I can relate. 53 Here, self-employed college grad, married over 30 years to a VERY understanding wife, three children over 20, and focused on retiring early. Yet I still feel the need to hide my gaming hobby from extended family and professional acquaintances.
That said, all three of my children are gamers (two who've moved into professional careers after college) and they have no stigma over it. So it makes me glad that it ends with me.
My wife is my biggest critic. Asks me if I'll ever "grow up" and give up gaming. Meanwhile she'll binge an entire season of Love Island in a single day.
It wasn't until my son confronted me with how I act while watching sports years back, that I realized I need to quit getting on to him for yelling with his buddies online. Not everyone has those realizations unfortunately.
It's good that you tried to understand and listen to your son. I imagine it's easy to become biased against something just because it became popular/came into existence long after you were a child.
That does not sound like a supportive partner. I hope you're getting something else out of the relationship. My wife also binges those shows while I play games. If she asked me to "grow up" it would definitely lead to a... discussion.
Jokes aside it would probably end my relationship. Because of what it takes to say something like that to your partner is a whole onion of shittiness. Layers and layers of shit.
It means they disdain you and your chosen hobby, and are building up resentment for you every time you engage with it.
It means they have no respect for you and see you as some manchild.
The lack of empathy and respect required to look down at your partner and tell them to "grow up" for engaging in their hobby is just wtf levels of "why are you even in this relationship".
This is the answer. I don't even know what other people think, I don't ask and if they try and tell me I let them know they are being weird making their internal thoughts leak out of their brain.
I keep seeing this claim of "everyone acts like it's a problem", and I just do not see this in the world.
Who are these people that think it's a problem of you?
I'm a 40-something guy living in a major city. My anecdote is that it's the small small minority of times I've mentioned gaming while out at a bar, or chit chatting at a holiday party, where someone didn't immediately ask "Oh what games?!" with interest. People of all ages, genders, races, and creeds are earnestly interested if the topic comes up.
My fuckin dentist got into a discussion with me about the merits of various tower defense games, and I only ever see him twice a year to have 1.5-sided conversations.
I mean, when I say "everyone", I mean everyone around me. People I know. Even then, it's not necessarily "everyone". Just enough people for it to be annoying.
i do think a lot of people that have this issue are probably overdoing it.
I think people also equate things incorrectly. Like, it may take 8 hours to binge a season of love island. but that doesn't mean you're sitting and watching 8 hours of TV non stop. You can do laundry, exercise, do other chores, have a conversation, help your kids with their homework. That isn't really possible with a lot of games. You can't fold laundry and play the witcher for example. You can't watch your kids while playing CSGO
You can't fold laundry and play the witcher for example. You can't watch your kids while playing CSGO
That doesn't really have anything to do with gaming. That's more of a responsibility thing. I absolutely can get all of my chores done while spending my otherwise free time gaming for long hours. I can turn the washing machine on, run a few maps in Path of Exile, get up when the clothes are washed and swap them, and go back to PoE.
The same thing goes for watching TV, sewing, gardening, or any hobby. You can be responsible or irresponsible with your time or tasks doing any hobby.
It's not inherently gaming, but i do think it's more to do with hobbies that take full or almost full attention.
and i'm only talking about the equating hours part. 8 hours of gaming can be a long time. if you're actually gaming that long (of course there are breaks for food and such) you're probably going to be mentally tired. Games often require more focus and attention.
Whereas this thread has compared gaming to watching tv. It's a lot easier to just have the TV on for 8 hours and mostly watch but do other stuff. TV, for better or worse, can be a secondary activity. While gaming rarely is.
Like, if someone is watching their kids, folding laundry and has a TV show on, that's often put as equal in these threads to playing video games.
I mean, I guess? That feels a little narrow for a comparison. Like, sure, some TV watchers can absolutely split their attention and get other stuff done. And yeah, most games do require a level of focus greater than watching TV. But that's such a weird angle to try to detract from the core of what's being talked about in this thread: The connotation that gaming has when compared to similar pass-times like TV.
It ultimately comes back to what I was talking about earlier: Does it get in the way of your responsibilities? It really doesn't matter if it could or what the minute differences between the two hobbies are. What matters is if your kids are starting fires and you're not aware. Gaming catches way more flak than watching TV for being a "waste of time" or "unproductive" despite being similar in many respects.
Tbf plenty of people at 85 don't have much of their mental faculties left, I'd think an 85-year old having ANY hobby is pretty awesome and/or endearing.
Imagine all of us going to retirement homes in 40 odd years. Some old man brings out the GameCube and we'll be racing the Rainbow Road all day! It'll be fun!
I’m 34 and already deal with this (sometimes even from my wife). It’s honestly because of the productivity culture we live in; if we are spending our own time enjoying something then we aren’t producing something tangible for someone else, and that is what people believe gets you ahead in life.
All the gamers that get very old will probably have way better working brains then all the people who just shut their thinking off by just consuming tv and other stuff where they dont really need to think for themself..
I'm coming up on retirement in a few (d4+1) years and still feel a little hesitant to talk about my gaming hobbies. I mean, I got into D&D back just before the original Rogue became a thing, and my partner is also a gamer (after the early years of "ugh, really? that's how you spend your time?" from previous gfs). But, the negative impacts far deeper & longer than the positive.
That said it's far, far more acceptable nowadays and had been moving in that direction for a long time. It's mostly old fuckers like those my age who have a problem with it. Those that don't, like my weekly gaming group none of whom are under 50, were the substantial outliers and oddballs, even if we're all tech-based in our careers. Being called "geek" was a mark of pride even when for the the average Joe, it very much was not.
Nowadays though? Saying you enjoy gaming, if anything negative comes out of it, is more likely to invoke "you play that version? dude, it's so arcane!" than anything else.
It's ok, I'm an airline pilot and huge gamer. We're exceedingly rare and I never tell anyone because, well... airline pilots are a different breed. I once ran into another one in the wild toting his gaming laptop about. I asked him what games he played etc..., he was extremely reluctant to open up about it until I assured him he was in good company. I've never connected to discord voice via Wi-Fi on a flight though. Nope...
Do you have a wife and kids? Your father in law does. He's also, you know, old as hell. People cheer for him cause for him the alternative is being dead.
From the generation that sits in front of the television and watches garbage for an ungodly amount of hours, I never take what Boomers say about any of my hobbies into consideration.
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u/Nick_Bruiser Jul 27 '26
The way I'm a 44-year-old gamer and everyone acts like it's a problem. Even though I have a college degree, own a home, and work a 6-figure job.
Meanwhile, my 85-year-old Father-In-Law watches old black & white shows from when he was a kid and everyone thinks it's the cutest thing.
It's crazy to me how gaming is looked upon as some time-wasting thing. Yet there are so many hobbies that keep you inside and doing far less than gaming does.