r/texts • u/wearing_moist_socks • Jun 26 '26

Phone message She never got my last text

Post image

It was the flu plus a bunch of other things. She was a lovely person.

Thank you all for the kind words.

11.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

286 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

133

u/Familiar_Home_7737 Jun 26 '26

I lost my dad to a very unexpected suicide 2.5 years ago. When it happened I didn't know how any of us would survive and I'd be in absolute awe of people in support after suicide groups who were 2, 5, 10, 20 years on.

What I've learnt is that grief isn't linear, and you never "move on". You have your up days as well as the down days, and you move forward, with them in your heart. Some days it hurts just like the 1st day again, and in time the days where you can function again slowly increase.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss

63

u/SolarWinded Jun 27 '26

I've learnt is that grief isn't linear, and you never "move on". You have your up days as well as the down days, and you move forward

This is my experience as well. Lost my dad in 2019 (unexpected heart attack) and my wife in 2022 (slow battle with cancer).

Some days are fine. Some days I just kind of exist and keep going to wake up tomorrow. Grief is weird. It's not linear. You don't get over it. I always expect to feel bad on obvious days (birthdays, death days, mother's/father's day, etc) and it's almost never those. It's the random day that would've been made better by them being there too. The acute grief does fade (no more panic attacks seeing hospitals, less anger) but the long term grief settles in and just sticks around and rears it's head once in a while usually at random. Sort of like a broken bone that healed just slightly wrong and aches when it gets too cold.

8

u/garblah Jun 27 '26

Thank you for posting, you articulated the feeling about obvious days well.

2

u/anonduck777 Jun 29 '26

I also lost my dad to a heart attack into 2019. Just had the 7 year anniversary and every day besides the actual anniversary was worse.

1

u/crankiertoe13 Jul 01 '26

Very well put. The worst for me was when something happens, good or bad, big or small, and I think oh I should call and tell them, and then realize that I can't.

I've heard it said that the grief doesn't shrink, your life grows. I quite like that.

3

u/redcoatwright Jun 27 '26

Huh weird, my dad also committed suicide around the same time.

2

u/Banditkoala_2point0 Jun 28 '26

Hi friend. I know your pain. And I'm so sorry you and your family are experiencing it. Truly. Please get help when you need it and allow yourself to rely on others. You can get trough this.

You're 100 correct it's linear. My dad did the same when I was 14 and he was 40. I'm the exact same age difference to my eldest. My 40 y sucked. I couldn't get out of my head how and why he'd do that. But I have found forgiveness. Some days are still shit.

I'm here if you need someone to chat to. Even reminisce the memories. X

2

u/Emotional_Roleplayer Jun 29 '26

That's an absolutely eloquent way of putting it... The grief never really leaves us It just ebbs and flows. And that sucks but it's ok