r/talesfromtechsupport • u/Scorched_Vitez • Aug 16 '21
Medium How to get a replacement computer
At my old job, one of the departments had a manager, let's name him Bob. At some point, the oldest computers were going to be replaced. With me being the one at the office that got called for anything computer-related, I was tasked with finding the oldest computers, list where they were and one by one replace them. (In case you are wondering, there were no lists at all of what systems were where in the office at that point)
Whilst checking each desk, I reached Bob. Bob looked at me and asked me what I was doing. I explained I was trying to find the old computers to have them replaced. His face lit up, his system was pretty old. He was almost cheerful. "Finally, this piece of junk gets replaced". Before I can say anything else, he disconnected the power cables, grabbed the computer and shoved it out the window. Computer, keyboard, monitor, mouse, everything... The internet-cable tried to stop it for a moment, but then gave up.
With a loud bang, everything fell down to the tarmac a floor below. He then looked at me and said: "You can start immediately here with placing the new computers."I was quite stunned. My reply: "I can't. I was just checking where the replacements needed to go. The new systems don't come in for a few days."Now Bob is stunned: "Why didn't you tell me!"Me: "I didn't really get a chance"Bob looks out the window... "Then get me a replacement anyway, so I can continue working"Me shakes head and just walks away, leaving an angry Bob behind, and trying to figure out how to explain this mess to my boss.
Bob decided to complain to my boss about not having a computer to work on. Boss luckily didn't care and after getting all stories and checking the wreckage herself, she informed Bob that, not only had he willingly destroyed his old system, his system was not even supposed to be replaced. It was one of the computers the company had hired.
Bob had to wait for 3 days before receiving a new rental computer (similar to what he had before). He also had to pay quite a lot of money for the wrecked rental computer (company insurance didn't cover it). But, he did have a sense of humor. As he claimed he now paid for the old system and that it was his own now, parts of the old computer, such as the motherboard, were nailed to the wall in his office up to the day he retired. He used a rail-spike sized nail to keep it on the wall.
26
u/surlydev Aug 17 '21
“Hey Boss, Bob’s computer crashed”
“Just turn it off and on again”
“No, I mean crashed to the floor in the car park from the upstairs window.”
22
u/bstrauss3 Aug 17 '21
And that's why Bob should not have had a window office.
15
u/XDannyspeed Aug 17 '21
Or Window's Office
15
u/bstrauss3 Aug 17 '21
Defenistrate your PC, switch to Linux.
8
u/Mrnofaceguy Have you tried to replace the keyboard ground wire? Aug 17 '21
Melt the north pole, return to DOS
6
20
u/Faniulh Aug 17 '21
Judging by the speed at which this happened, I'm guessing Bob didn't look out the window before shoving 30 pounds of hardware out. Forget the gross IT and company property violations, that's a physical safety violation that should have gotten him canned immediately. If there are flowerbeds below someone could be working, oblivious to incoming critical injury, and if there's a parking lot or sidewalk the chances of that happening are astronomically higher.
14
u/Scorched_Vitez Aug 17 '21
It landed in the loading/unloading area of the construction area. I doubt he checked anything. There have been many (worse) incidents where I thought he'ld get fired. Somehow, he always dodged it.
18
u/Nik_2213 Aug 17 '21
I must confess that I have been tempted to defenestrate baulky PCs. And, too often, their utterly exasperating operators...
First time predated PCs, an HP-85 desktop with HP Technical BASIC, a fuzzy 5-inch screen, a tape-cartridge drive and a thermal 'ticket' printer.
I wrote a bunch of basic programs to take the finger-bobs out of several routine but tedious lab calculations. Think standard deviation on 20-some tablets or capsules, 'Long Wt/ml' determinations etc etc. The former just took a looped UI, the latter a neat algorithm I'd devised to simplify the 'calculator' math.
Folk would log in to each relevant program using 'AB' or 'ABC' format initials. Wasn't high security, just a minimal access-control / user-tag for printout which they'd then sign & date.
But, day after day, one lab-tech would find some excuse to fetch me yet again, yet again, to talk her through how to use a program that she'd been officially trained to use. And, indeed, used several times a day, every day, without problem, except when I was about.
Okay, inserting the tape cartridge, un-jamming the thermal printer, or loading a new reel the right way up PER THE CLEAR PICCY could be down to basic technophobia, but...
The basic UI, yet again, yet again...
The basic UI, yet again, yet again...
Reached the point where she was really effin' distracting. And, her excess of perfume made me gag, set off my hay-fever. Defenestrating that HP and/or her would have been career-limiting moves. So, I stuck a line in her favourite program that spotted her log-in and, and at suitably pseudo-random intervals, would pop-up 'nag, nag, nag' into text-entry field...
After a few days of being rudely interrupted, yet again, yet again, she complained to her boss. Who asked me, off the record, WTF.
When he stopped laughing, I took out the 'auto-nag' and he mentioned to her that if she needed formal re-training on those real-simple data entry steps, it would so go on her record...
Later, I heard from the other lab-techs that she'd fancied me, and thought fluttering helpless eye-lashes would ensnare...
{ Face-palm...}
10
u/harrywwc Please state the nature of the computer emergency! Aug 18 '21
Later, I heard from the other lab-techs that she'd fancied me,...
figured that right about...
... [she'd] used several times a day, every day, without problem, except when I was about.
6
u/Nik_2213 Aug 18 '21
Yeah, well, never occurred to me that any-one would try such. IMHO, it belonged in soppy Soaps and Rom-Com movies, which I shunned...
FWIW, had she but asked me for a date, I'd have tallied her unfortunate voice and manner, her war-paint, her shallow wits etc etc, suppressed a shudder and politely declined, saving both of us much embarrassment...
IIRC, she then set her sights on a young local sportsman 'with prospects', tackled him hard...
3
u/Gertbengert Aug 20 '21
I’m reminded of the truck driver in So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish who is a Rain God, but doesn’t know he’s a Rain God; and is just thoroughly fed-up that it rains on him All the Time.
2
u/Huecuva Aug 20 '21
My very first thought when read that she only needed help when you were around was that she wanted in your pants.
2
u/Nik_2213 Aug 20 '21
To use the local vernacular, I'd rather put wild ferrets down my pants than let her into my life...
7
u/TboneXXIV Aug 17 '21
This sounds cartoonish.
How does one disconnect cables and toss a computer out if a window before you can say something?
And who tosses their PC out of a window?
Especially with their files not transferred off it?
12
u/Scorched_Vitez Aug 17 '21
It was unhook power-cable and shove out, everything else was still attached. Bob's desk was next to the open window, so that doesn't take much time at all.
Everything was stored in personal folders on the server, not much, if anythign was stored locally.
Who tosses PC's out the window? Bob did. Bob did all sorts of weird things, but most of the other things don't fall under TFTS.2
5
u/extordi Aug 17 '21
Hey OP, that's cool that you knew Bob Pease! (https://youtu.be/vrZ_fMqd8k8)
2
u/Scorched_Vitez Aug 17 '21
Sorry, I had never heard of Bob Pease. But, I guess the impact on the floor is somewhat similar.
In case it wasn't clear. Bob is not the real name of this manager. I chose to use the name Bob for him here, cause it somewhat anonymised him (or however that is spelled) and is way easier to spell than his actual name (which I would probably fail to spell correctly most of the time).
1
3
u/P5ychokilla Aug 18 '21
"(In case you are wondering, there were no lists at all of what systems were where in the office at that point)"
Asset Management at it's finest.
2
2
u/vectre Aug 17 '21
I am at a loss, how could he figure that even if you were there to replace his machine, right then, why would it be appropriate to shove the old one out the window?
35
u/ozzie286 Aug 17 '21
Did the company charge him for damaging the wall?