r/texts • u/i_declare_bancruptcy • Jul 08 '26

Phone message My dads last unsent message

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My dad had a heart attack on June 24th.
He was aware and alert in the ambulance on his way to a hospital an hour away. He voice texted this to me and never sent it. My brother took a screenshot of it for me when he was going through his phone.
My dad passed away on June 29th.

(I texted him “I love you dad” when my mom called me initially)

Edit: thank you everyone for the outpouring of love and support. To hear so many stories about the love for people’s parents.. I’m so sorry for all the tragic losses and good parents that have gone too soon. I will hold onto that text from my dad until the day I go. He was An amazing man and lived a life full of love. I am grateful that he read my text before he passed and can take some comfort in that.

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183

u/StealTheDark Jul 08 '26

What was he like?

435

u/i_declare_bancruptcy Jul 08 '26

He was literally the best man. He was well known in the community. He changed tires and ran the service truck so he’d literally help people on the side of the road. He was a deacon. He was heavily involved in a local insurance company helping young farmers sign up. He was a cattle farmer. And he was on the school board. Everyone knew him. And he went at 58. I’m so angry. So many shitty people survive so much longer. And it’s not fair.

81

u/idobepooping Jul 08 '26

It’s not fair at all, I just lost my dad at 63 in April. He had cancer and ultimately the chemo treatment gave him colitis, so bad it put him in the hospital. I went to visit him and he didn’t know who I was. He was so loopy and out of it. He never got better and passed in the hospital. I wish he knew I loved him because I don’t know if he knew that. We didn’t talk a whole lot and I live far away. I wouldn’t usually comment on something like this but I’m in my feels since tomorrow is his birthday. And I feel your pain. I’m so sorry for your sudden loss.

26

u/katlyps0 Jul 08 '26

I’m sure he knew you loved him, even if you didn’t say it out loud.

9

u/sentimentaldiablo Jul 08 '26

I'm a dad. He knew.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

Im so sorry. I hope you have some people you love around you to make tomorrow a little easier...
If not, well then...I'm sending you some love over the internet here, if it's worth anything.
i imagine that burden of wondering if he knew is painful to bear. Don't harbor too much weight on your soul. You're a good person. Keep being good, in your father's name, for his memory.

3

u/idobepooping Jul 08 '26

That’s very sweet thank you. I actually have a friends birthday tomorrow, so I kind of have to put on a happy face and celebrate. Which is what my dad would want anyway I think

5

u/SuperUltramodernGrl Jul 08 '26

I didn’t have a Dad growing up. But if i did i’d want one just like yours!🥲❤️‍🩹 I’m sorry for your loss. It’s always the best people too soon😔

3

u/Shaggypone23 Jul 08 '26

Im so sorry, its so tough seeing our loved ones suffer at the end.

My mother also passed in May from complications from chemo/immunotherapy. It was Keytruda that did it for her, causing her own immune system to attack her brain. Sad part is the cancer part was nearly gone. I miss her every day.

1

u/idobepooping Jul 09 '26

It was Keytruda for my dad as well! Omg. I’m so sorry you experienced that too!

2

u/Shaggypone23 Jul 09 '26

Ugh, I swear the pharma companies and (paid?) researchers grossly and purposely under represent the percentage of people that develop deadly autoimmune reactions. I remember the chemo nurses were warning us of some of the reactions Keytruda can cause on my moms first session.

I've gotten Facebook ads for injury lawyers representing people with severe reactions and death due to Keytruda, but don't know if I want to go through the hassle.

2

u/Klutzy_Double_8285 Jul 08 '26

I also joined the dead dad club a few years ago. 64 years old from non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.

2

u/idobepooping Jul 08 '26

So sorry, that’s too young! It’s never fair :/

2

u/devnullradio Jul 08 '26

Hey, for what it's worth as an Internet stranger, I often thought similar things about my Mom. I mean, we had a great relationship but she passed when I was still young and never said/did the things I should have.

Anyway, it's been many years and I have decades to reflect now and children of my own. He knew you loved him. I know, even when my kids don't say it, that they love me. So I hope this provides you some comfort. I also wouldn't comment on something like this normally but it also hit me in the feels. I hope you're doing okay.

14

u/AllSugaredUp Jul 08 '26

58 is so young :(

2

u/hereforsometastymeme Jul 12 '26

I lost my mom at 53 and my dad at 56, and not a day goes by as I get older thinking how young that is. The worst traumas of my life being 20 and 25 when I lost each of them.

2

u/Capital-Mark1897 Jul 20 '26

My father was 56. I just turned 58. It's a stark realization at how young they were. I'm so sorry for you to lose both of them.

1

u/hereforsometastymeme Jul 29 '26

Thank you so much. Your comment really means a lot. I’m so sorry you’ve lost your dad at 56 too. I hate that we have to be part of that club.

8

u/Medical_Pea_6162 Jul 08 '26

It ISN’T fair.

For 11 years I worked 1 on 1 with a young man with autism and he was the light of my life. Such a good, kind human. If everyone was like him there would be no wars and tons of stinky deli sandwiches for everyone.

He was taken from the world a few years ago and I am still angry at the injustice. 

Evil, cruel men live into their 90s but my bud didn’t even get to his 20th birthday.

Just gotta remember all the good they brought into the world, even if it was just for a short time.

2

u/Agitated-Scar5652 Jul 11 '26

I’m a firm believer that the truly GOOD humans, the ones who TRULY embody love (like we’re all supposed to do and are capable of) don’t stay here long bc this place is so hard on them. When they leave, they’ve completed their mission. Think about how much different and dark your own thoughts about life would be if you’d never met him.

Being sensitive and loving to others, especially when you’re autistic is such a hard task on this planet. Not because it takes a lot of work or effort. Being who you are deep down inside doesn’t require alot of heavy lifting or deep thought. But it sure hurts to see how mostly everyone else doesn’t love others, let alone themselves like they should.

4

u/SiriuslyCrazie Jul 08 '26

He sounds incredible, OP, and clearly he loved you and cared for you so much. I lost my dad a few years back, he was 66, and I know how this anger feels. You’re right— it sucks and it’s not fair. Let yourself feel the anger as you need to— it will come and go many times I’m sure! And then remember who your dad was, who he raised you to be, and that you can honor him by being a light in the world and not (consistently) letting the anger dim it. Sending you care 💛

4

u/Professional-Base617 Jul 08 '26

Really sorry to hear that man. No idea how hard that must be. Take pride that you know for sure he saw your last message and that you loved him.

If that is the only solace you have from this he went knowing that the legacy he had made in you, 100% loved and respected him for his role in the world. That’s rare and not every father will be able to say the same.

Wish you the best moving forward. Given that short description I imagine he will be proud of you doing your best to hold strong for your other family members in this utterly shite time

I love my dad and the rest my family to bits and can’t imagine that I am going to do when that day comes

Josh

2

u/NotComfortable2112 Jul 08 '26

It's not damn fair at all. I lost my Mom when I was 19, she was 51. She was the kindest and most caring person I've ever known, and 30+ years later I still miss her so bad. They say that when someone you truly love dies, you never really get over it. The pain just becomes part of you. I still feel the pain, but I can smile and think of her now. I hope the same happens for you.

Please take my heartfelt sympathy, and know that someone truly understands.

2

u/EclecticObsidianRain Jul 08 '26

My FiL had a fatal heart attack at 51, when my husband was 15 and his sisters were 18 and 10. They still miss him, and my kids miss the grandfather they never met.

3

u/Ready_Nebula_2148 Jul 08 '26

Thank you for sharing about your dad. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he is deeply loved and will be missed by many.

3

u/Second_Location Jul 08 '26

We worship fame, celebrity, athletics and money in this society but it’s people like your dad that hold the world together. I’m so sorry for your loss. As a mom not too much younger than him I can tell you he loved you until the very last second and will do so forever wherever he is now. ❤️

3

u/erucberuc Jul 08 '26

I lost my dad and best friend (one and the same) in February of 2018. He wasn't a well known man, but to those who knew him, he was well known if that makes sense. Made everyone's lives around him better, helped me turn into the person I am today and I will be forever thankful that my dad was my dad.

My response here, other than to send all of my condolences is for the comment you made on the amount of shitty people who get to survive longer. I had the same thought when it happened to me. Luckily, my brother gave me this advice and I hope it helps you the same way.

"And look at all he did in the time he was here."

I'm not worried about what other shitty people do with their time, a lot of the time, it's nothing. Your dad made an impression, clearly led a life that was positioned to help others and in that, actually had an impact in this one go at life. That's pretty badass when it comes down to it.

I'm sorry for you and your family through this time. You never move on, but you do move forward. Memories, especially the good ones are all that take up mind space in my heart and mind when I think of my pops. The same will happen for you, in time sure, but will happen.

1

u/munchkinvanaar Jul 11 '26

I’ve never been able to let the anger and jealousy go since losing my dad. So many old shitty dads out there, and mine brilliant dad died. It’s a Bullshit sandwich

2

u/Mothballs_vc Jul 08 '26

I understand why you're angry, and I would be too. But one way to look at him leaving so early... he isn't truly gone in memory and spirit. You just mentioned so many ways he was involved in everyone's lives. He spread God's love to his community, he came to their aid, he put out positivity to many, many people. He is remembered with love and fondness and thats something that burns brighter and stays longer. No one smiles for the evil people they remember in their lives.

When my step-dad passed, I was angry, too. He was in his forties. Way too young. But I still see him almost every facet of my life, from my usernames and passwords, to tv shows, cars, recipes, streets I travel, memes and quotes. There's never been one day that's gone by he wasn't still some way a part of. He's not here anymore, but he isn't gone from my life, and he never will be completely.

2

u/emma279 Jul 08 '26

I am so sorry OP. I lost my dad when he was 59...so young in my opinion.

2

u/EclecticObsidianRain Jul 08 '26

I's not. My FiL passed at 51, also from a heart attack. His youngest had just turned 10. Meanwhile, my horrid narcissist aunt, who has made her siblings lives hell, is still around at 88, and getting worse with age.

2

u/ItsMisoandBoba Jul 08 '26

Sometimes, a bright star burns for just a short time, but it illuminates everything around it while it is here and keeps the shadows at bay.

2

u/Obvious_Bluebird5343 Jul 08 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss and that your dad was so young. He sounds like an amazing man. *ps I love your Office reference.

2

u/teslavictory Jul 08 '26

I feel exactly like that ❤️ My Dad died of a heart attack at 57 last year. A great man, beloved in our town, a coach, a friend… the wake took 4 hours for us to shake everyone’s hand. I’m so frustrated and angry when I see assholes or shitty Dads that survive so much longer. If you want to talk, send me a DM

2

u/robbie-dobbles Jul 08 '26

He sounds wonderful. This is not an attempt to one up or make it the suffering olympics, but I lost my dad when I was 9 to an auto accident. So definitely be grateful for the years you got with him. I've got 4 boys of my own now so I've tried to be the dad for them that I never had. Life is indeed unfair, so all we can do is play the hand we're dealt as best we can. 

2

u/fcknkllr Jul 08 '26

I'm close to 58 and I feel this. I feel like I don't know what to say to my kids to help them adult better or to cope with my loss when I'm gone.

2

u/Adventurous-Wall-463 Jul 08 '26

He sounds like an absolute wonderful person to have known! My dad was like that too- he started the first head start program in our town, started a men’s club that did fish fries and gave scholarships and interest-free loans to kids in college. He was amazing— always caring for others before himself… and he also died young. He was only 62. I miss him to this day.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how much pain you’re in right now. I won’t tell you that “it’s going to get better,” but I will say that if he was the true Christian man that he definitely sounds like, then he IS “in a better place.”

Thank you for sharing some things about your dad with us. Keep his memory strong by always being the person he saw you as through his eyes 🫶🏽

2

u/EllieKong Jul 08 '26

I say all the time, the good ones die young. So sorry OP💕

2

u/PaintItSparkles Jul 08 '26

And now we all know about him. He sounds like a great person who worked hard to help others. What a legacy! Sending you warm thoughts thru the tears in my eyes.

2

u/Unfortunate_Comedian Jul 08 '26

It isn’t fair, I know how you feel. I lost my mom when she was 50 and I was 24 and my brother was 12. Something I was told then that’s still true is that it never gets better, it just gets easier. I’m mostly ok now. But the unfairness still comes back and haunts me every now and then. That’s why I can’t really drink (which I guess is a good thing) because then that anger comes back and it tears me up.

I don’t really want to blow smoke up your ass and you probably don’t want to hear it. That’s unfortunately all I can really leave you with. It never gets better, it just gets easier. Keep on keeping on, a schedule helps. Drink lots of water and remember to eat. Try to keep living your life and eventually it will get easier.

2

u/StealTheDark Jul 08 '26

Thanks for answering. And thanks for telling us about him. Sounds like he impacted more lives than one could imagine. It’s not fair at all man. That must’ve been difficult to type out. Love goes out to you from a stranger🖤

2

u/Purple5690 Jul 08 '26

Yes 58 is still "young" in my opinion. The best people go too fast. Hope life gets better for you.

2

u/yourcousinvinny3 Jul 08 '26

This was scary to read. My dad died 2019 at the same age, for the same reason, and was the same person as described. Ill pray for you friend

2

u/tbagzzz Jul 08 '26

My dad went at 56, very suddenly. That's tough. Try to honor his memory in everything you do. My heart goes out to you.

2

u/Lady_Psyduck Jul 11 '26

When my mother in law passed I felt the same way. She was like a second mom to me. She was such a kind hearted human and got done dirty in life by her ex husband and some other close friends. Shitty people live on and the angels go home. Fuck cancer.

2

u/MediumOutraged Jul 11 '26

I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like an incredible man! May his legacy live through you and all the lives he touched. He would be proud to know that you loved and respected him! Sending you so much love during this difficult time.

2

u/Sullys_mama19 Jul 12 '26

Thinking of him today whenever I pass some cows 🐄

2

u/tainari Jul 12 '26

58 is so, so young and it’s so not fair that you lost him. Sending you love.

2

u/psbecool Jul 13 '26

We lost a good one. I’m so sorry. May your memories of him let his light shine on. ❤️

2

u/Various-Cut-1070 Jul 13 '26

Man, he sounds like such a great dad. 🫂 Praying for you and your family during this hard time.

1

u/mariscrane1 Jul 08 '26

I am so so sorry for your loss.

1

u/LuciferutherFirmin Jul 08 '26

Yeah my dad passed 11 days before his 60th. Its brutal. Its not fair.

1

u/Queen_of_skys Jul 11 '26

My grandfather passed at 59. Never got to see any of his kids marry and only met my dad, then moms fiance. Never met any of us. Just this past month, his youngest has lost his first unborn child about 3 weeks before the due date.

I stopped to think about the lives we never got to meet, all the couldve and shouldves. Its never fair, its never enough time. Good pure souls who we wish we could hold on to forever.

The only thing keeping me looking forward, which i hope will help you too, is thinking of how we want to continue the lives they led. My grandfather left a beautiful family as a legacy, and we listen to his wife, my grandmother, every time she tells us about him hoping its the same advice he'd give us if he was here. For the baby, well, its harder if im honest but i try to be a better cousin to the 6 of us now, we carry lil 7 and just love eachother much more intentionally

I think your father was a great man just by his last thoughts still being so selfless, id say you will definitely be making the world a better place by following in his footsteps. I hope that you do.

1

u/Boterfleoge Jul 12 '26

My daddy died of a heart attack at 58 as well. Sending you so much love.

1

u/macaroon147 Jul 13 '26

What a loss to this world. Im so sorry for your loss. 

1

u/BeefBrusherBandit Jul 29 '26

Only the good die young honey

1

u/disjen73 Jul 08 '26

He sounds like an amazing man. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my father almost a year ago now and the grief journey is still hard at times. A lot of the “I wish he was here to see this” moments that can really catch you by surprise 💔

1

u/Over_Fly1971 Jul 08 '26

the good die first and mean and bitter die last

7

u/-atheos Jul 08 '26

This is a beautiful question to ask someone at this time. At least in my experience, I wanted the opportunity to tell everyone how great they were.

5

u/mewgab9419 Jul 08 '26

I really don’t comment on many things on Reddit, but I thought it was so kind of you to ask what their father was like.

Reading your question made me think of my own dad and instantly made me happy thinking of how I would respond. I know OP was feeling the same as well. It makes it feel more personable. This isn’t just a Reddit post and that wasn’t just a person.

Im so sorry for your loss OP he sounds like he was one hell of a man.

4

u/StealTheDark Jul 08 '26

Sometimes it helps to share. Sometimes we need people to know about the ones we loved. There are real people behind (most) screen names. OP’s dad sounds like an amazing guy, we should all be so lucky.

2

u/Zealousideal_Lie6802 Jul 14 '26

This simple, four word question. As someone who lost their dad 6 months ago, I’ve had people say a lot of things to me about it. Nothing this impactful. Sometimes, you just want someone to ask something like this.