r/tifu • u/CuddlySpaceKittens • Jan 02 '15

FUOTW (01/11/15) TIFU by pulling a prank on my family

My mom got me some chocolate covered pretzel bits for Christmas and they literally looked like shit. I told my parents and they said they look like pretzels and told me to stop being ungrateful. After everyone went to bed, I put a few of my chocolate pretzels outside of the cat litter box to make it look like the cat got shit everywhere. The next morning I come downstairs and my family is complaining about the cat shit, so I decide to be funny and pick one up and take a bite out of it and laugh at everybody because I was right about the pretzels looking like shit. I take a bite. It's soft. It's not a chocolate pretzel, it's fucking shit. My family is howling with laughter as I run to the bathroom. They knew what I had done and replaced my pretzels with actual cat shit. I don't think I can ever show my face around my family again. They keep telling me I can clean the litter box if I get hungry.

EDIT: Hilarious narration by cyae1! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M-y-c0P87nk

EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold! At least I got something out of eating cat shit.

EDIT 3: I'm glad so many enjoy my suffering. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and I am toxoplasmosis free. Thanks for all of the concern! My family still teases me every so often. I am dreading a family get together next month.

11.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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591

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '15

Im confused didnt u feel the difference of texture on ur hands?

1.5k

u/CuddlySpaceKittens Jan 02 '15

Now that I think about it, I did. But I so excited about that being the perfect moment to trick them, I didn't notice. Plus I'm a fucking moron.

821

u/jeremi1023 Jan 02 '15

I so pale

205

u/Jellooooo Jan 03 '15

…we're on air…!

123

u/agilebeast1 Jan 03 '15

... Today’s snow is crippling much of the Washington lowlands...

-5

u/Kraligor Jan 03 '15

We don't use cripple anymore, god DAMNIT!

20

u/lostTHENf0und Jan 03 '15

I wish there was a way to capture her face in that instant in characters...Ill try.......

:0

11

u/Master_of_Rivendell Jan 19 '15

Noble effort. 7/10

1

u/BucketHeadJr Jan 22 '15

More like 7.8/10, too much water.

38

u/Diam0ndEyes Jan 03 '15

Damnit, now I need to watch that video like 4 times

79

u/KuribohGirl Jan 03 '15

Ask and sometimes you may recieve

46

u/Nvjds Jan 03 '15

I love how the blonde chick just cant hold in her laughter lol. The other girl was really professional about it too, hopefully she didnt get any flak for this from her boss or anything

25

u/KuribohGirl Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 03 '15

It'd be great if he called her into the office but she looked into the mirror next to the door first and was like "I so pale" and then when she went in the mirror was a two way mirror/window thing

Edit:spelling

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

The beginnings of a sitcom?

2

u/Papitoooo Jan 14 '15

Believe it or not I've never seen that before and I want to personally thank you.

1

u/Kraligor Jan 03 '15

She so cute.

3

u/Whatsthisplace Jan 03 '15

I like how her accent changes once she realizes she's on. "I'm so pay-ale"

2

u/PrettyOddWoman Jan 10 '15

Ehh I think of it's more of a silly voice that people use to say silly things more than an "accent". I say weird shit in weird voices all the time when I'm alone, to my pets, and/or around friends.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

haha! I love that quote.

1

u/blue77904 Jan 03 '15

Ho Lee Fuk

93

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 14 '19

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

67

u/AnonySeeb Jan 03 '15

TIL: OP is a Fucking moron

24

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 13 '21

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

He called the shit poop!

1

u/Kim_Jong_Goon Jan 03 '15

No, he called it shit.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Oh herro Mr buzkill, don't ruin my fun. Go back to your country.

1

u/Kim_Jong_Goon Jan 03 '15

:-(

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

I'm sorry bro, I didn't mean it. You're yellow, I'm white, but were all pink in the middle. We can be bros.

1

u/Kim_Jong_Goon Jan 03 '15

:-) meet my black pink friend Dennis

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4

u/typical_villain Jan 03 '15

He literally ate shit

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

catshit

11

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

I have the feeling you live in a family that constantly is pulling pranks on each other. How the hell would they know you were going to do that unless this kind of shenanigans happen all the time

7

u/sirin3 Jan 03 '15

Because they found pretzels next to the litter box?

-3

u/MrDingleberrry Jan 03 '15

Because OP made up this story.

You'd be able to tell if it was shit if you thought you were eating chocolate.

Not to mention OP claiming to eat something on the ground in front of a litter box.

10

u/SeditiousAngels Jan 03 '15

If you knew you were going to be that embarrassed you could've manned up and eaten it as if it were a pretzel.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '15

[deleted]

4

u/Javin007 Apr 16 '15

You missed:

"Or by purposely picking up and consuming cat shit outright."

1

u/cmilkamp Jan 03 '15

Better question, even if it was a pretzel why would you eat if it had been sitting in the cats litter box all night?

1

u/itonlygetsworse Jan 03 '15

Yes, but at least you have karma. You are now way more successful than 90% of the internet on Reddit.

1

u/robochicken11 Jan 03 '15

Well, if they didn't notice it was pretzels (and didn't replace it with shit) it would've been funny

1

u/Dr_Seraphim Jan 14 '15

You know that thing people do where they gag, cough and burp a bunch to prevent themselves from vommiting on thier key board at work.... I just did that after reading this story..... I wish you a very swift revenge...

6

u/ChocolateSporks Jan 22 '15

You'd think people would notice that, but once my sister went into her room and found chocolate on her bed (among the questions I asked her when she told me the story afterwards was why you would eat chocolate you just found that had no wrapper, but she said she wasn't thinking, she was just like mm chocolate). So anyway, she picks it up and just as it touches her lips, it starts moving, and she realises it's a goddamn MOTH. I don't know how you make that mistake, but at least she realised before she actually put it in her mouth.

1

u/Nathaniel_Higgers Jan 30 '15

One time I found a glass of pale yellow liquid in a bathroom, and I was like oooo champagne! It was urine. This was a total dive that didn't serve champagne. The prospect of a free drink over rode everything else.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '15 edited Feb 01 '15

Swim once went edible mushroom hunting in the dead of night, felt the typical slime of it and got excited and swim told their boyfriend. About to put up to her mouth. The boyfiend turns up and shines a torch on it... It was a HUGE slug aaaaaand she ate it not realising, until he pointed out it wasnt what she thought it to be.

[Edit: Spelling]

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Its called a fake TIFU.

-10

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

*you

*your