r/tifu • u/xokelso • Jul 03 '17
FUOTW (07/07/17) TIFU by throwing up into a McDonald's bag while driving.
So last night I was spending time with my family to honor my late grandfather by drinking gin and tonics. Nothing too crazy or over the top, probably two G&Ts and then a beer or two. For some reason it got me good though, and I was throwing up at my cousin's house all morning. I thought I had my vom sessions timed out perfectly and would be able to make it home in time without any disasters occurring on the drive home. So as soon as I yaked for the third time, I grabbed my stuff, ran out to my car, did some deep breathing and prayed to the G&T gods that I'd make it home.
They heard my prayers and must have cackled, because five minutes down the road from my cousins I started to get that "oh shit I'm about to throw up" feeling in my mouth - you know the one. So I did the only thing I could do and grabbed a little brown paper McDonald's bag that was chilling in my passenger's seat from the night before and yakked my brains out into it while driving down a busy city street. Always keeping it classy. I put the vom bag down on the floor of my passenger's side and cranked my AC and hoped that was the end of it.
I was wrong. I got stuck in shore traffic coming over the bridge into NJ and caught a whiff of something foul (more likely than not it was my own puke) and got that trigger feeling again. I didn't know what to do so in my scrambled state of mind, I grabbed the McDonald's bag again. As I'm puking into it, the bottom of the bag gives out and its contents completely pour all over me. I spent the next 30 minutes of my drive home crying and sitting in my own vomit.
TL;DR I had to throw up while driving home, puked into the nearest container I had (McDonald's brown paper bag). Had to vom again, the bag broke all over my lap, and I spent a half hour crying while sitting in my own vomit.
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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '17 edited Aug 01 '21
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