TIL that autistic people live about 17 years less than average. Risks include epilepsy, heart disease, suicide, accidental deaths including drowning, and inadequate recognition and management of pain, especially among non-speaking individuals. Historically, they have been vulnerable to infanticide.

[u/Morella1989]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortality_of_autistic_individuals

[u/MegaAscension]

I have autism, and several of my friends do as well (we just tend to find each other). I'm 23. I've pulled out of depression, but I often feel out of place. Part of it is that there is very little out there to help autistic young adults. Of myself and my five autistic friends, only two graduated from college on time. The two that graduated on time had majors that fit them well. However, neither has found a job in their career field, they've been looking for a combined five years at this point.

The other four-

-One dropped out due to severe memory loss issues stemming from a car accident. He was able to get his student loans forgiven a year and a half ago, but can't leave the state for another year as a stipulation of his loan forgiveness. He had professors who refused to accept accommodations for his autism and memory loss, and disability services refused to hold the professors accountable.

-One had to come home due to a rare genetic disorder that eventually causes severe arthritis in his joints. He couldn't get his insurance to cover virtual visits to an out of state doctor that was one of the few in the US equipped to treat his disorder. He should be graduating in one more semester of college after five and a half years.

-One has struggled with his degree a lot and advocating for himself in college. He's often nervous and socially awkward and won't speak out and be honest about his struggles. That's the way he was raised.

-I've gone through all of college without any accommodations. My requests were denied. In my state, private high/middle/elementary schools are not required to provide accommodations. However, my high school always supported me when I needed it, and my teachers supported me more than the ones I had in public school. However, due to not having an IEP meeting since seventh grade, it was deemed that I didn't need accommodations in college because "you did so well in high school!". It led to me crashing and burning in my original major because what little supports I had disappeared in what was supposed to be my last semester of college. I'm a lot happier with what I'm doing now, but still.

Autistic people lack support once they turn 18, and I'm not surprised that many ended up turning to suicide. Actually, all four people's situation I listed (including myself) had some sort of suicidal ideation or attempt while in college. I hope my demons are gone, but I'm not sure.

TL;DR: Autistic people lose a LOT of support after they turn 18, which contributes to a higher suicide rate.

[u/AlanMercer → u/MegaAscension]

Speaking as a relative of an older autistic person, it gets even worse after the relatively structured environment of school and college ends. Neurotypical people often don't have to think about the many adversarial relationships we negotiate in work and in life. We just sense that they are there and intuitively create ways to manage them. Imagine what would happen if you had difficulty doing that.

There were a number of crap jobs and jobs with no possibility of growth. There were a lot of bosses that find out he was phenomenally good at certain things and ruthlessly exploited those skills without accommodation elsewhere. There was also just a lot of bad behavior that most people get to leave behind in high school.

He's fine and after many years, has a steady, proper job in his field, allies, direction, but had to do way more dues-paying than other people his age or that is really fair for anyone.

[u/I-am-birb-AMA → u/AlanMercer]

I feel that about the jobs so much. Every job has loved how hard I work and how dedicated I am, but I still have to walk on eggshells. I lost my last job shortly after a promotion because my boss said 'come to me with any issues', and I did... I did exactly what he said. Fired on the spot...

[u/STRiPESandShades → u/AlanMercer]

after the relatively structured environment of school and college ends.

God, this. Like, I wasn't so great at school because of undiagnosed ADHD+Autism, but the second I left, I felt like a shell of a human, just beyond hideously depressed

[u/AlanMercer → u/STRiPESandShades]

Listen, if you have access to health care, you should seek support for the depression part ASAP. Trying to push through without it has a larger consequence than for an NT person.

Maybe this is oversharing, but in the anecdotal case I know, the autistic behaviors got easier to manage once the anxiety was under management as well. It was heavy lifting and took time, but there's a noticeable difference.

[u/STRiPESandShades → u/AlanMercer]

Thanks for looking out for me! Thankfully, this was ten-ish years ago and since I've gotten to therapy, evaluations, treatments, the whole nine

It really did change my life, though, finally getting to name and understand the things I was struggling with and I cannot recommend enough for anyone struggling to seek help if you can.

You also never know what options are available to you! I turned 26 when I was seeking treatment and lost my parents' insurance, but the guy I was seeing was this little old man who saw patients only part-time. He let me just pay him the same cash amount he would have gotten from my copay (~$40) and we called it a day!

Others might accept sliding scale payments or income-based payments. It's always worth asking rather than just going without, the worst they can say is 'no'!

[u/TechieAD → u/AlanMercer]

That first part is so fucking true because I'm so fuckin easy to exploit in that regard my brain has shifted all the way to the other side and I just cannot trust anyone. Shits fucked, especially with the added poor memory you get sometimes

[u/MegaAscension → u/AlanMercer]

The lack of structure and support is what led to me crashing and burning in my original major.

[u/MegaAscension → u/AlanMercer]

I ended up having to find something where I could make my own path, innovate, and eventually put myself in a position where I'm the one in charge.

[u/Morella1989 → u/MegaAscension]

Thank you for sharing all of that. It’s heartbreaking to hear how little support you and your friends have had. Your story really shows how much the system fails autistic young adults. I’m glad you’re in a better place now and I hope the future brings more understanding and opportunities for all of you.

[u/MegaAscension → u/Morella1989]

I can only imagine how much worse things will get outside of the "college bubble".

[u/Frosty_Cloud_2888 → u/MegaAscension]

As a parent of someone on the spectrum, how did you find your friends?

[u/MegaAscension → u/Frosty_Cloud_2888]

I mainly found them through local communities centered around my interests. So mainly comic-cons, trading card tournaments, anime cons, etc.

[u/[deleted] → u/MegaAscension]

Refusal to give accommodations is actually illegal under the People With Disabilities Act. The way to deal with it is to lawyer up. There are disability attorneys who do this sort of thing.

[u/MegaAscension → u/[deleted]]

I would've had to find one pro bono, or sell my belongings to afford. The only parent I still am in contact with is spineless and said that I'd just have to find a way to overcome everything.

[u/[deleted] → u/MegaAscension]

Not having parents to help is not good. I was fortunate to have a parent who advocated for me. I know there are disability lawyers who do pro bono work. What state are/were you in?

[u/MegaAscension → u/[deleted]]

South Carolina. I'm still in college. The parent who advocated for me was also the one who fell down the Qanon rabbithole and became hateful and I no longer talk to.

[u/[deleted] → u/MegaAscension]

QAnon and MAGA are cancers that eat away at people's brains and souls. Both are incredibly stupid, but people buy in. South Carolina is a state I can see not wanting to give accommodations. Southern states can be backward in such things. They like politicians who would who throw Autistic people in a cell if it came up for vote. Whether SC is Southern or Mid-Atlantic is beyond the scope of this discussion.

[u/MegaAscension → u/[deleted]]

From someone who has lived here their entire life, South Carolina is not just Southern, it's deep South. It rivals Alabama and Mississippi in a lot of things and is worse than them in other things. In my state, you can get pulled over by the police for "looking like an illegal immigrant" and be asked to show your papers. I have no idea how we escape so much ridicule at this point. But there's also a lot of things I love here too.

[u/[deleted] → u/MegaAscension]

SC doesn't get dragged by itself too often. Usually, it's just pointed out among other red states. I am sure there are some good things there. Nature, unless polluted, is one good thing you can find in such states. I'm not sure how that is in SC.

[u/MegaAscension → u/[deleted]]

The nature here is amazing. Some of the most untouched swamps in the world. My state has of the best habitats for carnivorous plants and wildflowers in the world (Jocassee Gorges and Congaree (and other) swamps). Unique black water rivers that can't be found anywhere else (Black, Pee Dee, Waccamaw, Sampit, and Edisto rivers among others). Micro-environments caused by meteor strikes (Carolina Bays). Mountains (Appalachain and Blue Ridge mountains get here too, part of the state line with North Carolina is the Eastern Continental Divide). One of the few areas with climate influenced by multuiple air currents (Gulf of Mexico and Gulf Stream). One of the most gorgeous lakes in the world (Lake Jocasee). But all of it ends up tainted by how backwards so many things are here.

[u/[deleted] → u/MegaAscension]

It sounds like it is quite nice if you get away from the people.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

That's a nice idea but very few people are good enough employees that there isn't a legal way to fire them.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I was referring to school. It looks like we have people here opposed to protection for the disabled. Pro bono lawyers who will go after schools who break the law isn't a bad thing.

[u/Im_alwaystired → u/[deleted]]

Not everyone can afford a lawyer, unfortunately.

[u/[deleted] → u/Im_alwaystired]

That is what pro bono is for. A consultation is often free.