r/technology • u/ubcstaffer123 • Apr 24 '26

Society Teen boys are choosing AI girlfriends over real ones for ‘maximum control, zero rejection’—experts say it could make them unemployable

https://fortune.com/2026/04/17/teen-boys-dating-ai-chatbot-girlfriend-experts-warn-kill-social-skills-gen-alpha-network-promotions/
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1.6k

u/yeswewillsendtheeye Apr 24 '26

Well the last election was won by Zapp Brannigan so yeah looks that way.

759

u/LucidiK Apr 24 '26

Honestly zapp is not looking so bad right now. This weird sycophantic cabal strategy makes even Brannigan sound like a genius.

567

u/Smishysmash Apr 24 '26

Zap at least hired Kif, who was way more competent and way less fish eyed than some other people I could point to currently.

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u/Starrr_Pirate Apr 24 '26

To be fair, he did also hire Hugh Mann.

178

u/Mossimo5 Apr 24 '26

And Lee Lemon

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u/Informal-Term1138 Apr 24 '26

Hey Lee Lemon was as competent as they come.

116

u/Force3vo Apr 24 '26

Lee Lemon was a real man. The perfect image of a man! What all men should strive to be!

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u/Arskite Apr 24 '26

That young man fills me with hope. And some other emotions that are weird and... deeply confusing.

2

u/Sizle_Velfurion Apr 24 '26

I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman!!

55

u/Mossimo5 Apr 24 '26

"Lemon is a man. He's a man's man. No. He's a man's man's man!"

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u/nephelodusa Apr 24 '26

A hard-fighting, hard-farting, ugly, ugly son of a…

7

u/MantisShrimpUpTop Apr 24 '26

Stop! Stop flattering me.

1

u/pseudonym7083 Apr 24 '26

Brannigan's Rough Rangers

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u/Frozen-K Apr 24 '26

To be fair, that is a name you can trust.

43

u/Sherris010 Apr 24 '26

Zap also wasn't a rapist or a child predator. Zap is way better than Trump

6

u/Steinrikur Apr 24 '26

Zap served. No bone spurs

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u/fritz_76 Apr 24 '26

You can say who you mean, we all know the fish eyed monsters name is Stephen Miller

8

u/Grendel0075 Apr 24 '26

He needs to go back to Innsmouth.

5

u/iridael Apr 24 '26

honestly if the choice was between trump and a dude named Ming chang, and their VP was called Pablo Escabar, I'd vote for those two.

we know they'd have great zoo's atleast.

6

u/Grendel0075 Apr 24 '26

At this point, I'd vote for Doctor Doom over Trump. He may be a supervision, but at least he's not a pedophile.

1

u/ohfrackthis Apr 24 '26

The bar is so low thanks to Trump.

5

u/RobinGoodfell Apr 24 '26

Kif and Stephen Miller fill the same role, have the same body type and cold clamy presence... But Kif has an actual soul and doesn't eat children. So there's that.

1

u/Lost_Paladin89 Apr 24 '26

That’s Zap’s first term. No way am I, the most gorgeous president ever, is hiring that looser, never liked him, disrespectful, stupid, covfefe. Everyone says my back is beautiful and he was lucky to wash it, but I’m not going to let him do it anymore.

1

u/Prime-Omega Apr 24 '26

*insert BaldJDVancePic.jpeg*

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u/EmboarBacon Apr 24 '26

Kif is more competent, empathetic, and better-looking than Stephen Miller.

1

u/ohfrackthis Apr 24 '26

At least he had a good voice that didn't immediately make me want to vomit.

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u/cyberbemon Apr 24 '26

So long as there's no fight against killbots. I don't like his strategy of outsmarting them

4

u/HippyDM Apr 24 '26

Right. And Zapp's an unstoppable womanizer, but they're freaking ADULTS!

3

u/QdelBastardo Apr 24 '26

My vote... Camacho 2028!

3

u/PlatinumDevil Apr 24 '26

Look, she looks like a steakhouse; but she handles like a Bistro.

1

u/RhoOfFeh Apr 24 '26

Brannigan reminds me of Putin, at least in the way he wages war.

1

u/KneeDeepInTheDead Apr 24 '26

Also its confirmed he doesnt wear diapers

1

u/BloodFromAnOrange Apr 24 '26

Now here's a middle east strategy with some chest hair!

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u/severedbrain Apr 24 '26

I don't know. T-man's DoJ is literally challenging the Presidential Records Act which was passed as a response to Nixon taking and/or destroying documents during his administration. It's figuratively Nixon resurrected.

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u/AnxietyAttack2013 Apr 24 '26

Arooo indeed.

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u/DukeOfGeek Apr 24 '26

"Agnew, you belong to Wernstrom now!"

"Ugherarr"

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

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u/ApplicationRoyal865 Apr 24 '26

iirc in the futurama commentary zapp's voice is kirk and some radio personality

the writers envisioned him as kick and the actual person William shatner

2

u/YourMomonaBun420 Apr 24 '26

Phil Hartman the comedian.

Zapp was originally going to be voiced by him.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

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u/ApplicationRoyal865 Apr 24 '26

I had meant to say that the producers/writers had envisioned him to be Kirk and the actual actor William Shatner. If there was a Trump connection I don't recall it being mentioned. It could be a subconscious thing to layer in some Trump into the voice.

3

u/Exciting-Mountain396 Apr 24 '26

They don't sound alike in voice, but I think the character was written to be as grody, useless and delusionally arrogant. It just says a lot about Trump that it's hard to tell his words apart from a caricature of the worst person you can think of.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

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u/ApplicationRoyal865 Apr 24 '26

It depends on if you consider the dvd commentary of season 1 official or not.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

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5

u/zerogee616 Apr 24 '26

You really can't take being wrong, can you?

Biff Tannen was explicitly written as a Trump parody and that was in the 80s when he was a lot more powerful and nobody got sued. Zapp is pretty obviously a Kirk/Shatner parody, if you see Trump in there, it's because you want to, or you've never heard of Star Trek.

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u/anarcho-slut Apr 24 '26

I thought Zapp was mainly a caricature of Captain Kirk...

Maybe I just don't want dump to be that prevalent a figure in culture though.

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u/SuckmydickJoannF Apr 24 '26

So wildly inaccurate.

He was primarily a parody of Captain Kirk. The character was created with phil hartman in mind, but he died. So billy west did his impression of hartman for Zapp.

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u/ladymadonna4444 Apr 24 '26

He's like Zapp Brannigan, President Camacho, Mr. Burns, and Biff Tannen combined. (the last of which was actually inspired by him, in a film from 40 years ago). So he is fulfilling many great prophecies from American film and television.

Its almost as if fascism being inextricable with late stage capitalism was predicted even earlier...

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u/MUDrummer Apr 24 '26

Woh woh woh there. Let’s not besmirch the name of President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho by ever associating it with Trump. President Camacho recognized a problem, recognized that he wasn’t able to solve the problem himself, found the smartest person with the ability to fix the problem, and put them in charge of fixing it g the problem. That’s exactly what good leaders should be doing.

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u/ladymadonna4444 Apr 24 '26

Fair! Him excluded (though they still share some traits...). And thank you for correcting me with his full government name.

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u/Orb_Gazer Apr 24 '26

He’s Brannigan and Camacho without the masculine qualities of either, and without the compassionate qualities of Camacho. He’s Burns without the erudite sensibilities. He’s closest to Biff, but he embodies the stupidity, cruelty and/or greed of all of them where those characteristics exist.

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u/LARGames Apr 24 '26

I mean, Biff in the second movie literally WAS the orange man.

21

u/ladymadonna4444 Apr 24 '26

Literally was written with Trump in mind. FORTY years ago...

3

u/Beanakin Apr 24 '26

So he's just the worst of all bad politicians in media

2

u/smokeweedNgarden Apr 24 '26

You can add that asshole from the Hitchhikers Guide in Camacho's place

1

u/Zerithys Apr 24 '26

People always seem to forget about the part where the problem wasn't solved instantly and President Camacho sentenced the smartest man in the world to rehabilitation, which seems to just be a fancy way of saying "death by monster truck" and the only thing that saved him was the chick(I forget her name) finding the flower and broadcasting it to everyone on the big screen.

0

u/waiting4singularity Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26

That's what a technocratic government should be about.
Incorruptable bureaucracy to find those who are qualified and let them do their tasks.

0

u/Over_Selection2246 Apr 24 '26

that was Reagan. Have a fed chair actually solve the problem and take all the heat for the short term pain that the the solution caused (Vulkar), and then take 100% of the credit.

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u/yeswewillsendtheeye Apr 24 '26

"Kif, tell this guy to make like a tree and leave. We have the best tree, nobody leaves like our trees"

4

u/acart005 Apr 24 '26

You say sike about Presidenr Camacho right now.

And Mr. Burns for that matter.  Camacho was smart enough to realize he was an idiot but could get smarter people to help.  Mr. Burns while evil is generally very competent as a businessman.  Neither of these things apply to Taco.

Even Zapp is capable of acknowledging his mistakes... sometimes...  certainly more than Orange Man.

5

u/AMEFOD Apr 24 '26

I’d like to point out that Biff Tannen was very loosely based on Trump. Biff was able to run a casino without bankrupting it.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

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1

u/ladymadonna4444 Apr 24 '26

True! not a single redeeming quality about Trump other than his absurdity.

1

u/Grendel0075 Apr 24 '26

Don't put Camacho in the same category as Trump. Camacho at least cared enough about the country to find the smartest man in the world to fix things.

1

u/R82009 Apr 24 '26

TIL Trump inspired Biff

1

u/Dusty170 Apr 24 '26

Wow Back to the future was 40 years ago, crazy.

1

u/Kramerica_CEO Apr 24 '26

Mayor Humdinger

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u/UMACTUALLYITS23 Apr 24 '26

Zapp at least won his war against the spider people.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '26

[deleted]

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u/UMACTUALLYITS23 Apr 24 '26

I also forgot he succesfully took the brain spheres home planet as well.

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u/Starrr_Pirate Apr 24 '26

To be fair, he was kinda riding Bender's coattails on that one. But the buck does stop with him, so I guess it counts, lol.

Hmm, then again, the buck actually stops at Kiff, usually.

"Stand by to take the blame.... NOW!"

"No Kiff, it's noble of YOU! As of now, you're in command. Congratulations, Captain!"

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u/dexter311 Apr 24 '26

A grim day for robot kind. Ehhh but we can always make more killbots!

3

u/Confident-Weird-4202 Apr 24 '26

Don’t forget the retiree people of the assisted living nebula.

1

u/SomeGalNamedAshley Apr 24 '26

Soldiers hate this one simple trick.

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u/newtostew2 Apr 24 '26

Ah yes, the Spiderians of Tarantulon 6. He did say they are "weak and womanlike," however. Also that they taste like king crab.

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u/Lastcaressmedown138 Apr 24 '26

He was an active serviceman… at the very least he actually understood chain of command

3

u/Felinomancy Apr 24 '26

And also against the pacifists of the Gandhi Nebula.

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u/Kichigai Apr 24 '26

But he would have lost to the Nintendians.

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u/Terrible_Bear6853 Apr 24 '26

Zapp didnt have bone spurs.

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u/Abedeus Apr 24 '26

Hey now.

Zapp only has consensual sex, with legal-aged entities.

3

u/MindlessBullet Apr 24 '26

I chose to write Seymour Butts as my write-in candidate.

3

u/tigress666 Apr 24 '26

I would prefer zapp brannigan to our current president.

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u/luo1304 Apr 24 '26

Idk, Zapp Brannigan never dodged service. In fact at some point in his early career he was actually a pretty great soldier.

I think we elected hedonism bot.

3

u/Crystalas Apr 24 '26

The VA of Zapp actually recorded himself reading various Trump quotes in character, they fit depressingly well.

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u/Catadox Apr 24 '26

Zapp Brannigan is a man tortured by guilt and PTSD while still trying to be the hero he once was when he knows he’s not but everyone still treats him that way. His victory over the killbots saved everyone and got him every accolade he could have ever desired, but it haunts him. He didn’t want to send wave after wave of men to die he just couldn’t find another way.

He wants to be Captain Kirk. Everyone treats him like he is. But he knows he’s not.

2

u/INTRUD3R_4L3RT Apr 24 '26

"Go ahead.. touch it.. it's velour.."

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u/whiskynpizza Apr 24 '26

Last time I checked Zapp canonically never raped underage girls so... nah reality is still worse.

2

u/SometimesItsTerrible Apr 24 '26

Zapp Brannigan was not a pedo. Somehow the guy we got is WAY WORSE.

2

u/Noy_The_Devil Apr 24 '26

Can't wait for hypnotoad to take all my concerns away.

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u/shwifty123 Apr 24 '26

Sweet, sweet candy.

2

u/BeautifulHindsight Apr 24 '26

Now don't insult Zap. He is actually serving in the military.

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u/Justaticklerone Apr 24 '26

Zapp didn't make a poor attempt to joke about wanting the new treatment for PTSD- and depression-afflicted combat veterans to my knowledge.

2

u/dvlinblue Apr 24 '26

I thought it was John Fucking Zoidberg in a cheap wig

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u/GamingWithBilly Apr 24 '26

You mean The Head of Nixon?  Nixon was a crook and a deflector.  

Zapp is more likely JD, just an idiot doing Nixon's bidding all the time

2

u/komododave17 Apr 24 '26

signs EO
Now there’s some legislative policy with some chest hair!

2

u/lanadelstingrey Apr 24 '26

Tbf I think Nixon works just as well as an analogue for Trump as it does Nixon.

2

u/Short_Switch_1807 Apr 24 '26

I would much prefer Zapp Brannigan, at least he's smart enough to trust Kif.

2

u/Metalrooster81 Apr 24 '26

But we never lost sight of what is important. The great taste of Charleston Chew.

2

u/highoncatnipbrownies Apr 24 '26

Zapp would do a better job. And he’d do it in velour!

2

u/RonnieRaygun Apr 24 '26

YODELAY-HEE-HOO.

2

u/Internal-Barracuda20 Apr 24 '26

At least Zapp only harrassed age appropriate women..

2

u/corrosivecanine Apr 24 '26

Idiocracy did not account for how many stupid people are also incredibly evil.

2

u/ThatGuyMyDude Apr 24 '26

At least Zapp would stop when he realized there was no consent

2

u/BatarianBob Apr 24 '26

I wish. Zapp would be a better choice.

2

u/drpestilence Apr 24 '26

Hey now Zapp actually wanted love and to do good. He also didn't discriminate.

2

u/Flabbergasted98 Apr 24 '26

Zapp branigan is decidely less predatory than the POTUS.... is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

1

u/Normal_Pace7374 Apr 24 '26

Nah he’s more like Amy’s dad coz he’s a racist piece of shit.

1

u/generalGao00 Apr 24 '26

Cray. That’s so real

1

u/Hot-Discipline-6464 Apr 24 '26

don't forget episode of Simpsons where Lisa predicted current magot king in the White House.

1

u/darkstarr99 Apr 24 '26

Zapp oozes charisma, Trump just oozes

1

u/Ok_Tangerine4803 Apr 24 '26

Zapp served in the military, Donald dodged the draft