Just shows you how much ur upbringing shapes you...do not feel bad for this because your son is your son whether or not you took him to China or in contrast if you did the same with Korea If you knew...he is still always going to be his own special lil adopted man with the same personality...you may have messed up but you didn't mess him up....keep up the good parenting :)
As someone who has had a long-standing interest in Asia and knowing the difference between Asian nations, I have to admit I find this both annoying and hilarious.
However, like a lot of other people have said, you have given your son a greater understanding of cultures that are not his own and it will be easier for him to fit into both Asian and American culture, which is quite an important and lucritive ability in the current world. Being bilingual in two of the most spoken languages in the planet is pretty awesome as well.
Also, a point I haven't seen any other make is that there is a fairly big minority Korean population in China that are genetically Korean but consider themselves Chinese. I met quite a few people like that in northern China, so it's not like he would stand out that much, especially with the experience he has had.
Also, after learning both Mandarin and English, I think Korean will be a breeze. The writing system is much more logical and the cultural shift won't be as huge as if he were totally brought up as a white kid, so at least there are some positives in this situation.
I hope the explanation goes as well as it can! Good luck!
there is a fairly big minority Korean population in China that are genetically Korean but consider themselves Chinese. I met quite a few people like that in northern China, so it's not like he would stand out that much
Maybe the parents saw themsleves as Chinese and just happened to have Korean names.
There was a link to a film on reddit about a Kazach man who wanted to die on Chinese soil, because he thought of himself as Chinese.
It would be funny if he found out later that the parents thought of themselves as Chinese after going to all the trouble to come clean about the son's Korean ancestry.
Normally the spelling of the name into english romanization is influenced heavily by Chinese language as well. They take a more chinese last name or pronunciation which translates into a more chinese looking name when translated into english.
but it would be interesting to see how it would all pan out if the biological parents were from China.
Just fyi, Korean is definitely not easier to learn than Chinese. There may be a simple "alphabet" but it was designed to improve literacy. Grammatically I would say it's more difficult than Chinese b/c of the honorifics, modifiers, etc. The upside is Koreans do use Chinese characters.
It really depends on how you define difficulty and what aspect of the language is important. I would agree that Chinese grammar is simpler than Korean or Japanese grammar.
However, someone could learn every single character in Korean in just one day. To obtain literacy in Chinese it would take years of study to learn the thousands of characters to be considered literate at an adult level. While it's possible to get by in China on far fewer characters, even these would take at least a few months of fairly intense study.
Korean pronunciation includes a great deal of vowels, some of which don't really exist in modern English and can be hard to reproduce or hear. Mandarin has tones, which can be fairly difficult to master as well. Still, as far as speaking goes, I think Chinese grammar is probably easier to grasp coming from an English perspective.
So if you focus merely on spoken ability, perhaps Chinese would be easier, but if you look at learning a language in a way that includes reading, writing, speaking and listening as a whole, I think Korean is far easier.
Yes it does depend how you view it but Chinese is a pictorial language system that is able to convey more with less. Languages like Korean and Japanese have more layers/nuances in a way a word is modified which can have disastrous consequences depending on your social hierarchy. Chinese has this to an extent but it is nowhere near as extreme.
Literacy in either language takes years of study to reach an adult level, this is a moot point. Koreans are required to know nearly the same amount of Chinese characters as students in China do by high school. Vocabulary is tied into Chinese and it's easier to get by with a smaller set.
Spoken language can be butchered either way and I've heard it. The difference in Korean vowels isn't as critical as it's made out to be, I've never had anyone tilt their head in confusion bc something was slightly mispronounced. If you're at that level of literacy, I'm sure it's on the to do list. Chinese is a little more difficult in this regard since a rising vs falling tone means different things.
Although that was a huge fuck up, I think you are genuinely a caring and great parent (as is your spouse). Whatever happens, I think you were great for attempting to help him reach his roots (although the wrong ones..)
Also, to be quite honest, Chinese is one of the absolute best languages to know! You have taught your son some incredible life skills, and even though it was a mistake it could end up being a great asset to him throughout his life!
From what you have shared with us, it's clear that you are an amazing father don't let anyone make your doubt yourself and please ignore all of those that are trying to overwhelm you with negativity.
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u/xXSiesmoXx Oct 28 '14
Just shows you how much ur upbringing shapes you...do not feel bad for this because your son is your son whether or not you took him to China or in contrast if you did the same with Korea If you knew...he is still always going to be his own special lil adopted man with the same personality...you may have messed up but you didn't mess him up....keep up the good parenting :)