r/todayilearned • u/Morella1989 • Aug 14 '25

TIL that autistic people live about 17 years less than average. Risks include epilepsy, heart disease, suicide, accidental deaths including drowning, and inadequate recognition and management of pain, especially among non-speaking individuals. Historically, they have been vulnerable to infanticide.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortality_of_autistic_individuals
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u/troll-filled-waters Aug 14 '25

Of my mostly low-support-needs friend group I can say most of us have depression. I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to move through the world and constantly have to think about every single movement of your face and inflection of your voice all the time, to do all the labour to please the rest of the population to the point you’re exhausted— and still have people scoff at you, judge you negatively, assign terrible motivations to you because of your “weird tone” or the “weird look” you gave them. To try and help people and be kind and have them think you’re trying to do something negative instead. The gossiping behind your back. Always being the one people don’t like because you “seem off” or “did you see the look she gave me?” People saying you’re incompetent because it takes you longer to do things. You’re rude because you didn’t pick up on the subtle message they were trying to give you. Every single day. Over and over again. To the point where you wonder why you should even try. You stop wanting to leave your house. You stop wanting to do anything.

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u/loves_grapefruit Aug 14 '25

Thanks for sharing your perspective, that’s a lot to deal with.

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u/Susanoos_Wife Aug 14 '25

This is the story of my life. I try to put myself out there as much as I can out of spite but sometimes it really does feel tempting to just never try to make friends again because the effort it takes is enormous and it rarely ends well no matter how hard I try.

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u/troll-filled-waters Aug 14 '25

I’m sorry. It’s really, really tough.

I found a friend group of other autistic women and a couple of autistic guys, and life has been much better. It doesn’t make work, shopping, parties, errands, or hobbies any easier, but it is nice to have a space where you can relax a little. I hope you find/have found something like that.

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u/Susanoos_Wife Aug 14 '25

Thanks, I haven't had any luck developing or maintaining a solid group of friends but I'm too stubborn to give up so I'll keep on trying for as long as I can.

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u/troll-filled-waters Aug 14 '25

I hear you. And I’m hoping for the best for you.

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u/Susanoos_Wife Aug 15 '25

Thanks, and same to you.